A Figure In Red And Blue.
I made a conscious decision because of how my mum used to reproach my dad; I decided that I did not want to be like that too.
Reproaching people was not something I wanted in my life, neither did I want to blame or be judgemental or be prejudiced.
Strange thing is that I manage with other people, I never reproach others, yet I can’t seem to stop reproaching myself.
When I was still at home I got the blame for most things, maybe I am just assuming that I am indeed to blame.
I must still think that somehow it must be me; I hope that I can stop giving myself a hard time like I do much too often.
Really hope I can stop this as it is such a waste of time, I think that slowly and surely I will stop reproaching myself.
Recently I have been quick to stop myself getting caught up in thinking something is somehow my fault, surely it must be.
With hindsight I can see now that my parents, like so many of their generation were badly scarred by the wars, WWl and WWll.
Their experiences had an impact on their lives and their families; they were only doing their best, not easy when you have been so damaged by wars like so many others. all doing their best.
I shall also do my best.