Thursday, March 31, 2011

Damp Thursday.


La Donna Impudica.
Angel Planells.
Today has been another wet, grey and unpleasant day which we brightened up by talking and laughing, enjoying each others company.

Our 10.00 appointment with RTD Het Dorp was re-routed to 13.00; he got here at 14.10 and was gone at 14.20.

While he was here he did a couple of quick things for me, he added the bell function to the IPaq, so I can call Richie easily, when I need him.

They previously, added that function to a button, that I had to hold down for at least three minutes, that I could not do because of lack of strength.

He explained how the telephone book function worked, which he did not do,
when he put it on the IPaq in January.

Then he was gone before I could remind him to either drill another hole in the Perspex table so the IPaq is closer which I need as I can hardly reach it where it is

Or come up with something to bring the IPaq closer so using it is not the struggle that it is right now.

He also did not do anything to check why the front door keeps opening without us pressing the button to open it; we think he hadn’t a clue.

Oh well, just as I thought another company that supplies aids for the handicapped who do not seem to listen to them or have their needs in mind


Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Rainy Wednesday

Today has been a grey, rainy day which was a shame as the recent sunny days have been rather pleasant.

This afternoon I had an appointment with Annelies, my advisor from the Council’s Disability unit and Percy, Arjan from Welzorg.

To discuss my problems with the joystick on my wheelchair, this requires quite a lot of effort for me to use it.

There is another joystick which requires less effort than the one I have right now which is too much work for me.

Sadly the wheelchair will have to be taken to their workshop near the German border, two hours from here

The wheelchair will be gone for several days, which was not good news as the idea of not being able to sit for days is not acceptable.

 I hope they can do it quicker, say collect it one day and return it to me the next day, but not four days without being able to sit.

Welzorg recently lost their monopoly to supply mobility aids via local councils, in Amsterdam they no longer will supply aids to the Rehabilitation Clinic and other places, which has meant they have had to close their local workshop in Haarlem.

Shame for them, for the loss of many of their lucrative contracts, may be thanks to way they treated their vulnerable customers.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

A Pleasant Shower.

The Declaration.
Edgar Ende.

Today has been another good day; Beenhakker brought the shower chair back at 09.00 instead of 11.00 as had been arranged last week.

 Which was great, what was even better was that the adaptations are very good and extremely useful.

They have covered the cushion in material that is better and easier to use, plus they have put clips on the shower chair to hold the cushion in place.

We tried out the shower chair and the adaptations have made using the chair 100 times better and easier than before.

Less work for Richie and no longer uncomfortable for me, because the cushion is now fastened with four clips instead of tied in just two places.

Because it is now held in place with 4 clips, it does not slip around and I am well supported at last.

Before the adaptation, showers were not a comfortable event because the cushion would slide around and I would end up leaning to the left.

 Richie had to adjust my position constantly as the cushion would never stay in the right place.

He would have to dry and dress me while holding me and trying to pull me back from the left, which was a lot of extra work for Richie.

Today I stayed in one place and had a pleasant shower; Richie had less work to do, all in all a good bit of work by Beenhakker.     

Monday, March 28, 2011

A Good Monday.

Edgar Ende.

Today has been good, getting up at 09.00 was very pleasant indeed and made an enjoyable change for us both, which we liked.

I was sitting in the wheelchair just after 10.30, having been given an invigorating shower by Richie, which I enjoyed tremendously.

The man from Beenhakker was here at 10.40, twenty minutes earlier than we had arranged, so he was very happy the shower chair was waiting for him.

So he could carry on his round without any delay, no wonder he looked so happy, I am sure he often has to often wait, which can muck up his days schedule.

Today started off misty, and then the sun shone until 13.00 when it became cloudy and cold.

Mathilde arrived at 14.00 and I had a good, if somewhat painful physiotherapy session.

Massaging my arms soon stopped the pain and after a good shoulder massage I felt relaxed.           

After Mathilde left we had some lunch, goat cheese, water cress and cucumber and delicious bread, made by Richie using zero-zero flour, the best for making bread.

I thoroughly enjoyed getting up earlier and spending the whole day with Richie, talking and laughing, it was great fun, and we shall be doing this everyday from today.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Sunny Sunday.

Edgar Ende.

After a pretty relaxed week this week, which was very pleasant, especially for Richie who was quite exhausted after my birthday, we will have a busy week next week.

Monday will be an early start, so Beenhakker can collect the shower chair so that they can modify how the cushion is tied on the chair.

Tuesday they bring it back early and we plan to make an early start and go out, that is the plan for the week so I can get out lots when the sun shines.

Wednesday Annelies and Welzorg are here about a better joystick for the wheelchair, Thursday the Home Servant people will be here to fine tune he IPaq and my occupational therapist is here on Friday.
The clocks went forward in the early hours of Sunday morning and very befitting for the first official spring day it is a lovely sunny day today

Richie and the dogs have gone to the park for abit of fun for the dogs, Cyril also hunts and catches flies, just like Marleen, it is comical to see the dogs hunting tiny flies.

I shall be happy when they are back as I am looking forward to a nice shower and clean clothes.

They will not be long now and when they get back both dogs will charge in here to show  me how happy they are.

Then they charge out to see Richie and demand their dinner, lovely to hear them being such happy and relaxed dogs.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Enjoy This Unique Day Now.

The Tethered Storm.

Edgar Ende.

It is a classic Amsterdam Saturday, no sunshine, no blue skies and thick cloud cover.

All week the sun has been shining and the sky wa
s a lovely blue, which made me feel good seeing it.

I feel very sorry for all the working people who had hoped the good weather would also happen at the weekend.

Monday morning could well be a beautiful day, nice to go to work in sunshine, but it does not compensate for nasty weather at the weekend.

Shame that I can’t see sunshine today, which would take my mind off my pain and discomfort.

Right now my arms are as tight as coiled spring and can only be stretched out with great difficulty.

Every day I am woken up with my arms tightly folded over my chest and to prise them apart I need Richie’s help.

Once my arms are prised apart, Richie can get my arms out from under the duvet.

Richie massages my arms, especially my right arm which is the stiffest and most painful.

Despite the lack of sun, I shall do my best to create sunshine in our apartment and be cheerful and positive, and enjoy this unique day now.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Flawed Indviduals.

Remedios Varo.

Today started with blue skies and sunshine, but after midday clouds started to cover the blue sky.

Now it does not seem quite as pretty outside as it was, although the sun is still shining.

Horrible news about a man, an ex taxi driver, who has just been sentenced to 27 years in prison for burglaries and rapes, sexual assaults on old people in their homes, mainly 80 or 90 yr old.

Seems he was doing this for 17 years from 1992 until 2009 when he was arrested, to the people that knew him this has been shocking news.     

As they all knew him as a charming, generous man who in recent years had been the carer of his third wife, who seems to have MS.

The other news item is about a beautiful young woman, Sian O’Callaghan who was last seen leaving a club in Swindon in the early hours last Saturday morning.

Her body has now been found and a taxi driver has been arrested for her murder and another murder.

Truly horrible news of people preying on the vunerable, as children we experiment and learn about life.

We learn about many things, especially how to get along with others and to protect the vunerable.                              

Sadly some people can not do this; they are flawed individuals, like these two men.






Thursday, March 24, 2011

Enjoying This Summer.

Remedios Varo.

I woke up to a lovely sunny day which made me very happy to see the sun and blue skies.

Amazingly it is already a week ago, that it was my 60th birthday, a day that I enjoyed very much, shame it could not last longer.

Richie made it very special for me surprising me with gorgeous rings, bracelets, necklaces and earrings.

I am very amused to be 60, it’s unreal to me, I don’t feel much different than I did at 50 or even 40.

Without MS I would be very content with my life in Amsterdam, going for walks with Richie and the dogs, around this beautiful city.

We so enjoyed strolling in the evenings and going to favourite places, sadly they are no longer accessible to me in a wheelchair.

When I could still hobble, I could manage to hoist myself up the steps and into the coffee shops that we enjoyed visiting.

Looking forward to the warm weather and sitting on the terraces of a couple of our favourite coffee shops.

Both are next to canals and are nice places to relax, I used to love sitting on a terrace watching city life go by.

This summer I am determined to get out and about more and enjoy myself


Permanent Damage To My Muscles.

Remedios Varo.

Today is another beautiful sunny day, so far I have not started to lean to the left yet and have  managed to stay sitting wedged in by a multitude of cushions.

I am not looking forward to the really hot weather when I shall be roasting surrounded by so many cushions.

Looking forward to getting the extra support so that I can sit in a good position in bed, and not be almost lying on my left side.

Horrible feeling, the main problem with being well supported is that moving my arms is much more difficult to do and this makes typing really difficult as I can’t move my elbows.   .

The cushions are pilled up from under my armpits until my ankles, the cushions need to
also keep my knees upright and together, not flopping to either side.

The cushions stop the knees collapsing to both sides, which means that the my feet stay pressed up against the foam block at the end of the bed.

The deterioration in my torso muscles is because I had to stay in bed for so long, in all it was two years.

It took from august 2008 until august 2010 until the huge pressure wound had  completely healed up.
For two years I concentrated on the wound healing, I did not realise the extent of the ;permanent damage to my muscles.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Doing My Best.

Celestial Pablum. 1958.

Remedios Varo.

Yesterday I was not only shocked by the blood clots, but by my constant collapsing in bed and having to keep asking Richie to adjust my position in bed.

Hate the fact that my muscles in my torso are now too weak to keep me upright in bed so that I need many cushions to prop me up.

As well as Richie adjusting me every 5 to 10 minutes, Richie was ok doing that for  me, as many times as I needed.

I hate the fact that no sooner has Richie sat me up well that I immediately start to lean to the left.

This feels so horrible, especially as I can not do anything to alter my position even when I am practically lying on my side.

Not easy to type or do anything when I am slowly sagging to the left, until I have collapsed, I try very hard to stop this happening.

But there is nothing that I can do, and that is something that I really hate, that I am totally powerless to do anything to help myself.

Being able to sit up in bed seems a thing of the past right now, I will be getting a set of cushions, like a sort of cocoon to support me sitting up in bed.

It is another lovely  sunny day which despite feeling so bad  I am doing my best to enjoy though it is not easy.  ..

Monday, March 21, 2011

Spring Equinox

Today is the Spring Equinox and the days are getting longer and spring is really happening now.

This morning started very gently, the sun was shining and it was a very nice spring day.

Then I had a huge shock when Richie hoisted me out of bed and put me into the shower chair, as he had discovered blood in my catheter.

One of my nightmares is blood flowing in the catheter; luckily it turned out to be a blood clot which happens quite often with catheters and not flowing blood.

Still it gave me quite a turn and got me very upset, especially as it was so sunny and lovely.

It was the last thing on my mind, but then again why should it be on my mind especially on a day like today.

I guess that this is always in the back of my mind and how can it be otherwise with this nasty disease.

What I try to do is be aware without thinking about it all the time and letting it drive me mad with worry.

A difficult balancing act but one which I try to do everyday, most days I manage well and I did even today.








Sunday, March 20, 2011

Having A Very Good Weekend

Useless Science. 1955.

Remedios Varo.

The party on Friday was really good fun, really loved seeing everyone, it is so good to see friends.

Made me realise again how we are all so busy with our own lives that we often do not see each other as much as we all might like to.

But that is life, people have to work and work does take up alot of time and energy from everyone.

Great that friends made time at the end of their working week to come here on Friday to celebrate my 60th birthday.

Really did appreciate so very much that they came, so good to be able to see everyone and have such good fun.

Yesterday we were both tired and took it very easy, especially Richie as he had been so busy from early.

We both enjoyed a relaxed day yesterday, we watched the rugby, and football and watched the Football League Show at 11. 30 at night.

Halfway through the Football League Show my eyes started closing and when Richie turned the light off I was asleep pretty quick.

Today has been another peasant relaxing day; Richie has gone to the park with the dogs and will be back soon.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Lovely Seeing Our Good Friends.


Exploration of The Source Of The Orinoco River, 1959.
Remedios Varo.

It was lovely seeing our friends last night everyone, except three, came as promised with lovely food.

Lovely to see our friends here, I do like to see them and it was not only good they were here but great to see them and looking so well too.

A very pleasant evening that all too quickly was over again, we are both happy we did it.

Good to socialise with friends, I think it has given us both an enormous boost which will help us a lot.

We are both feeling very tired today, the last 2 people left after 12.30 and before we knew it was gone 01.07.

Richie took the dogs down the road to the dog toilet and when they got back I did ten minutes on the Motomed, to ease the leg spasms during the night.

Last night I enjoyed half a glass of prosecco and later on a wee glass of Trinidad rum.

Strange how times have changed, some years ago I would have drunk a lot more and be nursing a headache now. 

I guess that is because of the MS, as I can only get a couple of sips before I can not lift the glass at the right angle to drink

Friday, 18, March, 2011. Great 60 th Birthday Party.

Great party tonight everyone just gone it is 01.07 now first time I have not written a post in two years but then again it has never been my 60th birthday before.


Thursday, March 17, 2011

What A Wonderful 60th Birthday..

Red Poppy On A Roof. 1972.
Alvaro Guillot.
Today has been a very good day; it started of by Richie giving me lots of beautifully wrapped presents.

Lovely rings, 5 of them and two necklaces and matching earring and three bracelets, lots of pretty things for me to wear and enjoy.

Great fun, looking forward to wearing them all, nice to have pretty new costume jewellery.

Then Richie got me ready for my physiotherapy session with the lovely Mathilde, who brought me a present, of a little tub of Tamarind balls.

After the physiotherapy session Arden and Rob were back with a beautiful birthday cake from Holtkamp, the best baker in Amsterdam.

Before they left another friend, Toos came by to wish me happy birthday, quite special seeing her today, as she doesn’t like birthdays.

I received lots of lovely ecards and birthday greetings on Face Book; a beautiful orchid was delivered sent by dear friends from Wales.

This evening not long after Richie got me into bed, the phone rang, at first I did not have a clue who it was.

Turned out it was a very old friend of mine whom I had not spoken to for years, the last time I saw him was in 1993, so no wonder I did not recognize his voice.

What a birthday today has been and it is not over yet.


Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Who Needs Them.

Henri Matisse.

Another lovely day here, blue sky and sunshine, it got very cold during the night and especially between 05.00 and 06.00.

Now it is a gorgeous day, sadly not so in many places such as Japan, Bahrain and Libya.

Horrible listening to news of thousands killed in Japan by the earthquake and the resulting Tsunami.

Now there could be terrible destruction and many more deaths, caused by the lunatic decision to have nuclear reactors in a country which has so many earthquakes.

What made them do this, just thinking about this makes me upset, and I can’t believe that the government decided on this policy despite huge protests by the people. 

In Bahrain the King does not want people demanding a say in their lives and standing up for their human rights.

To maintain his parasitical position he has called in his friends from Saudi Arabia to crush the peaceful demonstrations.

They are killing people in ambulances, they have even killed people in the hospitals and they are stopping doctors treating injured people.

In Libya the brutal dictator, Gaddafi does not want to leave despite the majority of people wanting an end to his 42 years in power.

To achieve this he is killing his fellow Libyans with his mercenary army paid for with the oil wealth that he sees as his own.

While he is waging genocide on the people, governments around the world have been having many meetings and discussions as to what to do to stop him.

They have been talking about this for too long now without taking any action to save lives in Libya.

I now believe they will do nothing, so unless something happens soon a million people could be killed in Benghazi.

One way or another it is the people that are paying the price be it because of misguided decisions like Japan’s nuclear plants or tyrants like the King in Bahrain and Gaddafi killing them.

Tuesday, 15, March, 2011. Out And About.

Henri Matisse.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Pleasant Monday.

Mountain Night 1969

Great afternoon today, nice seeing Arden again and meeting her bloke Rob, who is very nice, a really pleasant man.

Brilliant to see Arden looking so happy and well, always good to see a good friend happy and it was excellent to meet Rob.

Really pleased that a chance meeting with Arden in the hairdressers in 2006 has resulted in us becoming friends and still being in touch five years later.

It was lovely sitting in the front room hearing her tales from back home, she tells a good story and it will be great to carry on talking tomorrow when they will be back to see us again.

Very nice to have a different sort of afternoon, pleasant to have people around, probably just me exaggerating, but sometimes I feel I need a refresher course in socialising.

Hate feeling so clumsy, this did not happen today and I am sure no one would have thought I was feeling so self conscious.

 I know that it is all to do with practise, the more people I see the better it is for me, and I guess for both of us.
Good to see friends today, and tomorrow and maybe Wednesday and Thursday too and Friday is my Birthday party.

I am looking forward to every day this week, especially to seeing people here this Friday.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Pleasant Sunday.

Marc Chagall.

A good night’s sleep really made me feel better today, woke up and found Richie and the dogs ready to go out for a long walk in the woods.

As it was only 08.00 I requested THC and slept on until 11.00 when Richie got back with two very happy dogs.

So happy they have been relaxed and quiet apart from the odd bark at a passing dog.

I am feeling much better than yesterday, probably also because Richie cut and hennaed my hair, which feels and looks good.

Tomorrow Arden, a friend from Ft Lauderdale will be visiting; she is here in Amsterdam with her partner for 5 days.

Be great fun to see her again, we met at a hairdresser in 2006 and got talking and have been in touch ever since.  

Arden is a wonderful woman, who I would love to live nearby, be brilliant to have a friend like her close by.

So seeing her as much as possible this week is going to be great fun and such a good laugh, look forward to her stories of her life.

It is also pleasant change from our usual week, where quite often only my physiotherapist visits us.

Saturday, 12, March, 2011. Trying To Cope.

Slept fitfully and had to ask Richie to get me some THC, which helped me get back off to sleep again.

Despite the disturbed night today has been a good day, watched Football and saw Bolton beat Birmingham, then we watched rugby and saw Italy beat France, first time ever.

Later on Wales beat Ireland then had a pleasant shower and sat in the front room with my darling Richie and the dogs.

Richie made some delicious leek and potato soup, which was very good, nice to have soup instead of a big meal.

All in all a relaxing day, sometimes, like today I find myself desperate to do more, how I wish I could do something more than just sit.

Felt very sad that this is it for me, glad I am alive, but wish so much that I could be like everyone else and be oblivious as to what will cause my death.

Hate feeling like my body is being slowly squeezed of life, can feel it more and more each day, which is not easy to live with.

It really is not, in fact it is bloody difficult to be aware of what is happening and remain calm, and I do not know how I manage this most days.

But somehow I do, we, Richie and I think that having to cope with living with my parents has helped me, putting up with them has given me the strength to try and cope with MS.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Beautiful Sunny Friday.

Miguel Cubiles.

Here it is Friday again, looking forward to the weekend and the rugby and football tomorrow afternoon.

Today has been a day of two halves the morning started well; we woke up at 09.00 when the phone rang, after awhile I did my arm exercises.

Then Richie did my leg exercises and massage after that he got me sitting up with the table and laptop.

Richie had a lovely long shower, which he enjoyed very much; afterwards he made himself a cup of coffee.

No sooner had Richie drunk it when I needed Richie to get me out of bed very urgently so I could go to the toilet.

My bowels were quicker than Richie could get me out of bed, luckily the sheet was protected so did not get messed up.

By the time the hoist lifted me out of my bed the room was filled with the smell of my shit.

These are not my favourite moments, sadly we have both have had to get used to them.

So used to it now, that I do not feel embarrassed anymore, we just get on with it, as we always do and once I had been to the toilet and had a shower I felt brilliant.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Tomorrow Is Another Day.

Self Portrait 1938.

Wilhelm Freddie.

Today has been a relaxed day even though we both missed having a shower; instead Richie gave me a good wash.

The floor by the shower looks like it will be less of an effort for Richie without the ridge which he had to pull the heavy shower chair over.

Tomorrow the new floor tiles will be ready for us to walk and roll over again, seemed quite horrible yesterday when we heard we could not use the shower until Friday.

We are both really looking forward to having a shower in the morning, in fact both of us can not wait for tomorrow.

Right now a shower seems the most wonderful thing in the world to me, but getting the floor done was important.

Good to know that the new tiles will mean less work for Richie and will most importantly his back won’t be strained anymore.

Shame that the weather stayed overcast today and did not brighten up like it did yesterday, which was so nice to see.

At the end of the afternoon it started to pour with rain, when Richie was in the park with the dogs, so they came home quickly.

Much quicker than Richie intended to or the dogs would have wanted to if the rain had not started to bucket down, hope tomorrow will be better.   

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

A Busy Day.

Luisa Fernández "Marixa"

It has been a busy day today, Richie got me up at 09.00 and showered me and dressed me and in the wheelchair by 10.00.

We were expecting someone to come here at 10.30 and level the ridge around the shower, so Richie does not have to work, so hard getting me in and out of the shower.

A friendly chap turned up at 11.30 and worked until 15.30, according to Richie he has done a great job.

The only drawback is no showers until Friday, as the new tiles need two days for the sealant to dry.

While he was working in the bathroom, Annelies, Johanneke arrived, and then we waited for Ruud from Summit to arrive.

He could instantly see the adjustments that are needed so that I can sit securely, at the moment I have some loose foam rubber to facilitate this.

Which Ruud put in an even better position which supported me even better than before, I was hoping that Ruud would adjust the wheelchair seating today.

Sadly that could not happen, first there will be a flurry of paper work, and Ruud estimated this would take two weeks.

In two weeks rime Ruud will be back and will adjust the seat to give me the support that I need to sit well.                          

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

A Big Disappointment.

Llegada de Naruso, 1944

Aurelio Suarez.

Sadly my eyes have not got used to the new lenses as they were supposed to do, this is such a big disappointment for me.

I have written an e-mail to Andre, the optician to let him know that my eyes have not acclimatised, even though it is now the fourth day that I have them..

The font has now to be set to 18 for me to be able to read and write anything,
This is not just a minor inconvenience for me; this has a huge effect on my life.

Hate not being able to read newspaper articles without copying and pasting into word, which does not always go well.

Going to need the optician to come here again and measure my eyes once more.

This time he needs to pay special attention to the reading capacity, as well of course as paying attention to my ability to see at a distance.

Feel quite low about this, can’t believe that trying to be pro-active has got me this mess, the first lenses were too strong and now to weak,

Surely getting new spectacles should not result in these problems, what I expected was to get used to my new lenses and to be very happy with them.

Monday, March 07, 2011

Looking Forward.

Balls of World

Anastasiya Markovich.

Last Friday I got my new lenses, Richie had taken my spectacles to the optician’s on the Thursday afternoon.

Friday afternoon Richie went to fetch my glasses with the new lenses, which had been put in by Andre, the optician.

Friday afternoon it was good getting the glasses back, but it became instantly very obvious my eyes needed to get used to the bifocal lenses over a few days
Saturday and Sunday, I took it extremely easy and managed to read and write with some difficulty.

Today, I was hoping that my eyes would have got used to the new lenses and there would be no more problems.

Sadly my eyes are still not 100% used to these lenses; I shall wait and see what it is like tomorrow.

If I have any doubts tomorrow I shall discuss it with Richie and then get in touch with Andre in the day.

Should these lenses still not work for me Andre will have to come back and measure my eyes again.

I am hoping that tomorrow my eyes will have become accustomed to the lenses and I will not have anymore problems reading my e-mails or comments on my blog.

Sunday, March 06, 2011

Sunny March Sunday.

 Self Portrait.

Frida Kahlo.

Slept very well, so well I did not notice that Richie and the dogs got up at 0.7.00 and Richie took the dogs up to the Amsterdam woods,

The dogs had a great time as there were a lot of animals around, so lots of scents for Marleen and Cyril to follow happily.

They had a truly great time and were back home at 0.9.30, since when both dogs have been curled up on beds.

When Richie offered them a piece of my roti with chicken curry, they loved it and had no problems eating.

Immediately it was clear that was everything, they both seemed to switch off and resumed their sleep.

Right now we are watching football, it is a good game, and Liverpool is beating Manchester United.

Wonderng whether a good friend Keith, will be at the game, I am sure he will be there; it is Liverpool 2 Manchester United 0.

Today would be immensely improved if Liverpool were to win; I would love to see Manchester lose, especially to their close bitter rivals Liverpool.

A beautiful sunny day here, today, blue skies and sunshine all day, that is so lovely after the gloomy grey, misty day yesterday.


Saturday, March 05, 2011

Briliant That Richie Is Looking After Me.

Ernst Fuch.

Yesterday it was quite exciting waiting for Richie to get back from the optician with my new lenses in my old frame.

The new lenses are better, but I will not know if they are really any good until tomorrow, as it seems to take two days to get used to the bifocals..

Sadly it is being a traditional weekend, no blue sky or sunshine like the last two days, which were beautiful days,

I must get Richie to reorganise how I am sitting up in bed, I am collapsed to the left which is very unpleasant after a short time.

Richie has just lain me down and reorganised how I was lying and three minutes later I am leaning badly to the left again.

Adjusting me is something that has to be done constantly throughout the entire day and evening.

Richie is busy enough already without having to do this too, must be so difficult for him to do everything he has to for me everyday.

He looks after me so well and is always looking for ways to make life easier and better for me, which I appreciate.

It is extremely good to know that Richie is looking after things.

Friday, March 04, 2011

Sunny Friday

Adam and Eve.
Ernst Fuchs.

Feeling very crabby today, really need to get my new lenses, I have spent too long with the wrong lenses.

Just phoned the opticians, they are ready; do hope that this time the measurements are correct.

Last night THC got me off to sleep straightaway, which was brilliant, I think it was just  worrying that stopped me sleeping.

Not that the THC was not working but just that I would start to think and somehow always find something to lie wake.

Good to break this without the help of sleeping tablets or Valerian pills just THC chocolates and vapour.

I was very relaxed, so much so that I drifted back off to sleep when I woke up, not once but three times.

That is brilliant, each time it was too early and each time I slept on happily and woke pretty rested and relaxed.

A few hours with the old glasses has made me feel  stressed and strained my eyes, so looking forward to Richie getting back safely with my glasses.

It is Friday, the sun is shining and there has been a lot of bird noises today which is lovely to hear, feels like winter is nearly over soon.

Thursday, March 03, 2011

Wonderful Cornucopia Of Down Home Trinidad Delights.

Eenst Fuchs.

A lovely surprise this morning, the post brought a big wooden box which was crammed full of things from Trinidad.

It was sent by my cousin Aileen and her husband Philip, a truly  wonderful cornucopia of down home Trinidad delights.

They even sent me a bottle of Trinidad rum, Vat 19, really good rum, Trinidad rum is nothing like the dark stuff that is passed off as good rum.

When I was back in Trinidad in 1997, I drunk some good rum at a party, then suddenly it did not taste good anymore.

I asked where the rum was from, at first they told me Trinidad, I said no way and amid much laughter I heard the rum was from Venezuela.

So I was right, it was not Trini rum, funny thing was I only ever had a couple of chances to drink rum from Trinidad.

Yet I had no problems noticing that the rum was suddenly no longer the good stuff, I certainly was not drinking rum when I lived in Trinidad as a child.    

Very exciting receiving a box of goodies from Trinidad, this has given me a huge boost today, which is just what I needed today.

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

A Sunny 2 March Today.

Rodolfo Morales.

A beautiful day, blue sky and sunshine which is lovely to see, really has given me a boost.

A sunny day makes me feel positive, my life is the same but somehow it feels better because of sunshine.

Richie has gone to buy fruit so that I can drink a delicious fruit shake before he takes the dogs to the park.

I think the dogs will enjoy a run in the park in the sunshine, should make them happy, hope it cheers Cyril up and makes him feel very good.

Trying to use my right index finger is becoming more difficult but well worth the effort, it is very difficult to even stretch my right arm out enough to touch the keyboard.

Painful too, my right index finger has stopped functioning now; the fingertip is too bent to be able to type

There is little to be done if the fingertip can not straighten up and select a letter, I had not realised previously how important the index fingers are.

I used to type with all my fingers, when that became impossible I used both index fingers, these days mainly the left.

My hope now is that my index fingers will work for quite sometime, despite problems, so I can keep typing.

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

Focussing On The Positive Things.

Metamorphising of Gaddafi.
By Steve Bell.
The Guardian.

Most of the time I am optimistic but sometimes I get gripped by panic and fear, not surprising being on this MS rollercoaster.

Scary not knowing what will happen next, maybe better that way, rather than knowing precisely what will happen.

I still have to remind myself to live here and now, not with a list that I tick off daily, which function I have lost.

The unpredictable nature of MS keeps me feeling worried, which I do my best to not let it control me.

Focussing on the positive, is my best optlan, while I am conscious, when I am asleep my dreams are generally pleasant.

Sometmes I will wake from a scary one, but that is rare, I think this is because I try to discuss my fears and worries with Richie and write about it.

Certainly helps to stop me wasting valuble time worrying, especially now I am aware of how precious time is.

I have become extremely aware that each day is unique and will never happen twice, an amazing thought.

The weather is not very pleasant again today, typical weather for the beginning of March, on the 17 March I shall be 60, we are going to have a party on the 18         March.