That I am cheerful despite this horrible MS is thanks to my darling Richie.

I am in pain all the time now it's slowly moving up my body. Has now got to my lower back just around my waist.

Also get these horrible shooting pains in my face and jaws that come and go and to make it even better get woken up despite sleeping pills during the night with a nasty pain in my upper right arm.

Hate having to take sleeping tablets, hate all tablets but it seems the only way I can get some sleep. If I am lucky I get about 6 hours sleep and if I am even luckier I can doze off again

Am amazed that I am keeping so positive, would never have thought it possible, especially as I stopped smoking grass on 4 january.

Use a vaporizer now but apart from a floaty feeling in my head its not the same as smoking grass. Smoking helped as a painkiller, took my mind off how horrible it is and how quickly I am detriorating. Plus it relaxed me and gave me an appetite.

Of course its thanks to my darling Richie's love and support and all his help and care that I am cheerful and happy despite all this shit.

Worry alot about my darling Richie, looking after me fulltime plus working has been too much and he had a burn out at the end of November and its a slow and rocky recovery. One step forwards and two backwards.

Wish I could make my angel feel better. Wish we had the money for my darling to stop working. Wish I could make the MS go away.

All I can do is love and appreciate him, which I do.