Monday, May 31, 2010

Every Moment Is Precious.

Art Deco.

Yesterday had a moment of panic as I thought that I had mistakenly deleted a post, found out that I had not done so.

What I had done on my Dutch blog was put two posts on the same day, in the not so distant past I would have freaked out and been convinced that I had totally made a mess of everything.

Was so pleased with myself for not getting in a huge panic and getting myself all upset for nothing really.

Instead I opened a mail and scrolled down to check on my posts, made a list of the days and the titles and soon could see that they were all there.

So no harm done which made me even happier that I had not had one of those panic stricken meltdown.

Good to see and feel the benefits from staying calm, have been noticing that this has been happening quite often recently.

Instead of getting into a huge flap, I have managed to be calm and things have been sorted without tears ands sorted out much quicker too.

Sunday was not the day that I had expected as it rained most of the day, at one point it was torrential rain coming straight down as there was no wind.

Towards the end of the afternoon it got dry and it was briefly warm enough to open the window which was very pleasant.

Decided to go and visit some other blogs, was reading quite happily until I visited

Jane @ A Journey of Another Kind

And read that she has died what a shock as only Friday I read that she was so happy at being home again after yet another stay at hospital.

I guessed from the moment Mort posted about her last year, that she might not have long but it is still a hell of a shock to find how short it was.

Expected to go there and read about Jane being at home again, she was an incredibly brave woman who enjoyed every moment she could.

That is all we can do, I had another look at the video on her blog where she talks of the importance of enjoying all that you can.

She said she felt she had been given extra time and was going to enjoy every minute, feel that my resolve to do just that has been strengthened by hearing Jane’s voice.

Thanks Jane for reminding me again of the importance of making the best and most out of every moment we have.

Light A Candle For Jane.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Tomorrow Is Another Day.

The Glasgow School.

Have been taking it easy today as I am very tired and have not been anywhere, hope to have a different day tomorrow.

Hope the weather will be better tomorrow and the rain will have stopped then.

Some days the news is too depressing, like since the beginning of the week, when police in Bradford, England announced that they were looking for three missing women.

The next announcement was they were holding a man in custody on suspicion of being connected with the women’s disappearance.

Guess like many others when it first was on the news, I hoped that the women would be found safe and well.

Hoped this even as they news came that body parts were found, and yesterday the police confirmed the body parts were of the woman that went missing on Monday.

The man they were holding has now been remanded in custody to prison, on suspicion of murdering one woman and maybe all three women.

The women all had worked as prostitutes and all had drug and alcohol problems, all will be sorely missed by their family and friends.

What makes thus news even worse is the fact that Bradford is the town that Peter Sutcliff terrorised with his brutal murders of thirteen women, some of whom were prostitutes in the 1970’s.

He was known as the Yorkshire Ripper, the recent news has brought all the old traumas back for the town to the surface again.

Still hoping the other two women will be found, but guess that is wishful thinking on my part, especially as they seem to have found more body parts.

At the moment because the sex trade is illegal, the workers can not ask for police protection as then they would be arrested.

If only both the drugs and the sex trade were legalised then both could be controlled, as it stands there are many people working in the sex trade who need both drugs to endure their work.

The only silver linings in this story are that people are being brought together in their disbelief at this horrible news.

Tomorrow is another day hope to roll around then and it is warm and dry.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Dreaming About Wheelchair Adventures To Come

Spiral Art.

Here it is nearly Saturday again; hope the weather will be nice enough for me to venture outside once again.

Looking forward to sitting again, but also feel quite apprehensive too about sitting upright, as every time it is slightly scary.

It feels like I might fall out of the wheelchair, although I know that will not happen it still feels like it could which is worrying.

Find that I can not sit up all in one go, have to either get Richie to go real slow or I take over as soon as Richie has wrestled me, very gently into the wheelchair.

Then I slowly elevate myself until I am sitting upright, at which point it feels better and I can cope with sitting.

Had not realised that sitting again could be quite such a white knuckle ride, hope that as I get to do it more often it will become with time just an ordinary experience.

Somehow though after spending all this time in bed, it’s been in total 21 months since the 21 August when Ton Peeks told me that I would be in bed for two to three weeks.

Two to three weeks bloody hell, if I had know then how long it would be, think that might have been too much even for me.

Would have tried my best to keep as optimistic as possible hope that I could have managed it.

Getting very excited now about sitting in my electric wheelchair but first I guess I will have to sleep first.

Getting very excited now hope I can sleep well and wake up refreshed and ready for my new wheelchair adventure.

Going to be zooming around in my dreams tonight for sure, looking forward to it.

Happy dreaming.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Silver Linings Even in the Strangest of Circumstances.

Joseph William Mallord Turner.

Woke up almost quietly this morning which was rather nice for a change, hate waking up distressed and in pain.

It’s bad enough that it wakes me up, but that it also wakes Richie up to is really shit, I hate that it does.

Wish that I could do something to stop myself making such a racket every morning and waking up my darling Richie.

It was a very pleasant day, Mathilde was here for our Thursday physiotherapy session and Marianne popped by for a cup of tea which was very nice.

Had a pleasant time with her and we chatted about all sorts and both of us felt better at the end of the visit.

After Marianne went I spent time listening to the radio and playing free cell, then I started to feel a tiny bit warm.

When it went from feeling a tiny bit warm to boiling hot I asked Richie to check whether the catheter was working well.

It seemed to be but when Richie laid me down and checked he discovered that it was just slipping out.

Probably happened when I had a huge spasm, at first it was difficult for Richie to pop it back in but he got the catheter back in eventually.

Richie had to get me out of bed again, as a small amount of urine had leaked out, so I was hoisted out of bed for the second time.

Once in the bathroom it became clear that I desperately needed to have more than a pee, it could have been even worse to wake up in the middle of the night in a bed full of urine and crap.

So somehow a misfortune turned into good fortune as we averted something even more unpleasant.

As soon as Richie showered me again and dried and dressed me I felt restored to my former glory.

Once I was returned to bed, we both enjoyed the delicious lasagne my darling had made, I felt 100 times better and could relax and enjoy the evening and my Richie’s company.

Strange that one crisis averted a bigger one; there are always silver linings even in the strangest of circumstances.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Rainbows and Lightning.

Rainbows and Lightning.

The good news is that Ton Peeks was here yesterday and says that I can sit as of Saturday, which is great news.

Looking forward to sitting on the balcony and going around the block and maybe going down to see Willes, be nice to see her apartment.

Be my first time as she moved from upstairs to the ground floor last August and I have not been able to go there being in bed the whole time.

The wheelchair is not finished yet, the new plan, mine is to mail and set up appointment and on Saturday test out where I need the extra lower back support.

Hopefully they can do it next week then I lose it for 3 days and then it is covered and looks better and it is easier to get the hoist straps on me.

If I could have sat last week it would be done by now, hopefully swift action will see it being done by the end of next week.

Just sent an email to my consultant to please fix up an appointment for the wheelchair back and seat to be covered.

Sure she will do her best as I am sure, Michelle would like to tie up all the loose ends on this project asap.

It all started in 2008 but had to stop until 2009 and stopped again in January and in May.

Think we will all be happy when it is done and dusted and I am out and about as much as I can this summer.

Feeling good about this perspective think I will like it very much indeed.

Happiness for me is being mobile this summer.