I am going to enjoy the moment.

In a total contrast to yesterday this morning has been very pleasant, we have had a very gentle and peaceful waking up.

I did wake with my usual little cry of pain, but that happens each morning as consciousness means that once again I am aware of the pain.

Richie got it soothed pretty quickly with some THC and then he got his morning coffee and drank it here in the bedroom playing with the dogs and chatting to me.

It has been very pleasant indeed, half way through he did the leg exercises and leg massage, after which he leaned and applied cream or a very nasty little yeast infection in a fold at the top of my left leg.

Happens because I am in bed so do not get good ventilation around my body; sweaty weather makes me damp and that collects in little folds in the skin.

You get more of these when you are in bed for awhile so it is good to be very aware of nasty yeast infections.

Think we did not notice it on time, I because I did not feel anything and Richie could not see it in the shower chair.

So from now on Richie will check the top o my left leg on a daily basis even after the infection has gone.

For now the treatment stings like crazy but have to endure as that is the only way to lose it quickly.

This hurt like hell last night when he applied the cream, felt like he had dripped acid onto my skin and I screeched appropriately.

Was really dreading him applying the cream today and knew it would happen after the leg exercises and was dreading it.

As it turned out it was not as bad as I had expected and yet in some ways it was also even worse.

Really so very glad that I never felt all these months of having the pressure wound treated and dressed, this happened twice a day for the first months.

Hated the routine but there was no way around it as it had to happen otherwise the wound would not heal.

Really was not prepared for how painful that was last night so much so that I nearly burst into tears.

Yesterday was a very emotional day and not surprising after pooping in the bed, incontinence is something we all dread.

Bowel movements are so fundamental and so personal and for it to not work as it always did is very disconcerting indeed.

And that is putting it very mildly indeed.

Have learned over the past 2 years that all the things that were personal are no longer personal as there is nothing that I can do on my own.

Richie helps me with everything even with my bowel movements, the lack of personal space and autonomy was really shocking at the beginning, not that I do not notice it now as I do.

It is that now it does not feel like a stab in the heart anymore but still gives me an ache for when I could be independent.

Oh well things can always get worse and I guess they will but for now I have given p looking into the future.

Now, right now the sun is shining and the sky is blue and there are happy kids screeching in delight on our street.

I am going to enjoy the moment.