Saturday, January 17, 2009

Have been abit down recently and thought it important that I talk about it.

Posted on my blogs yesterday that I have realised once again that it is important for me to communicate how I feel and what is happening to me.

Better than keeping it all to myself and consequently not sleeping well.

Posting yesterday was a real relief and last night I slept really well, actually went to sleep minutes after Richie put the light out

Somehow got it into my head that to talk about how I am alot would be a burden on my friends and from there started to always respond by saying I am ok when asked how I am.

Sometimes it is a good day and I am ok but mostly I am not ok just got being optimistic and ok mixed up.

Really didn't and don't want MS,conditionto be a burden on others but finally accept that to keep stuff to myself is more of a burden.

Aware that my condition is getting worse, lying in bed has weakened the muscles in my back so when I sit in the shower chair I start to slump forward very quickly.

My arms are getting very painful and have pain in most of my body now get painful tingles which wash up and down all the time.

Keep telling myself that it's just the MS sending mixed signals and not real pain but does not really work as I still am in lots of pain.


Charles-A. Rovira said...

The biggest problem with persistent and chronic pain (even "phantom pain,) is that it erodes your "joie de vivre" and it made me into a sour ol' rat with a distinctly jaundiced outlook on life.

It wears you down too. (I had very bad teeth and constant, chronic tooth pain until about 25 years ago. [I found out what the problem was {"Montréal Mouth"} and got "the heck out of Dodge" to some place where they did fluoridate the water.] My new dentist probably saved my life.)

I hope you can bear it and that it lessens for you.

BTW I am able to play any music at all for the school radio shows since the school is paying the tithes to the thieves who leech off of the artists.

I will give in and pay the extortion money and be able to do the same on the MSB podcasts so you will be to start again with your podcasts.

It is a wonderfully therapeutic thing to be able to get your voice heard and get some feed back from other MSers who will be able to know exactly what you're going through.

The offer for to host any shows you produce still stands.

Jaya said...

Om Shanti..try meditation and seek your centre and paradoxically you turn inwards and the pain subsides..voluntary out of body experience..a thought for all it is worth..peace and love, laughter and light..