Tuesday, August 31, 2010
If Only Being Positive Could Help We Would All Be Cured.
It was excellent meeting Heather yesterday, she was here for three hours in the afternoon, and she is a delightful young woman, a credit to her parents and to her country.
She is very intelligent, calm and self assured, I think she would be an excellent person to have in a team; she struck me as being a practical and capable young woman.
It is a shame that I am so handicapped; otherwise it would have been a pleasure to have had her stay here.
Mind you being young and adventurous as she is I am sure she prefers the hostel and her independence.
I enjoyed Heather’s visit and felt good after she left, her coming by gave me such a boost.
Glad I did not chicken out and instead invited her to come by, glad that I did not miss out on meeting my friend Jeannette’s daughter.
It brought back many happy memories of Heather’s mother Jeannette and our lives in Reading in the 1970’s.
After Heather left I got Richie to put me back in bed, not longer after I was ensconced in bed I got anxious and quite sad.
Think that was probably because Heather’s visit brought back memories of Reading, and a time when I was healthy and fit.
Not like now where I am so aware of the progress of this stinking disease, think yesterday was also difficult because my hands were so painful and difficult to use.
Did not feel good at all, got the usual early evening hot feeling which I recognised as one of the signs of a bladder infection.
Decided to take antibiotics last thing, this is a better time for me as I always feel nauseous if I take antibiotics during the day which makes eating very unpleasant.
When Richie emptied my catheter bag he agreed with me taking antibiotics as my urine was very smelly another indicator of a bladder infection.
By the time the light went out I was not so anxious, but still enough to keep me from sleeping for hours.
Kept my eyes closed and was convinced that any moment I would drift off to sleep, but that did not happen.
Finally asked Richie for some THC vapour which instantly did the trick and the next thing I knew I was waking up having finally slept.
Pleased that despite my anxiety about the progress of my MS, the THC helped me to sleep.
It was difficult to get myself to stop worrying, kept telling myself to stop as there is nothing I can do to change my situation.
That in a nutshell is what makes this and other incurable progressive diseases so difficult to live with.
If only being positive could help we would all be cured.