A Good Day.

La Cene,1950.
Gaston Chaissc.
France 1910-1964

Feeling happier today, not been made so aware of my mortality, as I have been alot lately, morbid thoughts that I don’t like.

Ones, that I have been having too often, since my right arm has become so much weaker, which has worried me so very much wondering how things will be.

 Richie will manage, that helps some but does not take away my worries, I cope by trying to stop my thoughts, shame they keep popping back up.

Luckily I had a break today, nice to not be bothered even if only for one day, this afternoon cheered me up, Richie trimmed my toe, fingernails as well as cutting my hair.

 Now I feel restored, I always do after a haircut and getting my nails done too was brilliant, then I got called by Maurits, to tell me he had made an appointment on 28 October

It’s with a company who make various types of support, I found the company, Aquarius, yesterday when I surfed the web, and I hope it’s a good appointment.

Then Marianne came round with some clothes she had altered for me, she also took some more with her, brilliant thanks to her and Anja I now have more clothes to choose from.

My favourite little black jacket Richie slipped on right away for me, the first time I have been able to wear it in years nice for Marianne to see how simple it was for Richie to put on me.

I looked, felt so much better, having my clothes adapted has given me a huge much needed boost, I can once again look how I want, like myself.

This Wait Will Be Well Worth It.

 
 The City.
Alisdair Gray.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alasdair_Gray

After only rainy cool, overcast days since Tuesday, it was wonderful to get such a warm, dry day as yesterday.

It was a bonus going out in my tee-shirt with no need for a jacket, every time that I can do that this month will be an enjoyable bonus.

I asked two lovely friends who can sew and have sewing machines if they could help out, by altering some clothes.  

Anja came by just now to collect a big plastic bag full of trousers and tops that she will adapt for me to wear.

Another friend Marianne will come by tomorrow and take away another bag of zipped tops and trousers.

When I get them back, it will feel like several Christmases and birthdays have all happened at once.

I am feeling pretty bucked up by this, really looking forward  to wearing clothes that have been impossible for me to wear since early 2007.

A lovely perspective for me to look forward to wearing favourites once more, brilliant to get back some pride in my appearance.

I will have to wait yet again, this wait will be well worth it, but I will be counting the days until I can wear my clothes

Pride And Self Esteem Are Important.

 
Vilhelm Bjerke Petersen.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vilhelm_Bjerke-Petersen

Richie’s idea about adapting my clothes has already revolutionised my life; it has not only made it easier to put on and take off clothes.

It has also given me pride in my appearance again, which was very patchy, almost non-existent these past 4 years since I can no longer stand to get dressed.

This has been made worse by losing the muscles in my torso, due to being in bed for so long while my pressure sore healed.

Standing up is important in order to get clothes hanging and sitting well, not being able to do that means looking quite dreadful, like a sack of potatoes, despite Richie’s best efforts.

Having no muscles means I can’t sit up, so my midriff does not get stretched at all, it is compressed, so it looks like I have a pot belly and I don’t have one.

Not having Richie wrestling to get garments on and off will be easier for both of us, and it is great to look well presented again.

Pride in my appearance, gives me a lot of confidence, which helps my self esteem, and allows me to feel like a woman and not just like a severely handicapped invalid.

Before my diagnosis I was well dressed and presented, always wore well fitted trousers, I never wore jogging trousers unless I was jogging.

Since 2007 I have only been wearing baggy elasticated trousers, I have not wanted to see myself in the mirror, now I can look again, I no longer dread how I look and I can be proud once more of my appearance.