Silver Lining.

Modern Dutch Art.

Yesterday at the end of what was a good day, my hands and fingers suddenly could not function well anymore.

The moment that I heard the door close behind Richie and Marleen, my right index finger stopped working and I could not do a thing apart from admire the picture on my desktop.

It was a horrible especially as it lasted for the hour and abit that Richie and Marleen were in the park.

Just before they got back I managed to open and move a card in a game of freecell, this was quite an achievement.

It was only one card but it felt good that I could do that, had to get Richie to pay the television subscription as I could do anything again,

Once the bill had been paid Richie hoisted me out of bed and in to the shower chair and took me through to the bathroom.

After Richie washed me he rolled me back into the bedroom in the shower chair for my 30 minutes on the Motomed machine.

When I was back in bed my index fingers and my hands were working again, oh the joy of a functioning index finger.

Losing the function in my index fingers is something that I dread, but it is beginning to be a reality, it happens every day now, usually just before being hoisted out of bed.

Once I am back my fingers work again, long may it continue.

But I am realistic enough to know that this coming and going of index fingers and hand function usually means that it will stop soon.

That is the reality that is how it happened with my legs, I started having problems walking any distance in April 2006.

By end of November my walking days were over, I could still get up and shuffle a few steps holding on and sit in a chair.

Could still be independent then, and do everything for myself which was good, guess with hindsight I knew it was all coming to an end.

Just had hoped to be shuffling for a few years more, big shock at end of March 2007 when standing up and shuffling a few a steps to sit on a chair or the toilet or the shower chair bcame impossible.

Until the end of March 2007 I was still showering and dressing myself and making myself a couple pieces of toast for breakfast.

Would sit happily in the kitchen with dogs then roll to the pc in the front room and spend the morning there until Richie got in from work at 13.30
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Even though I was stuck in our apartment on the second floor without a lift, I was still happy as I could still shuffle those important 3 steps.

The day that stopped was a huge shock, luckily I had absent minded slipt the phone into my pocket and could ring Richie and get him to come home and rescue me.

This happened several times and then I had to accept that I was not going to be able to manage on my own
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That was when we had to use the home care services, which were no longer as good as they were before the service was made a commercial enterprise.

It was mostly a nightmare having different people coming to the apartment three times a day.

Some care workers were very good and others were shockingly bad, 4 really hurt me using the hoist badly and strapping my feet so badly in the Motomed that I got blisters and then the skin came off m ankles luckily it healed within 6 weeks.

Glad that finally because my MS had progressed so much I now needed constant care, this entitled me to get a disability allowance so Richie could stay home and look after me fulltime
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This is so much better than Richie working and also doing everything for me as the care workers preferred to do the minimum.

It is a lot of work for my darling, I do appreciate very much that my darling is here with me looking after me.

The silver lining for me is Richie and his love and care.