Tuesday, August 31, 2010

If Only Being Positive Could Help We Would All Be Cured.

John Wotipka.



It was excellent meeting Heather yesterday, she was here for three hours in the afternoon, and she is a delightful young woman, a credit to her parents and to her country.

She is very intelligent, calm and self assured, I think she would be an excellent person to have in a team; she struck me as being a practical and capable young woman.

It is a shame that I am so handicapped; otherwise it would have been a pleasure to have had her stay here.

Mind you being young and adventurous as she is I am sure she prefers the hostel and her independence.

I enjoyed Heather’s visit and felt good after she left, her coming by gave me such a boost.

Glad I did not chicken out and instead invited her to come by, glad that I did not miss out on meeting my friend Jeannette’s daughter.

It brought back many happy memories of Heather’s mother Jeannette and our lives in Reading in the 1970’s.

After Heather left I got Richie to put me back in bed, not longer after I was ensconced in bed I got anxious and quite sad.

Think that was probably because Heather’s visit brought back memories of Reading, and a time when I was healthy and fit.

Not like now where I am so aware of the progress of this stinking disease, think yesterday was also difficult because my hands were so painful and difficult to use.

Did not feel good at all, got the usual early evening hot feeling which I recognised as one of the signs of a bladder infection.

Decided to take antibiotics last thing, this is a better time for me as I always feel nauseous if I take antibiotics during the day which makes eating very unpleasant.

When Richie emptied my catheter bag he agreed with me taking antibiotics as my urine was very smelly another indicator of a bladder infection.

By the time the light went out I was not so anxious, but still enough to keep me from sleeping for hours.

Kept my eyes closed and was convinced that any moment I would drift off to sleep, but that did not happen.

Finally asked Richie for some THC vapour which instantly did the trick and the next thing I knew I was waking up having finally slept.

Pleased that despite my anxiety about the progress of my MS, the THC helped me to sleep.

It was difficult to get myself to stop worrying, kept telling myself to stop as there is nothing I can do to change my situation.

That in a nutshell is what makes this and other incurable progressive diseases so difficult to live with.

If only being positive could help we would all be cured.


Judy said...

"If only being positive could help we would all be cured."

A truer statement was never uttered. And coming from someone like you who makes a point of remaining upbeat and positive, it is a powerful statement indeed. And I know you will endeavor to remain positive because that is who you are. I endeavor to do the same, but sometimes I have to acknowledge that this is a challenge like few and that I miss the me who used to walk and dance and hike up a mountain. That is just honest. And that my wishing it away doesn't free me of MS. Thank you, Herrad, for sharing of yourself with us. We are blessed.

Radagast said...

Perhaps being "positive" doesn't cure us, but it allows us to see the good stuff, when it happens, and to acknowledge the good stuff for what it is.


Herrad said...

Hi Judy,
Thanks for your moving comment, happy to share.
If only we could get better by will power.
Hard to sometimes think of how it used to be.

Hi Matt,
You are right about being positive and it helping to see the good things .

Thanks to you two friends for coming by and leaving your encouraging comments.
Last night my pain and my hands not working well were too much for me.
The whole time I kept reminding myself that I can not change things and being positive is best way to cope.

Have Myelin? said...

"If only being positive could help we would all be cured."

MS reminds us to appreciate what we do have, however it would be nice not to have daily reminders wouldn't it?

Your vibrant spirit shines daily on your blog. I miss my old body...too. Not my youth...just my healthy body.

soulful sepulcher said...

Hi Herrad,

I saw this about Sativex being approved in Canada:

Canadian regulators approve Bayer, GW Pharmaceuticals' Sativex and thought some of your readers might be interested in that.

Especially if they do not have access to weed for pain.


Gerry said...

I could not help but think what a sad commentary that was about being positive not helping with the cure. When I am in a situation that is difficult I think what am I supposed to learn from this? I do think your lucid take on your situation is highly valuable to read and try to absorb. I just hope you will find some kind of reason for this heavy trial. Or maybe that is it, there is no good reason for it, but as you said it must be gotten through anyway.

JC said...

Wanted you to know that I was here. Nothing I can say but keep every moment as special as you can. I am so sorry this is happening to you. HUGS xo xo xo

Nancy said...

I agree. If only we could think our way to being healthy all of the time. I'm having a low day today. When the blues hit, they are fierce, aren't they?

Yuki Bara said...

The title of this post says it all... So much of my life has been spent dwelling in negativity and that hasn't done me a damn bit of good... Now, trying to be positive isn't helping either... I wish there were a simple cure all for everyone, but life just doesn't help us in that respect... Have a wonderful start to your September, Herrad! <3


Vicki said...

Hi Herrad,
Positive doesn't cure MS, it doesn't stop the progression, but I still think a positive attitude helps us endure it.

There are times, but everyone has times. Thank you for sharing your details - good and bad - so we all know we can live with the progression. Thank you for enjoying life and memories.

Thank you for sharing your beautiful pictures.

Radagast said...

You know, I had an afterthought... I thought several times before making this comment, because it could be regarded as highly inflammatory...

The thing is, I see that you inspire people, Herad. You look at things in a different way, and that allows others to see what's possible - and that's not just about "strength in adversity," although that's part of it. But who's going to do that for you? That's not a rhetorical question - who provides you with your inspiration?

...I'm going to try to close off any possibility that that might be read negatively (it could only be read negatively by somebody who thought they weren't inspirational, of course!). I'll answer my own question: anybody who acknowledges that Herad is a valuable person inspires her.


Jo Anna (Jo) Rae said...

You got that right, darling!

Awww, sweet Herrad, I think of you so much and am so sorry you had a yin/yang kind of day.

In a few months, I register for my 4th annual MS Walk and am forging ahead on your behalf, that of my friend whom I advocate for and everyone who has this nonsensical, dreadful affliction in the hopes that cure is around the corner.

Stay positive, darling lady -- if nothing else, I guarantee your sunny-ness is what's pulled you through!

Peace and serenity,
'The End Of The Rainbow: Life After Bankruptcy'

Herrad said...

Hi Sherry,
Agree hate the daily reminders could live well without them.
I too miss being fit and well not being young.

Hi Stephany,
Thanks for the information, I will tell my physiotherapist.

Hi Gerry,
What I meant was it is a shame that being positive will not cure me.
It won't cure me but it does make my life better being negative would be bad for me.
There is as you say no good reason just have to get through it and make the best of my life.

Hi JC,
Thanks for the reminder, it is good to make every moment special.
Better than not doing so.

Hi Nancy,
If only we could do that, think ourselves healthy.
Sorry to hear you were so low hope you are feeling better today.

Hi Rei,
Shame there is not a cure for us all.
Its pretty shit for you right now with medical professionals seeming to play pinball with you as they send you backwards and forwards to various doctors, pain clinic neurologists with no answers yet in sight.
Difficult to stay positive but please try as you are worth it.

Hi Vicki,
You are right being positive helps us to endure, also that we all have our down moments.

Hi Matt,
Thanks for your lovely comment and answer to your own question.
Richie inspires me with his love and wonderful care.

Hi Jo,
Great to hear you are taking part again on the MS Walk.
And thanks for your sweet comment.

Thanks you nine lovely friends for coming by and leaving your encouraging comments.
Gave me a big boost to see them.