Saturday, July 11, 2009

Gareth's Photos from Wales.

Got woken up by the containers being hoisted and then emptied into a waiting lorry, took ages or so it seemed to me lying in bed.

As soon as the lifting gear started up it woke me and approximately 5 to 8 minutes later it finally hoisted the container in the air.

Then it was all over and quicker than it had started and the street was peaceful once again, shame that just as I was about to drift off to sleep again my feet started kicking.

Any remnants of sleep were kicked clear out of the bed and my task now was to try to lie in the bed as quietly as possible.

Difficult with the kicks and twitches of my feet and the fact that a couple of leg spasms had pulled me quite a way down the bed.

Then my arms got in on the fun, my arms were at my side one minute and the next were on my chest and folded really tight.

So tight that I could not prise them apart at first, they really locked down as tightly as can be, not nice and very painful.

Just when this eased up, meant doing double arm exercises, I again had a whole series of leg spasms.

Leg spasms were the reason that I fell over so often in the years before diagnosis, of course at the time I did not know that was the cause of my falling.

Decided that might be the best possible explanation for why people fall repeatedly but do not know why this happens to them.

From around 20002 I fell every year and always there was a good reason like the boat had not moored so closely and the gap between boat and mooring was too wide so had to hop over and did that badly and slipped and fell.

Other high risk moments were walking in the park after 30 minutes my feet would be dragging, but once I could rest I would be fine again.

Now I know that each time that I fell over it was preceded by a leg spasm but one that was not detected by me at the time.

Remember how cross I was at my last workplace each time that I fell, as one minute I was walking and the next I was flat on my face, sprawled all over the place.

Each time I was furious and each time I picked myself off the ground, refusing all help and stomped furiously home.

The time I had broken the cartilage in my right knee was pretty dramatic and what was also dramatic was how I managed to get home.

Was so adrenalized up that I didn’t really feel the pain until I had got home, remember that my knee was pretty bashed up and cut and scrapped.

Richie insisted on some basic first aid which had me screeching with pain, great fun a home coming like that.

Now years later it all makes sense at the time had not got a clue what was happening to me.

Realise now that I was getting to the limit of my walking and that was about to stop, really thought in 2006 that I would be able to hobble about for quite awhile.

Oh well that was then and this is now, it is ok to remember but not good to get s tuck in the past, would be too painful and a waste of a beautiful day like today.

The temperature is going up again much to the pleasure of our neighbours especially the kids who are playing outside.

All sounds very pleasant and relaxed which is what I intend doing hope you are all having a relaxed Saturday.


Cranky said...

Herrad - glad to hear the weather should be pleasant there for you today. We're having a beautiful day here, too. Heading to Cape Cod to visit my parents today, so glad for the lovely weather.

Love - Cranky

Anonymous said...

Beautiful photos of Wales! Herrad, you sound like me, when I hurt myself, I get peeved and way too stubborn. You're so right about not getting stuck in the past, I did that for way too many years and it was like a living nightmare. I'm glad your weather is nice today, mine is too! I hope you have a nice evening, and I want to know if you're still on the chocolate diet?

Herrad said...

Hi Cranky,
Have a good day at your parents at Cape Cod.
What a beautiful place to live.

Hi Rain,
Its getting quite hot again have the fan right by my bed.
I am still on the chocolate diet get me rations everyday from Richie.

Have a great Saturday.

Richie said...

you were always so hard on yourself when you fell over- you fell pretty hard too, just pole-axed, no chance to save it. it was so quick from a limp to a wheel chair. it still feels unreal.

robert said...

Good morning Herrad,
please allow me to take a couple of 'steps' for you tomorrow.

Have a great weekend.

(bit of lost of words, nevertheless feels good)

Anonymous said...

Richie's comment mentions your being hard on yourself in the past. I think you may be hard on yourself presently as well(I was like that in my caregiving) and I get how difficult it is to break that, but you really have very little to be hard on yourself about. You do a lot with what you have, many don't.

Looking back is natural, but you certainly don't wallow. From reading you I can see you have learned(for the most part, no one is perfect) to live NOW. ~Mary

Herrad said...

Hi Richie,
Always harder on myself than anyone else could be.

It still feels unreal very unreal.

Hi Robert,
Please take some 'steps' for me.
Enjoy Sunday, hope it is a good day.

Hi Mary,
I am trying to stop being hard on myself but it is not easy at all.

Keep trying and feel I am not so critical of myself and when I am.

I can just ignore the thought and chose not to think it.

Have really noticed the benefits of living now.

Hope everyone has a good Sunday.