Feeling positive despite limitations.

 

Roberto Matta

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roberto_Matta 

Two appointments I was dreading one yesterday and one today went very well which was a tremendous relief for Richie and I.

The appointment yesterday was with my case manager as well as my advisor, they both work for the councils mobility Department.

They are both very good women, who have to work within tight parameters nevertheless they do as much as they can for me who is admirable.

2 other people were also present and they were Percy from Welzorg and Ruud from a company called Summit, they make the custom-built wheelchair backrest.

We were both not looking forward to this meeting however as soon as Jacqueline my case manager arrived the appointment started positively.

She suggested we make a list of all the things we did not like about the wheelchair, and there were many points all of which were noted.

By the time everybody was here the list was completed, at first the four of them turned their attention on the wheelchair examining it thoroughly.

Finally Percy said that there was nothing that his company Welzorg can do to improve the wheelchair finally there were no more prevarications.

Right away Jacqueline decided that the only cause of action now was that I needed a new wheelchair.

This means a new supplier so I do not have to deal with Welzorg anymore about my wheelchair which was fantastic news this cheered me up tremendously.

On the 30^th of January I have an appointment at 1400 with Annelies my advisor and somebody from the new wheelchair supplier Beenhakker to discuss the new chair.

In the meantime Ruud from Summit will temporarily adjust the backrest on the wheelchair, as soon as it known which wheelchair I will get he will make a custom built backrest for the new wheelchair.

Richie and I are very pleased with how things went yesterday this really is progress and this time we will make sure the new wheelchair is a good one.

At 1200 today I have an appointment with the doctor from the rehabilitation clinic as well as Milou the wound nurse.

This was the appointment I was dreading the most as I knew that Janneke the Dr was going to cut some hard skin off around the edges of the wound.

In order to stop myself lying awake all night thinking about it I took a sleeping tablet which worked very well.

The procedure seemed to take forever luckily I don't feel a thing nevertheless I was relieved when it was all over as it's not my favourite activity.

Janneke was very positive about the wound saying it was looking good and nearly healed up which was good news.

Hopefully trimming off the hard edges will help the wound to finally heal; it would be great if that were to happen at the same time as I get my new wheelchair.

Despite my increasing limitations I'm feeling very positive about the future and I'm looking forward to being able to get about again.

Precious moments.

                  

Roberto Matta

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roberto_Matta      

After I had written Friday’s post I found a piece of artwork by Roberto Matta and tried to publish on my blog sadly everything froze which was frustrating.

Deciding there was no need to panic I closed up my laptop thinking that I would be able to put the blog post on my blog on Saturday afternoon.

As usual everything went differently on Saturday so I did not spend any time using my laptop that day nor on the Sunday, nevertheless I managed to relax and enjoy the weekend.

Slowly I am beginning to understand that there's not much I can do when things either go wrong or don't go according to plan, its better that I remain relaxed.

However it is not always easy for me to keep calm and be patient, that is not really me as I am very impatient person, despite that I have learnt how to deal with it.

The weekend despite not going according to how I wanted was extremely enjoyable, Richie and I laughed a lot and dogs were very happy too.

today I'm just enjoying the fact that I've been able to access my laptop, check my e-mails and write my blog, hopefully also my Dutch blog.

Richie took the dogs for a long run to the Amsterdam Woods, where I'm sure they are having a fine time, as I am being able to write this.

The other thing that I have learnt very clearly is that it is important to enjoy everything possible to make the most of every precious moment.

Friday, 11 January, 2013. The tipping point.

Roberto Matta
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roberto_Matta

Writing yesterday was very enjoyable it made me feel a lot better; it is so good to have an outlet for my thoughts as well as my feelings.

I was very touched that I received so many supportive comments from blog friends, it was really lovely to see them all, and I was very moved by them.

Thank you for visiting and leaving your comments I really appreciate it so very much, probably more than I can express in words.

While I'm writing this I got the television on without the sound, it is the Antiques Roadshow on BBC two, a programme I like watching a lot these days.

It’s been a relaxed day to day, my pain as being managed well using THC, which I inhale using a vaporiser which is better for the lungs then smoking.

At the moment Richie has taken the dogs for a charge around the Rembrandt Park as well as plenty of playing with sticks and each other.

When they get home Richie is going to make us a delicious dinner of toad in the hole with roast potatoes, roast parsnips, cabbage and gravy.

Which I'm looking forward to, it's just the weather for it too as it has got a lot colder today, temperatures plunging from 10° to 5° and 3° tonight.

I have a lot of things swirling around in my mind that I want to write about, and am planning to do just that in the next days.

One of them is the death of the young promising medical student as a result of the brutal rape on the bus; there is quite rightly a lot of anger in India and elsewhere in the world.

It seems that this is the tipping point for the position of women in India and worldwide, hopefully 2013 will be the year when women stop being second class citizens.

Today I am taking it easy and just enjoying getting back into writing my blog regularly, I'm going to stop now and publish my post and enjoy the evening with my Darling Richie is tipping point

Taking one day at a time.

 

Roberto Matta

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roberto_Matta 

Getting back into writing my blog every day is proving more difficult than I thought, especially when everything seemed to be going against me.

Last Thursday when I wrote my first post since I stopped blogging on the 11^th of December I was very happy until I tried to post it on my blog.

I had chosen a picture by Roberto Matta, however when I went place it on my blog everything froze and nothing would cooperate with me.

After a while I tried to publish my blog post without the artwork but that did not work, in the end I was so frustrated that I decided it was better to stop and try again another time.

However everything went differently to how I planned and I did not manage to get back to using my laptop until Monday this week.

Then I was surprised to see that my blog post despite all the problems had been published on my blog just without artwork and a title and labels.

After I added the missing artwork, title and labels I realised I would have to stop as my index finger was not cooperating with me.

So I reluctantly shut down the laptop and decided to relax which is not always as easy as it should be, but I did my best.

Luckily this week I've been able to do my arm and leg exercises Motomed without the discomfort I have been experiencing in previous weeks.

Because the curvature of my spine is progressing it means that the backrest on my wheelchair does not fit me well anymore and does not support me as it should.

The result in recent weeks has been the I am sitting leaning to the left which is not a pleasant way in which to do 45 minutes of exercises.

I was getting quite downhearted thinking in due course I would not be able to do these exercises which are vital for my well-being.

Luckily Richie has been able to sit me in a wheelchair in such a way that I am able to do the exercises on the Motomed without any discomfort.

Hopefully my joy will be made complete when I can successfully publish this blog post with artwork, title and labels tonight, then I will be happy.

Taking a break.

Roberto Matta.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roberto_Matta 

When I decided to take a break from blogging on 11th of December I did not intend to stop for as long as I have, as it's now three weeks ago that I wrote a blog post.

On 11th of December there was a lot going on here, we had the unexpected visit from a good friend John, who we had not seen since 1993 apart from a brief visit in 1999.

It was quite incredible; it was very emotional but lovely to see him again after all these years, a very special visit from a special person who is a close friend of Richie’s.

When I decided to take a holiday from blogging I only meant to stop during John's visit which was from 8th of December until 16th of December.

On the day after John left I decided to extend my time off from blogging to enjoy the days before the winter solstice and then Christmas before writing again.

Apart from time off from blogging I wanted to see what life would be like without my laptop and my connection to the outside world via the Internet.

I discovered that I can live without my laptop and the Internet; however my conclusion is that I can live without but I'd rather not have to do so.

I still have so much that I would like to write about, during my time off there were days when I could feel that I was overflowing with ideas for my blog posts.

Last night I decided I would start blogging again from today; it's not easy as my left index finger which I rely on is not functioning well, and is becoming inactive.

I should have made more of an effort learning how to use the Seetech computer in August instead I chose to write using Dragon voice recognition.

So now I have a problem because I can not use the laptop like I used to and it is very frustrating to feel that my index finger won't work that is so frustrating.

There is nothing worse than sitting in front of my laptop unable to click on any items or to scroll down or to surf the net or do anything much.

The Seetech computer worries me, however I will not let fear rule me and I intend to learn how to use the Seetech computer so I can keep writing and communicating.

I have not only missed the writing I have also missed the communications with blog friends who have become important for me, I'm glad to be writing again today.

Join the conversation.

.Roberto Matta.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roberto_Matta 

It is very good John is staying here with us, it is nice to hear Richie talking with him in the front room, that is when he is not in the here with me.

My physiotherapist Matilda was here this afternoon 1400 for my Monday physiotherapy session.

She left at 1430 and I've been trying ever since to get my post dictated to the voice recognition software which was not easy.

Mainly because either the Dragon voice recognition software just did not cooperate with what I was dictating and just seemed to invent words.

Or because John was in the here wanting to talk and Richie would come in as well and before I knew it was a wonderful three-way conversation.

I'm going to stop now and look for artwork by Roberto Matta I will publish this on my blog and join the conversation.

A Special Occasion,

 

Roberto Matta.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roberto_Matta 

Yesterday Richie was very busy all day with me, the dogs and shopping for us and for our visitor who we were looking forward to a lot.

It was very exciting waiting for 20.00 when John said he would be here, and he was, it was very nice to see him again after so long.

We came to the conclusion that we had not seen each other since 1998 when we were still living at the Haarlemmer Dijk, before we moved in 2000.

Seeing John again was so natural, it did not seem like 14 years ago it felt like we had only seen each other a few weeks ago.

Good to be able to relate to each other just like we always did, nice to feel so relaxed in each other's company.

Richie is cooking dinner for the three of us, John brought us some vegetarian haggis, most of it is in the deep freeze, Richie has made some for us tonight.

Which we will eat with mashed potatoes and swede which is what is traditionally eaten on Burns night in January on Robert Burn’s birthday.

It really is lovely to see you a good friend like John again, I'm so very glad that he is here visiting us, this really is a special occasion being reunited with such a good friend.

Happy Anticipation .

 

Roberto Matta.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roberto_Matta 

Two weeks ago we suddenly got a phone call from John a good friend of Richie's, from the oil rig where he is working, telling us that he would be coming to see us for a visit.

The visit was planned for the 8th of December for a week, which he hoped was okay with us, as he did not want to make problems for us.

We immediately reassured him that it was not a problem in fact it was the opposite; it was excellent news that he was finally coming to visit us after all these years.

it is absolutely not a problem to have such a good friend of both of ours, visiting us here, in fact it is the opposite it is a pleasure to have him visiting us in Amsterdam after all these years.

On Wednesday John phoned us to tell us that he was still on the oil rig due to the fact that unexpected snowfall meant he could not get a flight back to Glasgow.

He hoped that it was going to still be possible to get a flight back home to Glasgow, but may be it would have to be postponed until a later date; he promised that he would keep us informed.

We didn't hear anything more until around 1200 today when the phone rang and it was John to tell us that he would be arriving approximately at 1900 this evening.

Now we are both looking forward to seeing him again, how very typical of John to suddenly come and visit us, I think it is going to be a very good weeks visit.

Not gone to plan.

Roberto Matta.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roberto_Matta 

It is amazing how today has totally not gone according to our plan; we were going to be ready for a good friend Anja visiting us around 15.00 this afternoon.

Anja rang just after lunchtime to say that because of the unexpected snowfall, where she lives there was over 20 cm of snow.

Apparently the bus service was not working at all well so she would not be able to get into Amersfoort in order to catch a train to Amsterdam.

Sadly the proposed visit had to be postponed until next week Friday when hopefully the weather will allow Anja to get to us in Amsterdam West.

My plan had been to get my blog posts done so that I could concentrate on other things, now I'm just going to do what I can and enjoy the evening.

Enjoying Life.

 

Roberto Matta.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roberto_Matta     

Yesterday was the first time since I began writing my blog every day in February 2009 that I did not write a blog post.

This was because I was getting too involved in introspective thoughts, thoughts which would just go round in circles.

Yesterday I wanted to do something different to break the cycle, and it worked instead of writing I spent the day relaxing and enjoying the world around me.

It reaffirmed again for me why it is important to enjoy and make the most out of each precious moment.

Enjoying the moment is really what life is all about; sometimes like yesterday I need reminding that it's not a cliché but reality, it is important to enjoy life.

Optimism and Later Jools Holland.

 

Roberto Matta.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roberto_Matta 

Yesterday in late evening when Richie took me to the bathroom to change my clothes for pyjamas, he had a look at my pressure wound.

He happily reported to me that the area around the wound was still nicely dry which was good hopefully it will mean that the wound will heal soon.

We are both happy about this and optimistic that when Milou returns on the 12^th of December there will be progress which is noticeable to her.

Right now Richie has taken the dogs to the Rembrandt Park so that they can run and play before returning home contented.

Before he left Richie prepared our evening meal, on his return all you have to do is some finishing touches and then we can eat, I can't wait as it smells delicious.

Later on tonight there will be the last edition of Later with Jools Holland on BBC2 which both Richie and I are looking forward to immensely.

Sadly that will be the last programme until the on Hogmanay show on 31 December, which we and many others will be waiting for with eager anticipation.

No recognition.

 

Roberto Matta.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roberto_Matta 

Today I've been having a dreadful time trying to get my Dragon voice recognition to start responding to my dictation.

It is now 20.06 and the English version of Dragon NaturallySpeaking finally is hearing my voice, it's a relief that I am finally able to write my blog post.

So frustrating because I've been trying to dictate a piece since not long after 1809 tonight, blimey that two hours lost trying to get the voice recognition to recognise my voice.

Ah well I guess once again all is well that ends well, I've nothing could moan about now that it's working again and I can dictate as much as I like.

Of course what has happened is that what I meant to write about is not going to happen tonight, not now because the recent events came in between.

I'm sure I will be able to remember tomorrow when I will endeavour to write about what was on my mind before Dragon voice recognition let me down so badly.

Richie has taken the dogs to the Rembrandt Park, they should be back any time now, in fact they are here now, they look ecstatic as well as very wet.

I'm going to stop writing now and look for another wonderful piece of artwork by Roberto Matta, as soon as I post this I'm going to relax and enjoy the evening with Richie.

If Only Dreams Came True.

 

Roberto Matta.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roberto_Matta 

Today I've been quite introspective which is not surprisingly given my situation of having multiple sclerosis and curvature of the spine.

Right now I don't want to be involved solely with my thoughts, that is why writing my blog has been and still is a very important part of my daily life.

Writing my blog has been crucial for me, I think it has helped to strengthen my resolve to enjoy everything that I can while I can.

It has put me in touch with lovely people from all over the world and that has been wonderful, it is so good to be able to get to know other bloggers.

The support I've received has been quite phenomenal and I appreciate all of it very much, I also enjoy being able to support other bloggers too.

I think that being able to support each other is absolutely essential for us as human beings; we need a society where mutual aid is central.

That would be much better than the society we have right now where everyone is competing against each other.

We all do so much better when we cooperate with each other for our mutual benefit, if only this were possible what a beautiful world it would be for us all.

Right now this is my dream hopefully it is one that is shared by others and it will be reality someday soon, for now I'm going to keep the dream alive.

Reasons To Be Cheerful.

 

Roberto Matta.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roberto_Matta 

Surprisingly after the miserable cold wet day yesterday that to day was a pleasant looking day to day with blue skies as well as sunshine.

Not the day I'd expected it to be, I thought we would get more rain seems we've got lucky.

It was very noticeable how difficult life has become for me recently, despite this Richie and I still manage to have a laugh which is wonderful.

The curvature of my spine is making everything more complicated; now that I have again managed to cope with being showered and dressed I am sanguine about life.

At the moment Richie is in the kitchen making dinner, which will be a delicious cottage pie with shards of cheese on top of the mash potatoes.

I'm looking forward to eating dinner and then not too long afterwards being able to enjoy Tuesday edition of later with Jools Holland on BBC2.

They are reasons enough for me to be cheerful about life on this very dark Tuesday early November evening, plenty of reasons to be cheerful.

Being Philosophical.

 

]Roberto Matta.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roberto_Matta 

Roberto Matta.

It has been extremely frustrating to use Dragon voice recognition this afternoon as well as this evening, until now 19.35 I could not dictate my text.

What amazed me is the fact that I kept calm and cool however there was nothing I could do except wait for the Dragon voice recognition to work.

Which it has, finally it’s started to type in the words I am dictating, what relief as I was beginning to think that wouldn't be able to write anything today.

I was trying to be philosophical about it although that was incredibly difficult for me to do especially as I never like to miss writing my blog even for one day.

My other frustrations just now were with the fact that I could not pay for something using PayPal as they also seemed to have a problem.

I decided to stop trying to pay now and to return to it later on this evening and if that doesn't work then I will try to pay tomorrow.

The other thing that was not working for me was trying to ring a good friend, Gareth.

To let him know that we are thinking about him, his mother and his brother and sister now that his beloved father has died.

Over the weekend I had somehow added an extra digit to his telephone number which was the reason I could not get through on Saturday and Sunday.

Gareth has just phoned me, however I had to phone him back as he could not hear me, it was good to talk to him especially because of his dad.

Hopefully the last thing that was frustratingly will finally work with me in a minute and I can pay via PayPal for the item I have ordered.

I'm so glad that I have not let these annoying and frustrating things get to me much better to remain calm and wait for everything to improve.

Which it did do, then I received the phone call from Gareth, it was good to talk to him and let him know that Richie and I are thinking about them.

Tomorrow Is Another Day.

 

 Roberto Matta.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roberto_Matta 

The weekend is flying by as it always does; it is nearly 20.00 on Sunday already which given that time is flying by feels like it is going at double speed this time.

Last night we were up late to watch Match of the Day on BBC with all the football games from the Premier league.

Following that was the Football League Show which shows all the football games from the Championship as well as League One games.

Afterwards we got talking and totally forgot track of the time so we stayed up much longer than we would ever have intended to do so.

Consequently we slept until quite late today as we were both very tired, it was a shame as both of us had planned things we wanted to do today.

Never mind tomorrow is another day so I'm not going to reproach myself about today, what would the point be in that.

would be no point and the only thing it would achieve would be to make me feel miserable and Richie too.

Instead of wasting my time beating myself up I'm going to look for some artwork after which I will publish this on my blog.

Then I'm going to relax and enjoy the evening, tomorrow I will get on and do the things I'd planned to do today, right now I'm enjoying the evening.

A Pleasant Friday.

 

Roberto Matta. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roberto_Matta

It's been a very pleasant day to day which was made even nicer because my best friend Anja came to visit this afternoon.

She recently visited her daughter who is living and working in Barcelona for a three-day visit which she enjoyed enormously.

Nice to hear her account of her trip, it gave me a snapshot of what it was like to visit such a vibrant city as Barcelona is.

I had the pleasure of being there for a weekend in 1967, my parents and I were staying in Calafel on the Costa Dorada, where we met a nice Spanish family.

Who invited me to accompany them and their teenage kids for a quick visit to their house in Barcelona, it was an unforgettable experience for me at age 17.

All too quickly it was 1700 and my lovely friend Anja had to leave, she is going to see well-known Dutch people try their hand at conducting an orchestra.

Anja brought us a couple of vacuum packed Spanish cheeses as well as a spicy, garlicky chorizo which I've already tried and it's delicious.

Richie is planning on making jacket potatoes and stew tonight, in my portion he is going to put some diced chorizo which I am sure will taste good.

My intention is to relax and enjoy the evening with Richie; I'm looking forward to what sounds like a delicious dinner.

At midnight there is the extended version of Later with Jools Holland on BBC2 to make the day even better, lovely to have such a nice perspective.

First I shall find another great piece of art by Roberto Matta after which I am going to publish it on my blog and spend the evening relaxing.

Time Flies By.

 

Roberto Matta.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roberto_Matta 

This morning's  it was quite overcast, with an occasional glimpse of pale blue sky in between the clouds.

That was at 10.00 this morning, at 1100 I was being showered by Richie, the plan was to be ready for 1200 when Milou, the wound nurse would be here.

At 1200 I had been showered and was half dressed, just my top half, so that all the nurse and to do was check how the wound was progressing on my bottom.

Milou said that she was pleased to see that it was much smaller than it was previously, this is good news indeed, if only the last 2 mm would heal quickly.

We have a new appointment for the 28^th of November; it would be absolutely brilliant if more progress has been made by then, my fingers are crossed.

What a lovely surprise when I was brought back into the bedroom by Richie, to see that the clouds had gone and were replaced by blue sky and sunshine.

Before Richie put me back into bed, I was sprayed with Yves St Laurent perfume which is a lovely light fragrance, just the thing for a sunny day like today.

Now that it's 1700 the blue sky is slowly fading away as dusk draws in, the time is flying by as usual and it soon will be Christmas once again.

Right now I'm going to concentrate on today and enjoy every moment of it together with Richie and our three happy Jack Russell terriers.

A Different Complexion

 

Roberto Matta.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roberto_Matta 

It's only 18.15 right now, yet it feels like it was already 02.15 and before Richie closed the curtains it looked like it too.

This afternoon at 14.15 I had an appointment with Peter, the engineer from the rehabilitation clinic, to try the new wrist supports with a hook on each which he made for me.

This allows me to keep using the arm exerciser on the Motomed, which is very good as it stretches my arm muscles, which is essential for my well-being.

Peter is a very good engineer, so I am looking forward to trying out the new wrist supports in a while when I do my exercises when Richie gets me out of bed.

Right now Richie is about to take the dogs for a run around the Rembrandt Park where I'm sure they will have fun chasing rabbits back to their burrows.

Just now I realised that as its Tuesday there will be another edition of Later with Jools Holland on BBC2 at 2300 tonight.

That is very exciting and it has put a totally different complexion on the day knowing that I will be listening to some good news before too long.

Only three hours to wait, that is not long but to me being very impatient it seems like forever.

My father used to tell me a little rhyme which went something like this, patience is a virtue, virtue is a grace and Grace is a little girl who did not wash her face.

In Germany they have a saying which goes something like this, patience is a virtue and that is a nice virtue but that we are better off without it.

I like both of these sayings although the one my dad told me used to worry me slightly as a little kid until I understood then it made me laugh a lot.

It still makes me laugh a lot after all these years as do many other colourful stories that my father told me, he was a great storyteller who I miss hearing his stories.

A Sunny Monday Morning.

 Roberto Matta.

 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roberto_Matta

This morning when we woke up and Richie opened the curtains we saw blue sky, beautiful sunshine which was a lovely way to start the new week.

Sadly by the time it was 1400 and Matilda, my physiotherapist arrived are appointment the sunshine, blue sky was gone replaced by a thick cloud cover.

Before the appointment was finished, our friend Anne had arrived to visit me; she very kindly had obtained information about holidays for the handicapped.

She had received a brochure from the Red Cross about holidays for the handicapped, in a choice of four hotels as well as a boat holiday.

It was very kind of Anne to look for this information however when she was describing the holidays on offer I realised that were not me.

I'm sure that for people who like organised holidays would probably enjoy what was on offer, but I know I would not enjoy one of these.

Never have I wanted to stay in a hotel for a holiday, for me it would not be a luxury to do so, quite the contrary I think.

The idea of a fully catered holiday does not fill me with joy; it makes me apprehensive as I'm sure I would not like the food that would be served.

sadly most times that I've eaten at restaurants here in Amsterdam have been pretty disappointing, over time I learned to take my pepper sauce with me.

So hearing about fully catered holidays in hotels organised by the Red Cross filled me with absolute dread.

The next time I see Anne I will thank her again and I will tell her that the Red Cross holidays are not for me.

On Thursday when Matilda is here for our physiotherapy appointment I will ask her if on the other people she visits might like the brochure.

Recycling is a good thing to do; now I'm going to look for a painting by Roberto Matta and post this, after which I'm going to enjoy the evening with Richie.