Thursday, December 02, 2010

Enjoy All The Precious Moments

John Stoa.
Scottish Artist.

There is a layer of snow on everything outside this morning, seems there was a light snow fall during the night.

 We did see it start to snow late last night not too long before Richie turned the lights off; this morning woke up early as it was freezing in the bedroom.

Richie jumped up and closed the window and put another blanket n me which helped me sleep on again which was very welcome.

Woke up later crying because of the pain in my arms, they hurt a lot now, so much more than even last month.

Getting quite scared about how my MS has accelerated just recently, maybe the sp catheter operation has made the progress faster but maybe it was happening anyway.

In 2006 my fingers started tingling but they still functioned alright, could put up with the pain in the morning and the clumsiness and lack of sensation if they still function.

Hate the pain and the weird feeling of having wooden arms up to the elbows, which is a strange sensation.

I am listening to BBC Radio 5 right now, they are discussing England’s World Cup bid for 2018.

Weird for me listening and thinking that my chances of being still alive then are tiny indeed, strange to think that, really odd to think that I may very well be alive to see the 2018 World Cup.

Very aware that what I have to constantly remind myself to stay n the present in the here and now and enjoy these precious moments.

 I am not a fortune teller so better not to speculate about time and dates but difficult for me not to wonder sometimes what will happen next.


janis said...

Good Morning Herrad~
Cold here in Indiana too. I took the dogs out & my big Coonhound had no interest of coming in. Sometimes I think her breed makes her just want to do the coonhound thing. She has always been a spoiled indoor dog, but on crisp mornings like today, she would rather sit on the frozen ground and just look around & smell the air. I have her on her lead, but have to keep checking on her. I miss the old house with the fence so she can roam the yard. We can only put wrod iron fences up here which is costly, so for now I walk the dogs, sit with them or let them use a lead. Otherwise she will wander off on a scent & prob get lost.
I am so sorry about the pain you are experiencing. I have learned much about MS from you. We have a dear friend that has it as well. John & Sergio have known each other for 40 years. John has been living w/ his mother for the past several years. He divorced shortly after the diagnost, and now needs consist assistance. His Mom is in her 80's and can no longer assist with most his needs. He has a wonderful aid that is dear to him. I havent seen him for a while, although Sergio visits. John doesnt want us wives around, & I respect that. I have been sharing your blog with sergio too. MS is such a cruel illness.
You make me realize that no one can predict our future. I am rather healthy, however, I could die today in a crash or heart attack. My Sergio means the world to me, yet, I do not know if I will have him forever.
I realize that I should live each day to the fullest & take nothing for granted. I can not tell you how much you inspire me & make me want to better myself.
I feel very Blessed to have stumbled upon your blog. Even more honored that I feel a friendship to you, even though we have never met.
Love to you~
Have a Blessed day♥

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Muffie said...

I think those of us with a chronic, progressive disease can't help but wonder what the future holds. That's a scary journey, and I only stay there briefly before I return to the here and now. Take care, Herrad.

steve said...

Sometimes it's easier to be strong for someone else than it is to be for oneself. You've got a lot of love to give, and sick dog ready to soak it all in. And when Richie's had enough, give some to Spike and Marleen, too. :-)

Webster said...

I take a look at the future, then I put it in a box on a high shelf so I don't want to bother getting it out for awhile. It's always there, though.

I'm sorry about your pain, but I suggest you take a little more baclofen. Call you doctor and see what she thinks. Meds are there for a reason. Your vaporizer might be of some help, too. Yeah, I know, nothing will stop the progression, but do up your meds rather than deal with the pain.

(((((Hugs)))) to you and Richie, and ear scratches for Spike and Marlene.

Travelogue for the Universe said...

Dear Herrad, you guide us how to live in the now and shrug off incredible pain and challenges, dependency,adversity. You challenge me to try to post something everyday even when I don't post. Your words and mine do have meaning and are to teach those coming after how important cure and treatment is. Richie and you show us the successes and hardships on both sides of spousal caregiving and maintaining the house and pets and personal and emotional care.Thanks for your precious words.Love, Mary

Karen said...

I am sorry you are in so much pain Herrad. Since the weather has turned cold here, I am experiencing a lot of pain as well.

I try to live in the moment, and not think about the future too much. All anyone has is the present.

I hope you have a better day tomorrow.


Gerry said...

I do think that you are dealing with what I am realizing as I read more accounts from those who suffer from it a tough frightening disease,
MS, but you are handling it about as well as anyone I can imagine. It is like your destiny to record your journey so however you adjust might help others who might not have your insight and the gift of describing very clearly progress that is inexorable but must be managed.

Herrad said...

Hi Janis,
Cold again here today, apparently our street is very icy and extremely slippery.
Shame about the fence, what about wood that looks like wrought iron?
So sorry to hear about Sergio's best friend John, how horrible for his marriage to be over once he was diagnosed with MS.
How cruel for him, shame his partner could not cope, she and he are missing out on so much.
I am glad you found my blog, really good to be friends with you.

Hi Muff,
I agree I too only look briefly and get back into the present very fast.
It is too worrying and nothing we can do about it.

Hi Steve,
Thanks for your sweet comment, you are right it it difficult to be strong for yourself.
I shall spread the love around.

Hi Webster,
You are right the future is best left up on a high shelf and peeked at briefly.
Have discussed baclofen with the doctor and she also thinks that I should remain on the 90 mg I am on.
For pain I am upping the thc, getting medicinal weed which is better.
Had more pain and spasms the other night because I did not do my leg exercises on the Motomed, forgot to do them, the result painful spasms all night.

Hi Mary,
Thanks for your lovely comment, you are right our words will help others about the importance of properly researched treatment and cure.

Hi Karen,
Thanks for the cold weather reminder, I totally forgot the cold weather.
And you are right, we all only have today, right now.

Hi Gerry,
Thanks for your excellent comment, and your insight and understanding.
This is such a shitty disease that I feel it is important to communicate how it affects me.
So want good research to be done that will find the cause and causes of this nasty disease.

Thanks to you 7 dear friends for coming by and visiting, good to see your comments.
I learned this week that skipping my Motomed leg and arm exercises causes more pain and heaps of leg spasms and arm cramps.
I will not forget again.
I think that all our blogs are very important, they inform and support each other which is crucial.
What we need is research that is done by non profit making researchers who are looking for the causes.
Drug companies just have a brief to create new products and create new dependencies.
Funny people do not seem to see them for what they are which is drug dealers, just like the tobacco and alcohol companies they too are drug dealers the only difference between them and street dealers is they have the official franchise.
Onwards and upwards and hopefully researchers will find a cure one day.
Keep warm and safe.
Have a good weekend.