Sunday, March 14, 2010
Life Right Here Right Now.
Shame that I can not remember now all the things I wanted to write about; typically my best thoughts often happen when I can not record them.
Last night of course, as soon as Richie had put my laptop away I had some excellent ideas for my next post.
Was for some reason supremely confident that I would recall these thoughts, but of course as soon as I could write today I realised that I remembered nothing, sadly not even one word.
Blimey doesn’t Sunday happen so very quickly, almost takes me by surprise, just like it already being my birthday on Wednesday this coming week.
Richie was amused when I said that I was looking forward to it, but just needed another two weeks time to be ready for it.
By the look of amusement on his face I must do this every year just before the 17 of March.
I guess it always surprises me by happening quicker than I think, I expect it’ is funny how one moment it is forever January and two seconds later it is March again and my birthday.
This year I shall take it all as it comes, shall wait and see what the day will bring, see if anyone comes round to visit.
This year don’t feel to ring round and organise people to come round, wonder if this feeling of wait and see is because I am still in bed.
Not really something for me to just sit back and take it as it comes, not sure I have ever been able to do that, have always been too pro-active.
Probably that is why this level of handicap is not easy, feeling more and more like the leading character in Kafka’s wonderful book Metamorphosis.
It does feel like a total change, one morning life was totally changed beyond recognition and now all I can do iust lie on my back.
Not sure I can ever come to terms with this, nor would I ever want to, not sure that is ever possible to do or that it is even advisible.
What I can do, I do and that is to stay as positive as possible and in the here and now, every day I tell myself this over and again just like a mantra.
Stay positive and enjoy the moment in the here and now. Now.