The only excitement ...........

"With the only excitement being will I be able to get out of the chair and transfer successfully on to the toilet or will it go badly wrong. "

Only wrote those words on the blog a mere days ago and already I am being denied "the only excitement". Can't go to the toilet anymore on my own, certainly not this toilet its too small to ride in with the chair. It started on my birthday suddenly I could not get back up from the toilet my darling had to lift me and swivel round with me in his arms in the doorway and place me in the chair. Quite a manoeuvre much too exciting for both of us and not good for his back at all.

This week Tuesday after much discussion on how to handle things we decided we had better borrow a bed and a commode from thuiszorg (home help org). This is so that I did not need to have the scary bit of getting into the bed will I fall into the bed or tip up on the floor and the too exciting bit where md has to haul me up out of the bed where I hold him round the neck and he pulls me up to a seating position and then hold onto two handles and fall backwards into the chair. Really bad for his back especially swivelling me round in bed.

When my knees refused to let me stand it also became clear I could not sleep in our bed anymore so sadly decided on the thuiszorg bed, a hoog/laag bed, one you can adjust in height and the motor will move the bed to a sitting up position. A necessity for me and better for md's back and my nerves. Really gutted about the commode but really could not use this toilet can't stand up and shuffle in. Also devasted as this is another bit of independence gone, fucking hell I can't go to the toilet on my own.

I need some sort of equipment that I can hang on while I pulled up my knickers and trousers.
Perhaps the equipment exists but it will cost a fortune more than a poor cripple can afford. Beginning to see that we may need all sorts of equipment to help my darling and others lift me and move me around. Hope that's not for awhile but then last august I did not think that by November I would be fulltime in a wheelchair and that by my 56 birthday I would not be able to stand up and go to the toilet.

Sadly still waiting to hear if I can get the wheelchair that I need and also still waiting for next week Thursday in the hope there may be the flat of our dreams on the housing department's site, dienst wonen. Once every two weeks 1 to 4 flats are put on the site that are suitable for wheelchair users. Suitable does not mean equipped for someone in a wheelchair as most places do not have any adjustments for the handicapped.

I have been applying since september last year so far nothing and so far have not seen a flat that has anything specifically for someone in a wheelchair. So I have been stuck indoors since July when I could not do the stairs on anymore. Since July 2006 I have been home fulltime unable to leave the house alone. Could do it with help someone had to ride shotgun and make sure I was not standing on my foot or more my right leg down a step if the knee got stuck.

Then in November I could not walk down the steps anymore could hobble round indoors with the help of a stick and then a walking frame on wheels, a rollator. from mid November the mobility bus people, fine fellows all of them, carry me up and down a little chair that dangles in between them. its not pleasant at all, really scary especially as its all out of my control.

So since then I have only been out for appointments at the rehab clinic and other exciting medical appointments and occasionally also a walk round the park or a quick shopping trip or walk down the market. Often forgetting to buy anything as I am too excited about just being outside, like yesterday md and I were out just a walk down to the market near us and a sandwich from our favourite Surinam sandwich shop Surima on the Ten Kate markt. Tasty saltfish with lots of pepper sauce yummy, have no been there for ages.

Real nice so many people still recognized me especially as some of them have not seen me since I broke my knee cartilage I September 2005 so real sweet there were a few hellos as we rode down the market. I felt quite euphoric not surprised as I have not been outside for a walk in weeks just therapy sessions and home. Mind you the weather is only now getting nice to go somewhere it was too cold and usually raining not nice any time but certainly not in a chair.