Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Visit from Marianne
Had a bad night last night that even thc could not help me get to sleep until the early hours.
Must have been a nightmare for Richie who is feeling really frazzled today.
I can sypathesise as I feel pretty crappy right now, last night was one of those nights that happens once in a while.
I guess there was a clue in how I felt in the evening, where I started to feel very sad, and started to overflow with tears that I could not control.
Had very gloomy thoughts that I found very difficult to dispel, was having a hard time thinking about how long I would have to live.
And having the feeling it would not be as long as I would want it to be.
Visited Marc's blog@The Wheelchair Kamikaze
He posted a piece called What Price Health where he asked how long would you chose to live if you knew there was a drug that could restore your condition to what it was before MS.
The deal was you could sign up as long as you realised that you would be granted a reprieve and if you say signed up for 5 years at the end of 5 yrs you would die suddenly.
It was I thought provocatively thought provoking and after not too long I chose five years as the length of time that it would take me to do everything I still want to do.
Maybe that piece set me off on my sad train of thought yesterday when I got too stuck thinking about when it is over.
I am too much of a crier too be able to speculate for even a second without getting too involved.
Am t rying to thoink cheerful thoughts right now especially as I want to be in a good frame of mind for seeing Marianne at 2 pm.
She got back from her holiday in South Africa last Thursday and phoned me soon after she got in.
She sounded very well and Richie says he saw her whizzing down the Kinkerstraat on her biycle on Saturday looking very well indeed.
Already I feel so much more cheerful just talking about the prospect of a visit from our lovely friend Marianne.