Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Swans, Cots And Gulls.
Another good night’s sleep without Spike in the room, poor wee dog tries to hide under my bed in the hope Richie does not see him.
He won't even react to a call of biscuit, if only to become even quieter and try to make himself invisible.
Last night he was gently herded out of the room and tucked up in his bed with a biscuit all of which he would have gladly given up for the cold, hard floor under my bed.
What a wonderful dog my Spike is, he really is my little hero, a splendid little friend.
Feel sad he has to leave the room, but it is so good for me, much better for me to be able to drift off to sleep without any problems.
If Spike is in the room, he can't lie still like Marleen, he has to get up walk around and shake himself, at least three times every night.
That's 3 times I get woken up and if there are things that I need to do they will flood into my mind.
That is also when every pain becomes more noticeable and I wish that I could move.
I can't do that so lie here and feel everything twice as much, notice how I am tracking each pain, noting when the pain becomes more intense.
My arms now when compared to last year are more difficult to use, feel like they are hard to lift, all actions are intense struggles.
Find myself wondering for how long, and being very happy when another day has arrived and I can still use my hands and arms.
Now I try not to calculate what I have not got and can't do but what I can do.
The half full cup not the half empty cup, it does make a big difference indeed.
It means that I can enjoy moments like now when the sky is blue and the sun is shining wsithout any thoughts of the future.