It's A Shocker.

Bryan Charnley.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bryan_Charnley

Woke up in lots of discomfort this morning, Richie discovered there had been a tiny kink in my catheter tube, which began to flow after he had moved my position.

After that was successfully resolved and my catheter bag filled up I found that I could do my arm exercises much easier than yesterday.

Brilliant noticing that it’s easier today, better than only noticing progression of my MS.

Listing all the things that are no longer possible for me to do is a pointless task, it only causes depression.

This is a symptom with MS, and no wonder it’s depressing, its not easy to be diagnosed with an incurable disease.

The odd thing is that despite knowing it was incurable I still was shocked to find there was really no cure.

Very strange to know and yet be so shocked, be left feeling so bereft, I wonder if others have felt the same way.

I think that I can’t be the only one, I am sure others will recognise how I feel knowing its incurable, so there is no chance of getting better.

That is the real shocker that I can’t get better and nobody gets better, that can’t be right, not after being told everything can be fixed, to finding out this was not possible.

An incredible breakthrough

Pablo Picasso, Three Musicians (1921),
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pablo_Picasso

Cyril is coming along very well; he seems to be coming out of his depression now, which is so very good to see.

Since last Saturday he has been able to play the tug game with Richie, which he became too scared to do.

First thing when Richie came back from the shop, with new toys for the dogs, Cyril was keen to play the tugging game.

But somehow he shocked himself by all the growling he was doing while holding onto the tug.

It worried him so much that he could not go on anymore; it also made him very nervous and worried about any contact.

In the evening he finally allowed Richie to stroke him ands enjoyed being cuddled, then Marleen demanded a game with her tug.

Cyril watched fascinated but very worried, when they were finished, he went over to the tug Marleen had discarded and sniffed it extensively.

Then he returned to his bed and crawled with a huge effort under his blanket, only to jump out again as soon as he was covered up.

He walked up to the tug, picked it up and walked straight up to Richie and thrust it at him and demanded a game.

An incredible breakthrough for a clever little dog, Cyril is a real sweet dog, we are looking forward to seeing him getting even fitter and happier  

Happy Dogs.

 
Cyril.

I am going to take it very easy today; I am starting to get better slowly from this very nasty influenza.

But I have to be extra careful right now that I do not overdo things, which is so easily done.

I also have new lenses in my spectacles which need getting used to, over a few days so as not to tire my eyes.

Richie is also recovering; he has just taken the dogs to the park, which news was greeted with happy barking from the dogs.

Marleen and Cyril are getting very friendly and enjoy each others company very much, which is lovely to see.

Cyril seems to like it here, he is putting on weight and muscle, and he likes his new routine and us and especially Marleen’s company.

So glad we took Cyril and have given him a new life, one that he seems to shave needed desperately.

Good to see him slowly coming out of his depression and getting happy here with us.

  

We have our good friends from Wales, Gareth and Paul visiting us later, they are in Amsterdam for a quick visit, looking forward to seeing them later this evening.

Edmonton, Canada.


Chose for life or not.

Perspective is very important now my options are limited. Do I get on with it and make the best of everything and enjoy what there is to enjoy

Or do I remove myself and don't get on with it and don't make the best of it and therefore don't see what is there to enjoy?

The options are either be positive or chose for negative and therefore not for life.

Despite it being hard living with the quick progression of the MS for me its clear that I had no choice but to chose for being positive; the other option was not good.

When I had to stay in bed realised I could cry and howl against it and get Richie and myself depressed or I could chose to acknowledge all the good things like our love for each other.

I made the choice that is best for us and for me, the correct choice for us, that was to chose for us.

Simple there was no other option that was viable.

Did not want to get sad and take everything down with me and get depressed that is not my choice

It’s the classic half full or half empty glass I chose to see a half full glass and to enjoy the party.

Don’t want to stop participating before I have to, want to enjoy all I can and there is more than I thought.

I owe myself more than sadness because I deserve joy and so does darling Richie and all our friends and family.