Monday, August 10, 2009
Enjoying the moment.
Another warm and sunny day today, we never got the rain they had forecast for the weekend, something we were both sad about.
Funny that this time I joined Richie in wanting rain, until 2007 and MS I never had a problem with hot weather.
The hotter the better, was really in my element, the time I went back to visit Trinidad in 1997.
Of course the first day the heat was a big shock.
Got off the plane in Barbados and was greeted by what felt like a wall of heat, it felt physical.
By the next morning I was getting used to the heat again, I knew enough to get up at 6 am so as to enjoy the hours until 10 am when it would start to get too hot to do much.
At my cousin Aileen this is when you had a swim and a float in the pool, coming out around 12 noon for a shower and lunch.
In the afternoon everything was done in a relaxed manner and some took a siesta mid afternoon, and all showered around 5 pm and reappeared cool and relaxed for an evening of liming with family and friends.
It was nice to reconnect with my Trini background, nearly did not go and visit, and was saying near the departure time, that it was so long since I had been in Trinidad so why go now?
Real glad that I did go as it gave me back myself, when I was there it suddenly became very clear where I was from and who I was.
When I got back to Amsterdam it really did me good, to know that I was a Trini, the love for that beautiful Island and the passionate argumentative people have informed and enriched my life.
It was good toe reintegrate the Trini element into my life, finally things made sense, and the missing element had been restored after I had visited my roots.
Which confirmed for me that my visit to the place I was born and lived until I was eleven was important and would always be important.
It has become an important element of me; it was something that I needed to embrace in order to feel whole again, to feel me again.
The MS diagnosis really did put a dent in my self image and my self worth.
Been trying to rebuild it ever since, which is not easy as every time I had just got used to one change, when another adjustment would be needed..
My MS was progressing faster than I could come to terms with the changes, both physically and mentally.
As I am typing my body is slipping over to the right and at the same time also going to the left, will have to call Richie soon to put me into a better position.
The left side of my body is desperately trying to keep my body upright and not succeeding too well, although I do seem to have been able to shift slightly back to the left.
At just the right moment Rich came in the room and I am sitting well balanced again which is much better.
It is 13 pm now my physical therapist will be here at 14 pm for 30 minutes, after which the ergo therapist from the RCA (the Rehab. Clinic) will be here to evaluate my posture and how I sit in the chair.
This will be invaluable for the adaption of my wheelchair, am very pleased Ludwine can come this afternoon.
It is really important that the chair is adapted well in order to prevent any more pressure sores.
Have a good afternoon and evening, I intend to enjoy mine and am looking forward to both appointments as well as the prospect of a pleasant visit from Darren at 17.30.