Friday, December 28, 2007

Life is getting harder, but still it's my life.





hello dear People,

hope you are well?

had a pleasant christmas with my darling Richie, I do love him so very much and he loves me.
and now he does everything for me.

he needs alot of support now, we both do and we could not do it without our friends

I am so worried for him as this is such a horrible situation to watch your partner lose mobility and become totally disabled so quickly.

a year ago I could still stand up, could wash and dress myself, put my earings in and turn pages and write and roll great joints and now I can't do any of that.

now typing is a struggle which I do with one fingernail or a knuckle and eating is a struggle, so is just sitting upright in my wheelchair.

I still laugh alot and enjoy all I can but it's hard and getting harder, feel now I need to go out as much as possible as I feel now that I won't be able to sit up for very much longer.

sounds abit dramatic but just noticing my bodies decline and being realistic., but no way am I giving up as I am still totally alive and full of it.

just sometimes it all overflows and I cry as much as I laugh.

its bloody hard especially not being able to sleep together, we miss the closeness.

I miss snuggling up to my darling. but since april I have to sleep in a hospital bed and you only get a single bed apparently cripples do not need intimacy!

bloody hell we both need it more than ever but thats how it is when you need the states help, you only get the cheapest equipment.

seems its always the cost that is important not the quality of life. shame as right now I/we could do with alot of quality of life.

seems we will have to make the best of it which we do.

well thats all I can manage tonight.

take care of yourselves.

and enjoy your life now!

thanks for your love and support.

best wishes for 2008.

love,
Herrad

8 comments:

Merelyme said...

i have been thinking and wondering about you so much. what a beautiful post this is. and i love the photo of you two. i feel like anything i say is gonna sound stupid and cliched. just know that...i am always moved by your words and honesty. thank you for continuing to write here.

herrad said...

merelyme please don't worry that what you say is gonna sound stupid and cliched its quite the opposite
i really appreciate your comments.
thanks for reading my blog.

Charles-A. Rovira said...

You are indeed loved by lots of people.

Your podcasts are amongst my most downloaded.

The "long tail" of this medium guaranties that they will remain so too.

Anytime you have anything else to share with other Dutch MSers, I'm ready to help.

Anne said...

I am new to your posts and so glad you got the equipment you blogged about recently.

Who needs a bed for sex? (smile)

I understand what you are saying though. We miss alot of stuff here at my house too. I'm w/c bound right now and not much feeling "down below" but we still have intimacy, thank God.

I am so glad you have someone in your life. I think having someone day in and day out - to talk to, to laugh with, to live with - is more important than anything else.

Happy New Year,
Anne

http://disablednotdead-anne.blogspot.com

zenhead said...

you're lucky to have a partner like that, who can do so much for you (including rolling the joints!) i hope your new year is filled with joy!

zenhead said...

how lucky to have such a caring partner who will do so much for you (epesecially roll the joints!)happy new year to you!

Merelyme said...

hey happy new year to you herrad!

Diane J Standiford said...

Beautiful photo. My partner of 28yrs has become disabled and I have gotten much worse over last few years...we try to take care of each other but it gets harder each year. Thank God for love. You guys,us,we can all still love and be loved.