Thursday, March 04, 2010
More Silver Lining Soon.
Got woken up quite early by the phone ringing; this also woke Spike who started patrolling the apartment.
After a couple of minutes just as Spike had stopped, my mobile went off, this happened twice in quick succession and it set Spike off again.
Sadly we could not pick up and no messages were left and the callers were also anonymous so I could not get in touch myself.
Waking up this morning was not pleasant, I felt intense pain in my arms and legs, what was really worrying was the way my arms were feeling.
They felt as if any movement was no longer an option this motivated me to do my arm exercises right away.
They were more difficult to do than ordinarily, my arms were stiff, but luckily as I did them each set got slightly easier and by the end my arms felt better.
I could almost stretch them out totally which is very good for me, they did feel somewhat better than before I started.
After the exercises were done I became aware of a strange feeling in my neck, at first I tried lifting my head to see if that would help, but it didn’t.
Then I realised the sensation was similar to a panic attack, it took me some time to be able to reduce my panic.
It was really unpleasant it felt like the neck muscles had gone rigid and could not be relaxed again.
Of course this was not true as the muscles did finally relax again, felt good when they were no longer rigid.
Never had that sensation before, hope that I do not experience it again but can’t guarantee that.
Just before I felt my tensed neck muscles this morning I was thinking how horrible it would be to be paralysed and flat on my back.
Did a double take as I realised that this is my situation, I am paralysed and would be flat on my back if it were not for the bed.
The bed can be adjusted to sit me up, not to the full sitting up position and not now the muscles in my torso have become so weak.
Now, since the skin tear and not being able to sit in my wheelchair, my back muscles have become so weak it means I am even more slumped than I was before.
That is why it is important that the skin wound heals soon so I do not lose all muscle strength in my back.
Trying to stay positive which is difficult to do as we have no idea and no clue what may have caused the skin damage.
Be good for Richie to know what it was so he knows what to avoid, and good for me to know so that I do not get totally paranoid.
Important to keep our spirits up, we do our best but this has been a big downer and has been a huge setback.
Been cheering myself up by telling myself that every cloud has a silver lining, sometimes like just now, the dark clouds drift off to reveal a blue sky and sunshine.
Hope to see more silver lining soon.