Friday, July 24, 2009
Some days are different than others.
Pictures of Amsterdam.
Had planned my day totally different to how it started, had meant to write a post for my blog not long after I had done my arm exercises and Richie had done the leg exercises and massage.
I had intended to write about my relationship with Richie and how I am so very happy that he is here with me, and I do not have to go through this shit alone.
Instead Richie discovered on lifting my left leg to do the first set of leg exercises that I had pooped in the bed, this really shook me up and I hope this is not the beginning of daily bowel incontinence.
Something that I have been dreading for ages, no wonder I woke up early this morning in such great discomfort.
I just thought I had my usual rather sudden waking up caused by a combination of a violent leg spasm and a rubbish container being cranked up and emptied into the waiting truck.
Now I realise that I got woken up by the urgent need to go to the toilet, these days I can not read the various signals my body tries to give me.
This is because I get so many signals most of which are about nothing as the myelin around my nerves becomes pretty non existent.
All day and night I have feelings of great pain travelling around my body, most of which are not relevant as there is no actual pain.
I took each pain very seriously until I noticed that a violently painful shoulder would be ok after 2 or 3 minutes but then my ankle would now be hurting.
Or my right wrist or it would start up in my back and travel right down my body and back up.
The other thing has happened because of lying in bed for so long is that I am both sensitive and insensitive.
Something’s I can not feel and other things like a tiny, almost unseen wrinkle in the sheet goes off like a ten gun salute and once woken up I will not be able to sleep unless Richie comes over and pulls the sheet until the wrinkle has gone.
Often I feel something that is not there which makes it difficult for Richie to resolve for me so I can get back to sleep and hopefully he can too.
Now that I have been in bed for so long the muscles in my back have not been used and have got very weak indeed.
Difficult for me to do too much to change the situation until I can sit in the wheelchair, as both in bed as well as in the shower chair I am reclining and not sitting.
Because of how severe the wound was I was not allowed to put any strain whatsoever on that area.
So have been reclining and in fact sort of sitting on my lower back, guess how the rich Romans used to eat reclining.
It is an uncomfortable way to sit and I have been doing my best to cope with it but will be even happier to be able to sit properly again soon.
Richie was brilliant as always this morning; he got me out of bed with the minimum of discomfort.
Then he proceeded with is usual tact,m to clean me up, showering me and dressing the tiny wound and then liberally oiling my legs with almond oil which is lovely feeling and a delightful fragrance.
He dressed me and after I finished I did my daily 30 minutes of leg exercises at the Motomed, had just finished when my lovely visitor our good friend Jeanet came to see us.
A lovely visit and very pleasant way to recover from the rather stressful start to our day.
It could have been a lot more upsetting and stressful but luckily Richie is so very sensitive and caring that even this horrid situation gets dealt with so gently by him, that I did not get unduly upset.
It remains an unpleasant situation which I find really upsetting but no longer think that I will be treated differently now.
Not easy but I am determined to not just enjoy and make the best of things but to also keep valuing myself and appreciating myself and to realise other people do too.