Monday, May 23, 2011

A Place To Communicate Openly.

The Repast Of The Lion, 1907.
Henri Rousseau.
I read a friend’s blog today; she talked about giving a standard response when people ask her how she is.

Something, I recognise very well, especially when I had to stay in bed 24/7 in august 2008 because of a large pressure sore.

I could not cope with talking about how I was doing, I was simply too scared by the way my disease was progressing.

Frightened by how quickly I had developed such a nasty wound, which no one knew how long it would take to heal.

I often said I am ok when I was not, just did not want to get into every detail of how I was doing.

Sometimes I just wanted to get away from the whole situation, not constantly talk about my MS or how I felt.

It has taken away so much that I did not want it to take everything and dominate every aspect of my life, but of course it does.

I did learn after a few months in bed that constantly saying I am ok was pushing people away.

This got me thinking, I realised that for all sorts of reasons I needed to be open.

In early February 2009 I started to post everyday, this helped me to talk about what my life was like.

It gave me a place to communicate, allowed me to meet, make friends, give and get support, be part of the world.  


Gareth said...

Ok will try again it would.nt let me post.

Thank you for being Fabulous and frank. I even find I say I,m fine, when Im not. Learning to be more honest and say if I,m a bit down or feeling shit It actually helps.

ps- I,m feeiling fine Honest:)

FrankandMary said...

No matter how I ever feel,I say I am fine or ok around people I barely know who are just gives them something to do.

So much of any illness is procedurally complex and explaining is sometimes right up against impossible...& draining. I found that when people asked about my dad's illness.

I think your postings help your readers as well. We actually want to know how you are.~Mary

Rhapsody B. said...

Many times people give the standard "am ok" because many people who are asking don't really want to know they are just being polite.

I guess you have to assess based on your knowledge of the person if they are being sincere or just making conversation and you answer accordingly. The truth is we all have something, some ache, some pain, some trial, some challenge it all depends on if we feel we can truly share openly with whom we are communicating with. The other thing is you have to ask for what you want, speaking from the view point of someone who has a friend with MS there is a sense of helplessness I feel especially since I have known her for years before and see the progress of the disease as it takes a told on her. As a way of not continually asking the same old dry 'how are you?' I ask, 'is there anything i can do for you?' and let her take the lead.

Herrad said...

Hi Gareth,
Glad you tried again and left your lovely comment.
Also glad you are fine :)

Hi Mary,
Thanks for your supportive comment I agree with what you say about illness being too complex to make a quick comment.Also agree that with people I do not know ok can be enough but it was good friends who really wanted to know.

Hi Rhapsody,
Thanks for your supportive and informative comment.
I am going to ask friends that call me on the phone or visit to ask me if I need them to do something that is I think a better question.
Thanks for that.

Thanks to you 3 lovely friends for coming by good to see your comments.

janis said...

Love to you Dear Herrad♥