Homage To Accountants.
The days are going fast as they always seem to in the spring; the days are getting brighter and longer.
Nights are still long for me, luckily I have been sleeping well, but there is still too much time to think about my condition.
When Richie turns the light off, often that seems to switch on my thoughts, this is when I focus on things I think I should have done.
Often these are almost fabricated worries, as if to keep me thinking about something other than my MS.
In the mornings feeling my legs spasming as well as the painful stiffness in my arms triggers off gloomy thoughts.
I hate waking up and being confronted daily with my stiff arms, my pain, everyday it hurts to realise again what I have to live with.
Lying here this morning half awake, aware straight away what my limitations are these days is not easy for me.
Being able to pull my head and a bit of my shoulders off the bed using the trapeze above my bed is a huge achievement for me.
Not being able to do things like sit up, or hold my torso upright or even eat my food is very difficult for me.
I do my best to rationlise and am determined to make the best of being alive.