Sunday, December 05, 2010

Determined To Seize And Enjoy The Moment.


 
Francis Picabia.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francis_Picabia

Finding it very difficult to not cry when thinking about Spike, it has made me realise how grief can make it so that the truth of a situation can be ignored.

Always wondered how that could work, when the facts were known, well yesterday finally I understood how that works.

While Richie was out with Spike and Marleen, I was answering mail and reading comments about our beautiful Jack Russell,  Spike and thinking about my wee champion.

Suddenly started crying and saying very loudly that I did not believe he was dying, that I would ignore the truth, the facts, that our boy Spike, would not die, not our Spike not now.

 Of course could not maintain the self deception for long, knew that it was my desire to have Spike be alive and here with us for another three years and that sadly the reality was going to be different.

Shocked Spike won’t be here snuggling up to Richie when I am dead, that is what I thought would happen.

Thought Richie would have Spike and Marleen to help him, keep him going out and distracted by demanding food, games and affection.

Never once had I imagined that Spike would be ill and it could not be cured by medicine or an operation.

Such a scenario was quite unthinkable, not our super fit little Jack Russell, our athlete is what our vet always called him.

This certainly gives even more meaning to seize the moment and enjoy the here and now.

It has made me more determined to enjoy every moment that I can enjoy, which is what I am going to do and never forget to do ever again.








9 comments:

janis said...

I am so sorry.
Losing my loves is always so hard and unfair. I can't imagine being in your shoes...thinking of how Spike & Richie would comfort each other when you are gone.
I do agree about seizing the moment. We never know what is around the corner & should enjoy & appreciate the NOW.
Love to you my friend~
puppy kisses & snuggles to Spike.

Cranky said...

Herrad - so, so sorry to read about Spike. Dogs bring so much love and joy to our lives but they just don't live long enough. Glad that, at least for now, he is still enjoying life.

Rhapsody B. said...

Blessings....

Wow, that is some heavy stuff. "Snuggle up to Richie when you are dead?" woooo....grieve has many faces and denial is a city we all invest in wholeheartedly. We can never predict when death will come knocking, who it will come for and why, it just does and we have to deal with it.

I hear that you are worried about Richie, that you assume you will go before everyone. There are no guarantees in life and seldom few can bargain with death. My uncle of 93 just passed and he thought for years he would died before everyone one. He outlived everyone.

One just never know and you are correct in your assessment when you say "seize the moment and enjoy the here and now." Now if we would only allow ourselves that.

Peace my friend and thank you for sharing.
My regards to Richie

Angie said...

Great to know your Spike still enjoys his life. Of course he doesn't know he's so poorly does he? Understandable though your grief is, be sure Spike doesn't get a sense of it.

Have Myelin? said...

I am so sorry Herrad. You know I understand...

Have Myelin? said...

Oh and I agree with Rhapsody B. After all, my daughter died before I did, didn't she?

Travelogue for the Universe said...

I am so sorry. Have the best day you can. Love, Mary

Gareth said...

Hi H@R really sorry to read about spike, want to come by and chuck his Kong for him and give you Both a HUGE HUG. Lots of Stregth Love @ HUGS
GXXX

Herrad said...

Hi Janis,
Thanks, also for reminding me to stay in the moment.
Spike is doing well right now, wish it had not affected his back legs as it has.

Hi Cranky,
You are right, shame dogs don't live longer as they are so uch part of our lives.

Hi Rhapsody,
You are right we never know what will happen next so we need to enjoy nolw, which I do manage quite well.

Hi Angie,
Agree with you it is best not to let Spike see our distress,
He played quite abit yesterday.
He is still enjoying his life.

Hi Sherry,
Thanks, I know you understand.
You and Rhapsody are right.

Hi Mary,
Thanksa for your goods wishess.

Hi Gareth,
Thanks for your sweet words.

Thanks all of you dear friends for coming by and supporting us.
Spike is still enjoying his life which is good to see.
Seeing your comments is very good, really helps tremendously.
Love,
Herrad