Just realised that I have been putting off doing a new post til I had something extraordinary to say.
Keep thinking that I have got out of some old patterns and then bingo I am doing it again!
Why can't I just drop all that perfectionist shit and concentrate on the things that are important to me now like my blog. Like new posts about how I am and what I have been doing.
Notice that I have not mentioned how my body is recently, guess that I am trying to not think about it, trying not to worry.
And it seems to be working which is good as it means that the other old habit of worrying about things before they happen is not happening.
The other reason that I am not posting is that it's quite alot of work using the keyboard with hands that won't do what I want them to.
Have lost coordination and sensitivity in my fingers which has had me quite upset and angry at times. And has made me rant and rave and swear alot until I realised that it was all directed at my hands!
Speaking is easier than typing for me now, mind you in two months I should be getting a headmouse and software for an on screen keyboard.
Works in conjunction with a tiny sticker on my glasses that operates the headmouse, which is like a webcam.
Have to learn how to use the onscreen keyboard that has to be better than one fingertip typing and being constantly frustrated.
Really looking forward to the headmouse arriving and hope that I don't expect myself to be an expert within minutes like I do with everything.
Oh well that's perfectionists for you!!