I do my best to stay cheerful, be positive about my life, I like life and seeing people, being involved.
Last thing at night; before I sleep and first thing in the morning, when I am just awake I have scary thoughts.
Where I contemplate what will happen next, as I am once again conscious of all my pain, discomfort as well as all my limitations.
These are very unsettling moments, but once the day starts I am fine, it’s the nights and early mornings when these thoughts come.
When I lie here in bed, extremely scared at what the future holds for me, then my life seems pretty unpleasant.
I am in lots of pain which I have almost become accustomed to now, what I find even worse is that my arms are so much weaker now.
Really hate that happening, not walking or being able to move is horrible enough, but feeling my arms getting weaker is even harder to cope with.
I have learned to accept my limitations over the last five years; recently my arms have become too weak for me to feed myself.
Even that I am learning to accept as long as I still have enough arm/hand function to steer my wheelchair.
Also hold my beaker, and most important of all keep typing and putting my arms around my darling Richie.