Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Woke up, and just as I realised that I was awake I started to cry like a baby, it was an involuntary howl of despair and pain.
Richie was right over to me, putting his arms around me and stroking my forehead and kissing me gently.
The crying startled me too and it has made me realise that it is an automatic thing that is happening more often.
Makes me realise the big effort that I make in keeping positive and doing my best to be here and now and not be putting something automatically off to another date.
Think rain checks can often lead to bad habits which harm yourself only and that is an important message that I needed to learn..
Glad I started this blog in 2006, at the time I was in shock about the MS diagnosis, really glad our friend Cecile suggested starting a blog, as it was a very good suggestion.
At the time when I heard the words ‘’ Why don’t you start a blog’’ this filled me with panic, and then I got super worried, thinking what could I possibly have to say?
And who would want to read this and surely I am not good at writing could not possibly express myself well.
And so it went endless questions and panics until the day when my local pool which had just opened again after an expensive rebuild could not accommodate handicapped swimmers.
That was when I realised having a blog was having a voice and being able to use it, suddenly could really understand why a blog was good.
Now I can’t imagine my life without my blogs and the blogs I read.
My friend Cecile, who recommended I create a blog has got a blog
http://lacile.wordpress.com/ and is involved with Streamtime http://streamtime.org/ .
Both are very interesting and well worth a visit.
Have just encountered two more blogs that I really like one is Joan’s blog
Joan lives in Scotland, love her photos of flowers and birds and glimpses of the Scotland.
And the other is Chessie’s
Love the motorbike rides she goes on and the photos she takes o0f her trips.
It reminds me when I had a 250 cc Greeves, motor cycle, had a great time riding around on that bike.
Went to the Grand Prix Races at the Isle of Man in 1973 which was great fun, recall that after the days racing we would do the course and try and match the racers, well in our dreams we could beat them!
Despite the heat which has intensified all the pain and discomfort to an almost unbearable level I have still had a lot of pleasure already this week.
Seeing Marianne on Tuesdays is always a pleasure, she is such a nice kind woman, a real sweetheart.
She works with pre school kids and I am sure that they really love her; on her first visit in 2007 we went to the shops and the market.
On the way there we passed a group of young lads, all between 13 and 15 trying to look tough, until they saw Marianne and then it was cries of ‘’Hallo Juffrouw Marianne’’ turned out it was boys she has looked after at the crèche.
Thought this spoke very highly of Marianne if tough teenagers were delighted to say hello in public, mind you for all the pretend toughness they were sweet kids.
They even had abit of a verbal dispute as to which one would hold the shop door open for us and bade us farewell with huge beams.
You could see that they felt really good as a result of our encounter as we did too.
Think that is what we all do for each other, we acknowledge each other and each others story and that is the valuable element of the blog world we all validate ourselves and each other.
Our stories matter and need to be put there for ourselves and for each other.
Have a good day.