Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Small Achievements.



One Way Ticket To Hell.
Mark Wilkinson.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Wilkinson
 
I was aware of my mortality, but lying in bed this morning; I am becoming even more aware of the finite nature of my life.

Not surprising as my arms are getting weaker, my right shoulder is stiff, as well as at times extremely painful.

I can’t start my arm exercises now without Richie’s help, some days he just needs to lift my arm by my elbow.

Other days, like today Richie had to massage my arms and shoulders for about 10 minutes before he could successfully lift my arm, and I could grasp the handle above my bed.

Each time I begun a new set of exercises I had to get Richie’s assistance to carry on, he also needed to stretch my arms during one exercise

I already need help to eat, I can’t use cutlery, now I can’t hold my cup except briefly first thing in the morning.

These days I can just pull the top of my shoulders off my bed, I can also move my midriff, as well as my waist a little.

Small achievements but big to me especially right now when it feels like I am starting to lose all the functions that I still have.

It is scary feeling that things are slipping away from me, I hate it.






                             

7 comments:

Patrick said...

Hey Herrad! Powerful post. Glad you have Richie, everything is a little less scary when shared. Patti beyond being non-ambulatory has been unable to self move most of her torso for quite a while. ... Speaking of which I need to one person transfer that woman into her chair and off for an outing. Later!

Caregivingly Yours, Patrick

Rhapsody B. said...

Blessings.....

Oh bella, I can only empathize and my imagined thoughts are deverstating and does not begin to cover the reality you live. I wish I can offer you words that would lift you up and carry you through though I fear they are inadequate. The most I can say with sincerity is that you are in my thoughts, prayers and heart always.

Your struggles foretells the road of my best friend, it is selfish to say but how do I help her? What can I offer her that you think maybe of some help?

Take care my friend,God speed.

To Richie, thank you for taking care of her, thank you for being there, thank you for being the man you are. You are a man of great strength and courage.

FrankandMary said...

I had a friend who went through many similar things with Parkinsons. I never knew what to say..but that didn't mean I didn't want to hear about it..or that I didn't care. I very much wanted her to unedited vent; I was worried when she did not. ~Mary

Webster said...

I had an acquaintance who eventually become unable to move anything below her neck. Her husband left her, and she had to move into a nursing home. She didn't have a computer (this was maybe in 1991 when laptops were unheard of. She was left with TV on a set channel, or talk radio on her headphones. it was very difficult to visit her. What do you say? "How are you?" "What's new?" Nothing seems appropriate.

To say nothing of the buttons it pushes: there is my future.

Herrad said...

Hi Patrick,
You are right having someone to share with helps.

Hi Rhapsody,
Thanks for your kind words.
What you can do is be there for your friend, that is important.

Hi Mary,
That's exactly the right way to be.
I use my blog to vent.

Hi Webster,
It is scary, but everyone is different.

Thanks to you 4 dear friends for coming by, good to see your comments.
Love,
Herrad.

Kris said...

Sending you warm wishes Herrad... I hope things get better. You are in my thoughts.

-Kristen

Herrad said...

Hi Kris,
Thanks, nice to see your comment.
I hope today is a nice day for you.
Love,
Herrad