Saturday, April 30, 2011

Determined To Enjoy Here & Now.

Rooftops, View From Atelier In The Hague, 1882.

Yesterday evening, I was in alot of pain, could hardly move my arms, typing became impossible.

Richie advised me to take 2 mg diazepam, to help relax my muscles, it worked, not only my muscles, but me too.

Because I was relaxed, I actually managed later on, to get to sleep too, which was good.

This morning when I woke up I instantly felt all the pain once more, especially my arms.

What I noticed most of all was how immobile my arms were, they just lay there, not able to move at all.

It felt like my arms were nailed down, got overwhelmed with grief at the thought of not having functioning arms.

Tears started pouring down my face, could not stop them, Richie was right by my bedside as soon as he heard me crying.

I also heard Cyril wailing in distress, because I was upset, Richie dried my tears, this took ages, every time he had wiped them away more came.

A seemingly never-ending flood of tears had to tell myself to stop, eventually I did, and then Richie got me THC, which helped me get back to sleep.

When I woke up a couple hours later I felt calmer, more philosophical, still upset at the inevitability of my situation, but determined to enjoy here & now.

Friday, April 29, 2011

A Thought Provoking Article.

Starruy Night.
Vincent Van Gogh.

The day started relaxed, despite both of us being in pain, me with my arms getting more paralysed, Richie with his hands, feet infection.

We ended up listening to music which was the only way to get away from the constant propaganda of the Royal Wedding.

As if nothing else was newsworthy such as the second day, a week later of the residents of Stoke Cross protesting against yet another unwanted Tesco supermarket.

Luckily we had plenty to do before a friends visit; Richie got me my laptop with the external hard disk copying my C & D drives.

Tomorrow I intend to clean up my system with something a friend found for me:
A free system cleaner program:

Our good friend Anja came by to help sort out our 2009 tax return, this took us 2 ¼ hours and it was done afterwards I could relax.

I did so with News Quiz followed by the Archers on BBC radio 4; both mentioned the wedding, one made jokes, the Archers had  more propaganda.

I looked at the papers they too were full of the wedding, then I found an article in The Independent written by Jody McIntyren, in which he writes:

‘’It is a sign of the deep-seated inequalities in our society, that the wedding of one couple is lauded over by the entire media, whilst so many family relationships struggle under the strain of daily life.  As hip-hop artist and political activist Lowkey posted on his Twitter account this week, “How would you explain the concept of a monarchy to an alien?”  The question got me thinking.’’

He describes the way the propaganda works:

‘’We have one family who are born into automatic privilege and wealth, and who symbolise the exploitation of empire and colonialism for millions of people around the world.  We are taught that this one family of human beings represent our great British traditions and more importantly, represent us.  They represent us in their huge palaces, whilst we live in council estates and work all day every day to make ends meet.  When one of them gets married, thousands of other people fly in from around the world to take photographs and write about it, and everyone in the country is encouraged to have parties, stick up flags and join in the hysteria.  Guests are invited from all the repressive regimes you can think of… unless, of course, we happen to be bombing the country at the present time, as is the case of Libya, or if we happen to be weighing up the pros and cons of further military intervention, as is the case of Syria.  I hope the Bahraini ambassador is sitting comfortably at the royal wedding, happy with the news that four pro-democracy demonstrators were recently sentenced to death in his country.’’

He also writes that we are not as free as we think:

‘’In the latest step towards the increasingly Orwellian police state we find ourselves living in, the police seem to have used the occasion of the royal wedding as a kind of ‘free-for-all’.  Special powers granted for the day mean that any pro-democracy activists attempting to demonstrate can be arrested and removed immediately.  Not only that, but the preceding week has seen police conducting raids on social centres and housing up and down the country, with “stolen goods” being cited as one of the reasons.’’

There are always seemingly plausible reasons given to excuse heavy handed police tactics.

Jody writes that:

‘’Incredibly, when fanatical Muslims Against Crusades and English Defence League threatened to demonstrate, the police initially said they were in negotiations with the two groups.  On the other hand, when an individual man handed in a legitimate application at Hackney police station to hold a peaceful demonstration along the route, he was described to the media by the police as “Middle Eastern”, provoking immediate retaliatory rhetoric from the EDL, despite no factual basis to the claim.  Other pro-democracy activists have been arrested at their homes in “pre-emptive strikes”; why would you be arrested for intending to peacefully demonstrate your political belief in democratic rule rather than monarchical rule in a democratic society?’’

Jody describes how the police/courts have treated students demonstrating peacefully as these have been:

‘’Earlier this week, several students were charged for taking part in the student demonstrations, including Alfie Meadows, who was charged with violent disorder.  The name struck a particular chord, because I immediately remembered the photographs of Mr. Meadows lying in hospital after the injuries he sustained at the demonstration.  Alfie needed emergency brain surgery to save his life.  All of the students charged this week were banned from entering the City of Westminster, where the royal wedding is taking place, for a period of five days.  No trial or sentencing necessary.  Just enough time for a nice ceremony without those pesky troublemakers getting in the way.’’

He finishes his article by summing up:

‘’I wonder if Alfie Meadows had died from his injuries, would he still have been charged with violent disorder?  I wonder how many police commanders have been charged for sanctioning the use of “kettling”, which has since been ruled illegal by the high court?  I wonder how many police officers have been prosecuted for charging into crowds of children whilst mounted on horses; something they initially denied, even when I had seen it with my own eyes – shortly after I was dragged out of my wheelchair by police officers – and continued to deny right up until video footage had been released showing exactly that.  I wonder how many police officers will be charged for the batons I saw them using to beat the students they are now prosecuting for violent disorder?

Of course, none of them will be charged.  Maybe they can beat us with batons, maybe they can arrest people for ideas rather than crimes, but they can never force us to accept an ideology of supremacy.’’

They call this freedom & democracy, thank you Jody McIntyre for a thought provoking article.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

No Wedding Invitation For Syrian Ambassador.

Vincent Castiglia
I had a big shock this morning hearing that the Syrian ambassador has received an invitation to attend the Royal Wedding tomorrow.

This was announced in a program at 10.00, I wonder if the telephone line to the relevant government department had many ringing in to object as BBC radio  5, just announced the invitation has been withdrawn now.

Richie says he heard on the BBC, that William Hague, the Foreign Secretary read about the invitation this morning, he then decided that issuing this invitation was too embarrassing. 

For once I agree with him, would be odd to be publicly calling Syria a rogue state for killing the Syrian people.

Condemning these murders, which it is, as that is their plan, to kill as many as they need to, in order to intimidate the rest into silence and acquiescence.

Many more murders occurred, after President Bashar al-Assad suspended the 48 year state emergency/martial law, which forbade any dissent, it effectively discourages freedom of thought/expression.

In 1982 they murdered 30,000 in order to stifle protests from people against the repressive regime.

Just heard from Richie that 20 leading members of the ruling Ba’ath party have resigned in disgust at the killings.

I hope that the leading members of the Ba’ath Party resigning from the government will have a positive effect; the best outcome would be for Bashar al-Assad to step down immediately.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Assistive Software.

Bridget Bate Tichenor.

Today I had a very good appointment with my occupational therapist and Herman from HES, finally had a demonstration of Brainfingers.

It was very interesting to see how it worked; basically it reacted to eyebrows being lifted, my chin moving, even just clenching my jaw.

Also to laughing or other emotions such as visualisation or eye movements, did not get to writing or moving between applications.

Herman got me to do various exercises, play some games, he reckoned that I did well, nice to hear, mind you I could not see that myself.

Text gets entered using an application called Dasher, which is free & available on the internet

When I found information about Dasher on the internet, in the second link, I found out abut an application called Gaze tracker which can be used with Dasher.

This is a low cost, open source eye tracking device, it looks very interesting and I can’t wait to try it out.

Herman will be back to show me another eye tracking software called Seetech, which I am looking forward to trying out.

It was an interesting appointment this afternoon, it has made me feel more relaxed, knowing that there is so much assistive software available.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Wedding Jamboree And Murder In Syria..

Aurelio Suarez.

More extremely disturbing news on the TV as well as radio about the continuing killing of Syrian people.

With no sign of outside intervention, to stop the murder of people wanting a say in their lives, freedom of self determination.

The BBC radio and TV are concentrating on the royal wedding, not just the one coming next Friday, when they promise all day coverage from 08.00 in the morning.

They have spent hours on all royal weddings of the past; today was all about the last one in 1981.

When not discussing this, there have been endless TV programs about wedding cakes & clothes.

The BBC is doing their best to makes as much propaganda for this event as possible.

It is being sold as an ordinary wedding, something everyone can take part in, which is not true.

This is pure vicarious enjoyment; the only way people in the UK are taking part is in paying for it.

Nothing like this jamboree, to distract people from the recession, the thousands of job losses, homelessness and vicious cuts to public services.

Never mind all that, forget that, forget ruthless dictators murdering people, the EU won’t even impose sanctions as it imports so much to Syria.

Never mind all that, never mind the inhumanity lets all enjoy the royal parasites wedding.

Monday, April 25, 2011

A Thin Veneer.

Chess, 2002.
Dmitri Zajtsev.
Russian Surrealist Artist.

Seeing the unknown man in Syria being so cold bloodily killed on the Dutch TV news, last night was horrible.

Made me think again about democracy, and what a thin veneer it is, scratch the surface and what do you find.

In Egypt the people rose up in January, protested and overthrew the 30 year dictatorship of President Mubarak.

Mubarak took over when Awar Sadat, who became president in 1970 when Gamal Abdel Nassar died of a heart attack, was assassinated in 1981.

Sadat and Nasser were part of a bloodless coup of officers, which overthrew the corrupt monarchy of King Farouk in 1952.

King Farouk came from a dynasty that ruled Egypt and Sudan from 1805 until he was overthrown.

When Mubarak took over in 1981 he, like others, before him claimed to want to get rid of corruption and ended up as corrupt as all leaders become,

The people of Egypt have not known freedom for hundreds of years; they have either had a corrupt succession of kings or corrupt presidents who imposed martial law.

Now they want to decide for themselves, I hope that they will not be too disappointed by democracy, which is basically the same people taking turns.

Government by the people sounds good, but it seems to me that it is more of a slogan than a reality.

Every four years or so, the democratic countries have an election, people vote and a new government gets installed and everything carries on as before.

The real interest of the people are not served, what is being served are the interests of big business and the wealthy elites.

We do not really need any governments all we need is cooperation between people; governments do not do any work or produce wealth that is what the working people do.

If we here in the west were also, to wake up to this reality and try and get rid of all the ‘’parasites’ that live of our work/efforts.

Then we would see that thin veneer of democracy vanish and the armies would be ordered out onto the streets and we too would be getting shot for daring to want to be free.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

So much for human rights.

Syrian Tank.

Today has been a relaxed day; we both slept quite soundly, both
with help of a sleeping tablet.

Something I have never known Richie to do before, not surprised, actually rather pleased, as he desperately needed a good nights sleep.

We were both awake at around 10 this morning, not long after Richie did my leg massage plus exercises, he then surprised me with a big Easter egg.

I was nice to take it easy enjoyable to wake feeling so refreshed after a good nights sleep.

After watching most of the Celtic v Rangers football match, Richie gave me a shower.

Then he got me dressed, perfumed just as we were discussing jewellery the door bell rang.

It was our good friend Christoph, it was lovely to see him and looking so well too.

We met in 2003 when I worked at a Sykes call centre, on the Verio Helpdesk, helping customers with their website problems.

Good to see him, Christoph and I drank some prosecco, we all ate polish chocolates that he brought for us plus small Easter eggs Richie had bought.

After Christoph left, Richie made delicious spinach/ feta quiche, salad, fried potatoes, I ate a bowl of homemade strawberry ice-cream.

Later on we watched Dutch news, and saw shocking images of people being killed by Syrian security forces.

One man covered in blood was running shouting the bastards are killing us and they killed him, shot him dead.

Shocking pictures, I was in floods of tears, we talked about it, I wondered whether the UN would take action.

Seems they won’t, as they rather do business with the devil they know, who knows who would take over.

Bahrain they won’t do anything as they are friends of the Saudi’s, plus the American fleet uses their harbour, an important strategic port near Iran.

Yemen is also friends of the Saudi’s, Tunisia has no oil and the government resigned in disgust, so nothing to do there.

So never mind they call these countries rogue states, the UN will not do anything to stop the murder of their citizens, unless they have oil.

So much for human rights.


Saturday, April 23, 2011

Saturday Out In The Sunshine.

Leonor Fini.

Beautiful day today, warm for the 23rd of April, it was 24 degrees in the apartment, outside it felt like 26 degrees.

I hope this summer will be warm, not like last year when it was, briefly just as lovely from 25 April until 20.00 on the 29th.

Sadly after that apart from 10 days, at the beginning of July during the 2010 World Cup it was a cold, wet summer.

It does not need to be boiling hot, in fact for me if the temperature were to stay like this I would be happy.

After a shower, Richie dressed, perfumed and put on necklace, earrings plus rings of my choice.

We went out, this time Richie did most of the steering, when I could I steered but when I could do no more, Richie took over.

Getting out is more important to me now, than whether I can be independent and steer myself.

Of course I wish that I could, would rather be more independent, I used to enjoy steering myself.

This disease has been a huge learning curve, for both of us; we are learning to adapt everyday, this afternoon we enjoyed each others company, and the bustle of the market.

Friday, April 22, 2011

I still apologize.

Lenor Fini.
Today was a pleasant warm day, the dogs were happy, so was I because the sun was shining.

Richie went off to get the shopping, so we can go out tomorrow and enjoy the market.

Just after Richie got back I started to feel uncomfortable and asked to go to the bathroom.

Sadly the action of having the straps from the hoist put around me, laying me down, then sitting me up again caused me to start crapping.

Luckily Richie got me out of bed and over the toilet before anything much happened, amazing how we are getting used to this happening.

I still apologized to Richie, funny that because I can not do anything about this happening.

After a shower/grooming session I felt restored, Richie put my favourite colourful summer trousers, as well a pretty blue t-shirt on me.

Also pretty multicoloured Swarovski crystal earrings, a glittering necklace, one red & three purple rings.

After taking baclofen tablets, eating bread with delicious soft goat cheese, Richie got my laptop, before he took the dogs for a run.

Suddenly after 1 hour the laptop screen went black, the laptop went off, I tried to switch it back on, sadly it did not.

Hours later I tried again and my laptop is functioning now, I am so glad really thought that was it.


Thursday, April 21, 2011

Relaxed Thursday

Dianna, 1977.
Mimi Parent.

Took it easy today, after being so very upset because of my hands, arms being so weak.

My laptop problems upset me even more; the thought of no computer, no internet, and no blog was not good.

As well as no connection to my dear blog friends, no connection with the world.

I need to feel like I can make a contribution, write my blog and share experiences with other people.

Amazing to think people in 147 countries read my blog and I can read many blogs around the world too.

What a nasty thought and worse what an unpleasant reality if I could not do that anymore.

I was so scared my laptop was ‘dying’ so worried I could not think, my mind went blank.

Then the message about disk space on D came up so I emptied it and problem solved.

That gave me a huge boost, feeling I could do something, could solve the problem.

Feeling I can make a difference, even a small one is so important right now for me.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

What A Day.

Negative of X-Ray of Meret Oppenheim’s Skull, 1964
Meret Openheimer.

What a day, Richie went to the dentist for a check up; he had to have a temporary filling.

Then to the doctors, nothing serious, just very unpleasant, he has a skin infection on the soles of his feet that has been driving him mad.

My poor darling, being in discomfort these last couple of weeks, I hope the medicine helps him very soon.

While Richie was gone, I was listening to the radio, answering my e-mails, while reassuring Cyril that Richie would be back.

I thought that I had sorted my laptop problems yesterday, sadly not, everything took ages.

It kept freezing; when Richie went to the chemist my screen went black, at my 5th attempt it started up again.

I got a message that there was only a tiny bit of space on drive D, really worrying, drive D stores my back ups.

Was shocking to see in D that 9 back ups had been made on the 18th April, I right clicked, clicked on format, after stopping automatic back ups.

Then I put the format back to the default setting which emptied the drive then did a back up.

I also changed settings to monthly instead of weekly, it worked, I am happy.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Emotional Tuesday.


Le Cirque.
Jacqueline Lamba.
An emotional day today, my hands and especially my arms are getting so much weaker now, I can hardly lift them.

I started crying towards the end of my shower, Richie asked me why and when I sobbed, because I think I may not be alive for much longer.

He said all the more reason to enjoy life now, I also sobbed don’t let them take me away and he said he never would.

I said but what about when my arms stop working and I can’t put my arm up for you to dress me, he said I will find a way.   

What a good friend Richie is, I really love him so very much, he makes my life so much better, especially now.

His words tonight have made me feel better, the residual sadness and pain is still there but do not have the upper hand.

That has been replaced by being reassured again of Richie’s total commitment to support and care for me.

I feel very comforted by his words and by the love we have for each other, which nothing, not even this horrible roller coaster MS progression has changed.

I feel very fortunate to have met such a wonderful man as Richie in April 1989, pretty much when I thought that I would not meet my soul mate, I was wrong and I am glad that I was.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Sunny Monday.

Marleen and Cyril.Sunny Monday.
After my physiotherapy session with Mathilde, I had an appointment with an adviser from the council.

From an organisation called Mozaak, she was here to have a look at the apartment and me, to see whether I qualified for airco.

She left after an hour; I am none the wiser what the decision will be, as she did not give me even the tiniest clue.

Really hope that the Mozaak will let me know as soon as possible what the answer will be, hopefully before it gets hot.

I shall have to wait and see, more patience, what an expert I have become in the last years, in being patient.

I even have to be patient with my laptop, which keeps freezing every time I try to do something.

Even just opening a mail or a word document or moving between both or scrolling up and down in my mailbox or word document.

Richie had a frustrating few hours trying to see what has caused these problems; he tried to make a backup of my profile.

This did not work out as the laptop kept freezing, so no backup, which was very annoying as Richie had spent ages trying.

He discovered a couple thousand old mails of mine, which I had long deleted but for some reason were still there.

I hope that we can sort this out, and I hope that it will start again tomorrow, my nightmare is that it won’t, horrible thought no laptop, no blog.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Sunny Sunday.

Beautiful sunny, warm day, both of us slept until midday, then Richie was busy for most of the afternoon.

I did not get out; the windows were open to enjoy the warm weather, which makes me hopeful.

Looking forward to going out without so many clothes, that will be very nice, I can’t wait.

Sadly Bolton were beaten 5-0 by Stoke, so it will be Manchester City v Stoke for the FA Cup final in May.

Now I shall not indulge in more speculations, certainly, not now I just saw Arsenal draw with Liverpool.

Going to ask a friend to help me get the paperwork sorted out for our tax returns, once that is done I can relax.

I organised a couple copies of two documents, we need in order to have all the paperwork ready to send to an acquaintance, that does our tax.

Good to have someone you know doing this, funny to think we met in the early eighties when we were squatters.

Now he does all the tax returns for many other ex-squatters, they may have passed anti squatting laws now.

That will not stop people, when there are once again so many homeless people, and so many empty houses/offices as a result of the economic crisis.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Cold Grey Saturday.

The Fountain, 1945.
Emmy Bridgewater.
Today was a cold, grey unpleasant looking day; somehow we were too relaxed and did not notice the time.

By the time I was ready, we were too late for the market, this did not stop me from putting on my new ankle boots.

Nice to get dressed up, even to sit in the front room with Richie to watch the FA semi final, between Manchester United and Manchester City.

It was quite a game, in the second half Manchester City scored and managed to stop Manchester United from scoring.

Manchester City won by one goal, Alec Ferguson, the Manchester United manager looked like his face had turned to stone, which was hilarious.

Tomorrow is the second semi final between Stoke and Bolton; I hope Owen Coyle’s Bolton wins.

 Great, if Bolton then went on to win the final, which would be brilliant for them, nice to see one of the smaller teams win the FA Cup.

I am looking forward to the game tomorrow; hope I will be able to watch it without getting too nervous.

Next weekend is Easter, the weather I hope will get better again and I can look forward to trips out in warm weather.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Fun Friday.

Necessary Bandages, 1942.
Emmy Bridgewater.
Today the post brought two parcels; one contained a pair of high heeled black patent platform ankle boots that I bid for on EBay for 4, 45 pounds.

Never had shoes like these, the heels are 11 cm high, I can hardly imagine me in heels like that.

Tomorrow I will try them out, when we go out to the market, which will be good fun, almost need shiny trousers to go with them.

The second parcel contained 9 small packets of tamarind balls, made in Couva, Trinidad from Trini Food com

A wonderful taste of home, Trini tamarind balls, nice to taste them again, Richie’s are excellent, I just wanted ones from Trinidad for one time.

My father was born in Couva, so it was funny to click on them and find out that was where they came from.

The later on the postman called again, this time with a vintage poster of the film The Attack of the 50 Foot Woman.

Great fun Richie stuck it on the bathroom door, which has totally changed how that room looks.

Nice to be surprised by all three parcels arriving on the same morning, really enjoyed Richie opening them, it was fun.


Thursday, April 14, 2011

Relaxing Day Despite The Stress.

Nightwork Is About To Commence, 1943.

Emmy Bridgewater.
Today was a relaxing day, despite problems such as a stiff painful elbow and right arm.

Also problems, with the new version of Firefox web browser, the big shock was that the settings had changed.

Suddenly no refresh button, no zoom and various other annoying things, which I hope to sort out later.

First I will listen to the radio, then do some more trouble shooting, hope that I can keep calm, something that I did not manage earlier.

Saw Mathilde, my wonderful physiotherapist this afternoon, I tried my best to stretch my right arm without success.

Feeling my right arm getting so painfully stiff and getting worse every day is upsetting me.

Guess all I can do, is what I do, which is to try to keep positive, make the best of my life.

Sometimes this is extremely difficult to do, this afternoon I had a moment of despair, everything got to me.

Luckily Richie returned with dogs, from the park, we listened to the Archer’s radio program, then Richie put me back to bed at my request, after sitting for over six hours..

After some delicious food, I feel so much better now, writing my post has helped.

As it usually does, it puts everything into perspective for me and helps me carry on.


Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Small Things Make Life Pleasant.

Cyril and his beloved duck.
Today has been a sunny day with an extremely cold wind, which Richie told me, was unpleasant.

Instead of going out me had my hair cut by Richie, funny how getting my hair cut always cheers me up so much.

Tomorrow Richie will henna my hair, which will make me happier than I am today with my haircut.

It is small things which make my life pleasant these days, important to plan in as many of those as possible.

Today I had my first Dutch request to join an MS platform, the website is owned by Merck Serono.

I thanked her, for the kind offer, but said I preferred my independence and was not interested in getting huge numbers of people visiting my blog.

Also, I do not want to in any way give pharmaceutical companies any credibility, by allowing them to use my blog on their websites.

They need that credibility to make them look good, shame they do not spend their time and money on finding the cause of MS.

That would improve their image, but I guess it would kill their cash cow, which is what they are all about; they are just drug dealers, just not the ones arrested by police.                     

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

There Is No Shame, Blame Or Any Embarrassment.

New York, 1936.
Peter Purves Smith.

Last night was really horrible, not being able to sit well in bed; difficult to type totally slumped over to the left.

At one point I was practically lying on my left side, this was when I had to get Richie’s help to copy/paste my post into my blog.

I could not find a picture or even write the title, so left it until today when I could sit better.

It turned out, that the reason that I could not maintain a good sitting position was because I needed to go to the toilet.

Full bowels stopped me sitting well, something that I would never have experienced before MS.

Multiple Sclerosis is a strange disease, it really does change so much, in ways I could not have ever imagined.

Being so handicapped means I have had to come to terms with many things as well as many changes.

Shame and embarrassment are two things I have had to stop feeling, difficult not to feel bad about crapping in bed.

It is not in my control, I can’t do anything to stop it happening, if I could I would, which is how come there is no shame, blame or any embarrassment.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Monday In April.

The Pleading Butcher. 1948.
Peter Purves Smith.
It was another lovely sunny day today, which was lovely to see out of the window, great for my sense of well being.

My physiotherapy session with the lovely Mathilde wa good, despite the fact that my right arm was painfully stiff.

Really difficult to stretch my arm out to touch my head as my elbow can’t bend or allow my arm to go higher than my nose.

Doing that is a huge effort for me, the second time we did that, I only just managed to touch my nose.

After the session I was exhausted, a sandwich and a fruit shake really helped me to feel better

This evening Angela, a good friend from  England phoned me, it was good to catch up with her life, which sounded hectic.

We met at Hillcroft College in 1991, when I returned to full time education, at the age of 40, she was only 22

The age difference, didn’t stop us becoming best friends, we just clicked, meeting each other was one of the best things to happen at Hillcroft.

Tonight has been dreadful, I can not sit well ant typing is painfully difficult, almost impossible, hope  Ican post this.                    




A Boost To My Confidence.

Surrealist Landscape 1938.
Peter Purves Smith.
Today I did not go further than the front room, as I am tired after yesterdays outing.

Plus staying up very late, to watch the football, Match of the Day and the Football League show.

It is great sitting here looking out on to a sunny street; it is nearly 19.30 now and t s still bright and light outside.

 Spring is really here and it is lovely to see it and to go out in the sunshine and feel the air on my skin after spending so much time inside.

The other thing I am enjoying is getting new clothes, shoes and jewellery and having fun wearing them too.

I do that even if I am not going out, realise now that doing this is very important for myself.

Being interested in my appearance, means that I am not depressed, it also means I understand how important it is for my self esteem.

When I had to spend so much time in bed it was difficult for me to take any pride in my appearance.

Right now I am more than making up for that and thoroughly enjoying myself; it gives me such a big boost to my confidence.


Saturday, April 09, 2011

Saturday At The Market.

The Diplomat.1939.
Peter Purves Smith.

Today was a beautiful sunny, warm day, except for the very cold wind which was horrible for me.

I almost wanted to go back home, luckily there was sun on the other side, so Richie suggested we cross to the sunny side.

Once we were in the sun, everything felt better, my muscles no longer felt painfully stiff as they did when we first got outside.

Richie took over the controls until we got to the market, then I rolled around quite happily looking at all the stalls.

It was great fun, even got one of the stall holders to sing abit of an Andre Hazes song for me which was good fun.

The people running the Greek stall greeted us warmly, we bought various delicious salads, olives and filled peppers.

I thoroughly enjoyed being on the market, being part of it all was good it gave me a huge boost that has lifted my spirits.

When we left the market I managed to steer the wheelchair, until we got to where we needed to cross, then I asked Richie to take over.

A good outing which we both enjoyed, we also enjoyed eating the Greek delicacies for our tea.



Friday, April 08, 2011

A Sunny Friday In April.

The Pond.
Peter Purves Smith.

Beautiful sunny Friday, just the start of the afternoon now and I hope it is getting warmer too.

Should be 23 degrees tomorrow and Sunday which if true will be nice to go out in.

Looking forward to going out over this weekend and feel the sun on my face, which will be so good to feel.

Especially as my skin has got dry, flaky from lack of sun and air on my face, the sun this weekend should help me lots.

Before I have a shower I want to find a green rubber duck for Cyril, as his favourite toy is pretty much wrecked now.

I shall also look for tie dye t –shirts for myself and black trousers for Richie, hope I find a green duck for Cyril as he sleeps with it.

The duck is his security blanket, he gets it before he jumps up on Richie’s bed, and he won’t go until he finds it.

Looking forward to getting my finery on and being out in the sunshine with my darling Richie.

He has gone off to do the shopping now, so we can enjoy going out tomorrow just for fun, I can hardly wait for tomorrow.