Friday, May 27, 2011

Being Positive About My Life

Marcel Janco.

I do my best to stay cheerful, be positive about my life, I like life and seeing people, being involved.

Last thing at night; before I sleep and first thing in the morning, when I am just awake I have scary thoughts.

Where I contemplate what will happen next, as I am once again conscious of all my pain, discomfort as well as all my limitations.

These are very unsettling moments, but once the day starts I am fine, it’s the nights and early mornings when these thoughts come.

When I lie here in bed, extremely scared at what the future holds for me, then my life seems pretty unpleasant.

I am in lots of pain which I have almost become accustomed to now, what I find even worse is that my arms are so much weaker now.

Really hate that happening, not walking or being able to move is horrible enough, but feeling my arms getting weaker is even harder to cope with.

I have learned to accept my limitations over the last five years; recently my arms have become too weak for me to feed myself.

Even that I am learning to accept as long as I still have enough arm/hand function to steer my wheelchair.

Also hold my beaker, and most important of all keep typing and putting my arms around my darling Richie.


Travelogue for the Universe said...

Hoping you have a great weekend. Keep cool, you have connected so many people around the world. we are a circle for you, praying for you and Richie to maintain and always praying the breakthroughs are just around the, mary

Gareth said...

Hi H@R, sad to read about all the pain your in but inspired that you can still find joy and things to make you smile. All the planting sounds really nice.BIG UPS Richie, hope the sweet peas are on the go, they have a beutiful scent and good to cut the flowers as it encourages more to come. Me working over this weekend and Bankholiday but thats fine. Hope you have a pleasent weekend and enjoy your friend visiting

Webster said...

Oh Herrad, I remember the beginning days (months) of my MS, when I was having one relapse right after another with no recovery time in between.

As I would get worse, I would say to myself, "I can handle this, but no more." Bot of course, more would happen, and again I would say, "I can handle this, but no more." Luckily for me that all happened at the beginning of my MS, and when my (dumb) neuro finally started treating my relapses, I responded positively.

Now, 30yrs. in, I'm not sure how I'm going to handle the inevitable decline. Hopefully half as well as you do. And I hope my husband copes half as well as Richie does with you as well.

Herrad said...

Hi Mary,
Thanks for your caring and supportive comment. Good to know we have so much support.

Hi Gareth,
Thanks for your comment,there is for sure lots to smile about still.
The plants Richie got are lovely, I think the sweet peas did not come, real shame, think it may be too late to try again?

Thanks both of you lovely friends for coming by.
I am ok during the day/evning just during the night if I can't sleep or wake too early then my thoughts can get somber.
Thanks for your support.

Herrad said...

Hi Webster,
I recognise those thoughts of I can handle this but no more.
Sadly here is always more but who knows maybe it will slow down.
I am sure you and tour darling will cope.
Thanks for coming by and for your comment.