We got woken up again this morning by the bottle bank being emptied with a huge crash around 8 am this morning.

But at least we have one day, tomorrow when we don't get shocked awake by a glass container being tipped into a lorry as we did at 7.30 last week on Easter Sunday.

My arms were giving me hell this morning, every time I yawned or tried to adjust my position my arms would go rigid and clamped up.

Doing the arm exercises are the way I can get my arms flexible again, so did my exercises making sure that I did not moan or squeak too much because of the pain.

Richie then massaged my legs as he does every morning and then I took the baclofen tablets and some THC vapour and could get on with the day.

All the effects of the THC go to pain relief these days so do not feel stoned like I used to before the MS.

It is very frustrating to be so restricted in my movements, to be so dependant on Richie is very difficult for me.

Sometimes when I am typing and I get so many other letters it can get very frustrating as well as it seems like endless work.

It does make me laugh but of course at times when I am tired it is not what I need and can really lose the plot and start to shout at the software.

What I find very annoying is that I have to be really careful how I yawn or stretch my arms or even laugh as any of these things can cause my arms to cramp up and go rigid which is very painful.

It is very strange that being handicapped would even affect how I express myself, find it difficult that I can not laugh freely, the sound that comes out these days is quite worrying often sounds scary.

No wonder Spike, our black and white Jack Russell gets upset when I laugh and if I do it too long he will start whimpering.

Every now and then when I consider how little I can do the realisation hits me again that I am indeed severely handicapped.

This double take hits me hard and usually has me crying my eyes out.

Really strange that this has happened a few times now as if despite all the pain and being so handicapped I do not want to accept this is how my life is.