Sunday, December 14, 2008

Day by day.

I have done well to reclaim my life but only mentally and not physically as I needed a wheelchair for getting about outside right away and within 3 months of diagnosis I could not walk down the steps anymore.

After 4 months was fulltime in wheelchair and after another 5 months couldn’t get out of the chair anymore and transfer to an ordinary chair or to bed or shower chair and needed help with everything.

Could still write and cook abit, simple things like like scrambled eggs or stir fry something prepared for me to use and could still use knife and fork and hold a glass or cup in one hand and eat with the other hand.

Had additional stress as we lived on the second floor without a lift so was stuck indoors for about a year only getting out twice a week to rehab when I was carried down the steps by the men from the mobility bus and their scary chair.

Sadly by the time we moved a year after diagnosis could not go out on my own as my hands could no longer function very well, could not use a key or open doors or even my purse.

I needed help with everything but could still type and pick up things and eat, could do things with both hands by the end of summer a year after diagnosis I had a catheter and could only type with one finger and needed even more help.

Now 2 years and 4 months later I am totally handicapped and need everything done for me.

One good thing now is that I found myself again and no longer feel useless and somehow less of a person and a woman, now I know that I am still the same person still as dynamic as ever and still the same sharpness.

Had to get through a morass of feelings to get here and I have by experiencing all the highs and lows of the last couple of years and thinking things through and refinding my sense of humour.

Now I have reached where I am now which is in alot of discomfort and pain and in bed all the time because of the nasty pressure sore and can now consciously enjoy everything that I have like Richie and his love and care and a nice flat, friends and our dogs and the fact that I have realised that my body is crap but my mind is fine, in good shape and life is good.

Taking each day one at a time, now look forward to our wedding anniversary on 19 December and then Winter Solstice and Christmas.

5 comments:

Merelyme said...

will you do something special for your anniversary? your story is so remarkable and how you have survived all of this. i wish i could take away all your pain and hardship.

Shauna said...

You are an inspiration to many. Thank you for continuing to blog.

S.

Anne said...

Yes, you still do have your mind and pray you always will. Though our bodies fail us in many ways, some people tend to treat us as if our minds are in the same shape as our bodies.

And that is simply NOT FAIR.

I do not hesitate to set people straight when I get that first inkling that I am being treated differently because of their perception that my mind is in the same shape as my body.

And I do not hesitate to tell 'em flat out - set the record straight once and for all, and then I find we all get along well together.

I am thankful that you are still able to blog and trust you have received my card by now (sent Nov 20 or so).

Happy Anniversary and Merry Christmas to you both
Love, Anne

Richie said...

It has been a hell of a journey but I would not change places with any one. You are the light that shines in this world and makes my life beautiful. I love you more every day
Richie

LISA EMRICH said...

Herrad, you are my inspiration, and like Shauna said, an inspiration to many. I am personally blessed to know you through your blog. Only one more day until the Winter Solstice. Enjoy.
Love, Lisa