Saturday, May 10, 2008

Love myself unconditionally.

Thanks for your comment Diane,keep forgetting that I really need to learn how to love myself again.

The MS has really rattled me and my picture of myself.

That picture has been totally disrupted.

It is like a puzzle that's difficult to put together.

Feel very ambivalent about myself and give myself a hard time.

Do have courage for everything else but accepting myself as I am now.

2 comments:

Anne said...

Herrad:

Please don't take this as preachy but in the good spirit in which I write it. I have been in the place where you are (per your post) and it was a dark lonely place that my loved ones did not like to see me in. I have a husband and two grown sons but no other living family. Acceptance was not in my vocabulary. Self image was not my strong suit.

I know it is hard to see yourself as you are now compared to a time when you were more mobile. I know it is because it was hard for me also.

But keep in mind that when you talk on the phone to people, that is NOT the picture they have in their mind of you when they are speaking to you. The tone and words you say to them build the picture they have of you.

I know it is so very hard for you now as the MS progresses and you become more dependent on others. But know that deep inside, YOU are still there - the very essence of YOU - and that is the person that those around you love.

Yes, your picture has been totally disrupted (per your words) but giving yourself a hard time does nothing to remedy the matter.

We all have our "pity" days and days when we feel disconnected from things (me too), but we have to remember that when friends and loved ones come to visit or take time to call on phone, being at your best no matter what will do wonders for you.

It is not easy to accept ourselves as we are now, but not doing so only slows our growth and in fact, can make our physical well being much worse than it is.

Little things you do for yourself can help you along toward acceptance. (everything from choice of clothing, activities, diet, TV shows, future plans for visits to go out or have people over)

Know that you are most fortunate in that you have Richie and other close people who love you and are there for you.

They have already accepted you as you are. It is time for you to catch up to them!

Hang in there! Anne

Vicki said...

She's good, isn't she -- Dianne. And Lisa, too. Anne left a good comment here. Your friends, both personal and Internet friends,rally for you.

Please count me among them. Since I first found you - or did you find me - what seems like a lifetime ago, I have often thought of Herrad with affection.

You have had hard times, but you have always shown your spirit and your humanity. Please believe in yourself as we believe in you.

It's not always a fun ride, but I find comfort in your thoughts as you go through it.