Charting The Progression Of My MS.

 

Roberto Matta.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roberto_Matta 

As soon as I woke up I felt the full range of MS sensations, it felt like small electric shocks were happening up and down my body.

While this was happening it also felt like I was on fire, at the same time my arms tightly folded against my torso and my legs were having spasms.

not a pleasant way to wake up but this is what happens just about every day, so while the sensations are still very strange, they have become very familiar.

It is weird feeling these things every day what is even stranger is witnessing the progression of my MS.

Horrible to see how far it has got, sometimes it makes me feel like I'm being squeezed like a tube of toothpaste.

Gradually my body is becoming more paralysed and less able to function.

It is strange to be keeping a log of this happening to me, all I can do is write about how I feel and think about what is happening to me right now.

Coping With Being Severely Handicapped.

 Luis Cruz Azaceta; American; born in Cuba 1942-, 

Man Looking For A Hole, 1987

Last night it was extremely humid so I took a sleeping tablet to help me sleep, this worked well and I slept until 10.00 this morning.

Today has been an even hotter day, which has made it almost impossible for Richie to get me in a good sitting position that I can maintain.

So far, this strategy is not working; right now I'm sitting corkscrewed with my left shoulder at a strange and uncomfortable angle.

My only solution is to call Richie again and hope that he can assist me in finding a better position.

What constantly amazes me is how long I keep going when I'm sitting in an incredibly strange and uncomfortable position.

Despite that I keep going on much longer than I ever thought possible, but then again I never thought I would end up like this.

Practically totally paralysed, in constant discomfort and pain, in capable of doing anything much.

My left index finger and thumb are still functioning so I can just about type a few words, but no more because I use voice recognition.

The only thing I really need my index finger for is to move the cursor behind a word I want to delete.

In the past I've often wondered how handicapped people are able to cope with their lives when they have such difficulties.

Now I don't need to wonder anymore because I'm experiencing it myself on a daily basis.

There is no need to speculate now; all I need to do is get on with my life as best I can.

Often like today it comes extremely difficult, and quite painful I find inhaling some THC relaxes me and allows me to carry on.

Right now Richie is cooking something delicious for our evening meal, my plan is to finish this, search on the Internet for a picture and post this on my blog and enjoy evening with my darling Richie.