Not Allow Us To Think For Ourselves.

James Abbott McNeill Whistler.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Abbott_McNeill_Whistler


Had a good nights sleep, just woke abit earlier than I wanted to, Richie helped me to drift off again by getting me some THC when he heard me wake up moaning in pain.

As soon as I am conscious I feel everything again and it always hits me very hard, really dread those first few moments of being awake again.

I did my arm exercises right away as my arms were so painfully cramped up and I wanted to get them moving as fast as I could.

When my arms hurt me so much, as they did this morning, then I try to get the exercises done right away, doing them usually helps me tremendously.

The leg exercises are also very good for me, glad that Mathilde, my physiotherapist, showed Richie how to do my leg exercises and the leg massage.

These two things along with my arm exercises and using the Motomed to do 30 minutes of leg exercise and 15 minutes of arm exercises daily really help keep me fit.

Which is very important especially now that I can not walk or move at all, so doing these exercises is even more important for me.

Could not believe how many sensational stories there are in the press today to take my mind off my pain and discomfort.

The Sunday papers are running more allegations against the Pakistani cricket team and there is more about the News of The World telephone tapping story, which came out after a New York Times story.

There is also a story about Wayne Rooney paying for sex during his wife’s pregnancy and more about William Hague and his special advisor, who he is alleged to have taken to Afghanistan with him on a fact finding mission.

It is all go on the news front as the August silly season is over and the papers give us real news again.

Sadly there is nothing about bringing Mugabe or Tony Blair and George Bush in front of any court of law.

Would have thought that Tony and George should stand trial in Den Hague, for what now seems to be seen as an illegal war in Iraq.

But that’s how the papers report news; the really important news often is left out as papers seek to manipulate their readers.

They prefer to feed the population a mixture of scandal, titillation and fear, those stories sell copies of the papers and bumps up their circulation.

Just to balance it out every now and then there is a real news item that emerges, but generally it is all stories of scandals and celebrities and stirring up fear of crime and fear of Muslims.

We are living in much too interesting times, as everything now seems to point to the world being manipulated into war.

The right wing Christians seem to want a Holy War, a Crusade against Muslims, they seem to want to make an Armageddon happen at all cost.

Recently Tony Blair has been agitating for a war against Iran, as he tries to persuade his fellow Christians that all Muslims are a potential danger.

They do not seem to care if this kills many innocent people in the process, they do not even care I think, if this were to be the end of the world.

Not as long as they, the righteous triumph, really find it hard to believe there are so many who will preach about Christian love and at the same time want to kill thousands of innocent people.

All in the name of religion, amazing how repressed life can be if you allow a big daddy like these church and sect leaders and others like Blair to interpret the world for us and not allow us to think for ourselves.

All Set to Sit Again.

Frogs and Lizards.



Slept pretty well last night, shame that I tend to wake up early and then can not get back off to sleep again.

And today was no exception, woke up when I coughed which triggered as always a big spasm.

I was now officially awake although did try to pretend I was still asleep, did not work, so lay here moaning quietly.

I was very happy when Richie got up and closed the window and put the heating on briefly to warm up the apartment.

As soon as it was warm I did my arm exercises and Richie did the leg exercises and massage.

Then a delicious fruit smoothie and later on oatcakes and Wenselydale cheese with Branston pickle and a couple of spicy pickled onions.

In between my new red winter jacket arrived, it has zips up the arms which make it easier to put on.

Also got a warm black protective bag (like a sleeping bag with zips) for my legs and up to my hips, nothing under my bottom which makes it easy to put on in the chair so no extra transfers with the hoist.

Looking forward to testing them out this Thursday when my adaptation will be fitted onto my electric wheelchair.

I am all set to go out and enjoy myself, first have to take it easy and slowly build up the length of time that I can sit.

But soon I will be out and about in my new red jacket all snug with my legs well protected.

Feels good to me.

Great Visit From a Good Friend Today.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grayson_Perry

Grayson Perry.


Last night neither of us got of to sleep easily as we were both too tired, weird would have thought that being tired would make sleep inevitable.

It was eventually, but it took us both hours, I finally drifted off between 4 and 5 this morning and Richie after 5.

We did catch up on a little sleep by sleeping until midday, it was 13.30 by the time Richie had done my leg exercises and massage and I had done my 30 minutes of arm exercises.

An hour later, a good friend Anja came to visit, she brought us bagels and humus, sadly my directions were not too good so she went in the wrong bagel shop, Bagels and Beans who do not make real bagels, they make bagel shaped bread rolls.

Real bagels are chewy, these were very nice light bread rolls, but it did not matter, it was so pleasant to have a visit from such a good friend as Anja.

Realised today that we know each other quite awhile now, first saw her in 1983 and got to know her the year after.

Something really good about getting a visit from someone who knows you so well, like Anja knows me.

Remember how in 1997 when I told her and another friend that Richie was moving back to Amsterdam to be with me, their reactions were so very different.

Anja's reaction confirmed again that she was a real friend, whereas the other woman, Dorthe showed she was not a real friend by shouting out 'That is a bad plan'.

Anja on the other hand said 'If that makes you happy then I am all in favour'.

Think poor Dorthe was quite confused by my reaction, she had not expected me to disagree with her, so when I told her that her opinion had not been asked for, and she was stunned.

Poor thing, funny how you can sometimes suddenly see who really is a friend and who not.

Anja showed by her comment that she was in favour of what made me happy and Dorthe, that
she obviously did not care about my happiness.

It was sad to have this confirmed but that is life isn’t, sometimes you get disappointed but there is usually a silver lining my silver lining in 1997 was Richie moving back to Amsterdam.

I came back in the summer of 1996 to work on my final dissertation and stayed on after I finished my Masters degree in Criminology.

My silver lining is still with me now and I am happy each day that Richie is here in my life.

April 1989 will always be my favourite month, that is when we met for the first time, amazingly that is twenty years ago now.

Quite incredible that it’s 20 years already, does not seem like it at all, but then the saying is ‘Time flies by when you are having fun’.

And I really do have fun with Richie, even now time flies when we are together and we can always see the funny side of things.

Life with Richie is good, despite the MS we still have good times together, and long may it go on.




http://www.guardian.co.uk/artanddesign/2003/nov/21/art.turnerprize2003

Right to Know and Right to Decide

Was a quiet and peaceful awakening this morning, did feel the pain again as soon as I was conscious like I do every morning.

Tried my best to minimize the noise I made as I did not want to wake Richie up, but he heard me right away.

Hard to minimize sounds of pain because all the pain comes back immediately when you become aware and that is what greets you each morning.

It was difficult to completely suppress and did my best but even so Richie heard me.

He was up right away and fetched me some THC which relaxes me and relieves the pain so

that I could do my arm exercises.

Richie gave me THC in the breaks during the exercises and when I was finished I felt relaxed.

I was ready for the leg exercises, done by Richie followed by leg massage.

And then baclofen tablets and drink water and I was ready to meet the world
via my laptop.

I just heard a program on BBC radio about Motor Neuron / ALS it seems that an ad is not being shown on the BBC Television as the images were too shocking.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motor_neurone_disease

http://www.alsmndalliance.org/

Find it very strange that the truth is distorted find this more shocking than the pictures.

The images were about what life is like for a young woman with MND / ALS and it is not nice but it's the truth.

It is unfortunate that people do not get to see the truth or hear that someone else has decided for them because they know better.

It is very inhumane thing to deny people the truth and I am shocked about this decision.

The other item that I had heard, which also shocked me was about Euthanasia in England.

The Parliament, The House of Lords has again refused to give people the right to decide when they want to end their lives.

A woman Baroness Campbell has stopped the law being passed, she is disabled and is in a wheelchair, and she does not want to be euthanized and does not want anyone else to have that right either.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jane_Campbell,_Baroness_Campbell_of_Surbiton

Baroness Campbell said that if the law permits disabled people to choose when they could die, that doctors would coerce them into having euthanasia.

'' that suicide reform would lead to state-assisted dying: to a situation in which doctors would encourage people with disabilities to end their lives''

This really is pure nonsense as if doctors would convince people to ask for euthanasia, I never heard such nonsense.

But that is how a debate is killed by making it very emotional and personal which makes discussion impossible and there is no argument against it.

Any argument is seen as an attack, and that's no discussion on the contrary it is a kind of emotional blackmail.

Baroness Campbell has a privileged position compared with other disabled people, it is a pity

that she and her supporters do not want to see that the right to self determination is not a signal for all disabled people to be euthanized.

That is how this debate is conducted in England, and that's no real discussion so it seems that there is no hope at present for this new law to be passed.

And they will carry on doing euthanasia by the back door by increasing doses of morphine until you are in a coma; the other way is stopping feeding.

Both inhumane ways to end someone's life but that is apparently better that allowing people the dignity of deciding for themselves and being able to go surrounded by family and friends.

Initially could not get to sleep last night so had to wake Richie up to get some thc.

It worked a treat as I was soon fast asleep and even had a good quiet waking up and felt relatively ok so did the arm exercises right away.

It seemed to ease some of the discomfort I was experincing around my neck and shoulders.

Richie helped relieve the tension in the legs by a series of exercises and then he massaged my legs.

After the baclofen tablets and drinking quarter of a liter water I felt I could start the day.

It is abit overcast but quite warm and every now and then the sun bursts through the clouds.

It is a public holiday today and it is relatively quiet and peaceful with every now and then the sounds of kids playing in the play area by the Fijnhout theatre.

It all sounds very relaxed and pleasant and that is how I intend to experience troday in a pleasant and relaxed manner.

Hope it is the same for everyone.