Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Even Closer Than Ever Together.

David Hockney.


Had a good talk with Richie last night about coping with my MS and trying to stop being anxious, panicking, worrying, getting fearful and depressed.

Richie told me that he found dealing with the fast progression of my MS had been very difficult to cope with.

We both realised independently that we can not do anything about what will happen in the future.

But we can do something about the present, we can both affect the moment we are in, better to try to have an affect in the here and now than a future yet to happen.

Much better than worrying about the future, it is not easy to stop worrying, being anxious and getting panicked.

MS is such an unpredictable disease that it is easy to get extremely worried by sudden fast progressions.

Especially like mine where I was still mobile at the end of 2006 and totally immobile by early 2007.

A scary rollercoaster ride for both Richie and me, neither of us knowing what would happen next.

Really difficult to not panic, the other thing that is difficult to control is depression, which is common with MS.

Only realised this spring quite how extremely depressed I had been, having to be in bed for so long waiting for my pressure sore wound to heal.

My defence mechanism for months in my first six months in bed was to say that I was ok at all times, which I clearly was not.

As soon as I posted in February 2009 about how I really felt and what life was like for me, then I got so much support from the blog world which was wonderful.

Helped me realise again how important other people are, how we all need support from each other, none of us can cope totally on our own, we are social creatures who need eacah other.

Starting to be open and honest about my situation and writing about it every day has been very good for me.

It has been invaluable in helping me to understand the whole process that I am living through.

I hope to be here for a few more years and will take it one day at a time and make the best of each moment that I have with my darling Richie.

So glad he is here with me sharing this time with me, which is a special time for us and brought us even closer than ever together.


Have Myelin? said...

Very powerful post, Herrad. The blogging world is very supportive when we are down. Like you, Alex and I have had talks. Seems like all kinds of crazy things are going on here. Renal insufficiency, dealing with grief, MS (duh) low blood pressure and did I say grief?

Alex does not show signs of being tired of dealing with this but we have not been living together that long. I do worry if my illness progresses more (it's happening!) what will I do? He tells me to live one day at a time because it's all we have because the future isn't here yet. We can plan a little for it but if you think about it, the future doesn't always come out the way we think it will.

THAT has certainly been very true for me.

Have a good day Herrad. I am glad we have all our bloggy friends worldwide to give support. =)

Pretty Zesty said...

Hello Herrad!

Great post, and I agree about not dwelling on the past or future! Living in the now is so healthy and I try to every day!

Just wrapped up your package. I hope it gets to you soon! :o)


soulful sepulcher said...

Hi Herrad and Richie,

Yes, you both have been dealt a hand of cards no one wants, ever to be given. But, you've also given it your all and best effort to make the most of time together with the MS taking control, via physical limitations, the MS definitely has not stolen the love or relationship from you, which is the part to focus on, you have each other and nothing can take that away or your memories of past times. You're still you, and he sees you, not the illness and its affects. Getting low or depressed in this circumstance is normal, and expected, I would assume!


Che koala said...

Here, here on the others' comments

You two are wonderful role models.

Thinking of you.

Travelogue for the Universe said...

Thanks for your great post. You help me get through the day! Love, Mary

Herrad said...

Hi Sherry,
Glad you liked the post.
You are right you can plan a little but the future is often different.
Taking it day by day is best, Alex is right about that.
I agree the support from blog friends is brilliant.

Hi Kris,
Please you thought it was a great post, best not to concentrate on what is either gone or to come.
Looking forward to your packet.

Hi Stephany,
You are right MS won't and can't stop how we feel about each other or take away any memories from us.
It has given me huge limitations and you are right we have been given a hand of cards no one would want.
This is special time for us and we are making the best of it we can.
Hugs back to you.

Hi Chekoala,
Glad you agree with everyone's comments, good to see your sweet comment.

Hi Mary,
Glad you liked this post, and thanks for your kind comment.

Thanks to you five dear friends for coming by and leaving your comments.
Good to see your comments always gives me a big boost.

steve said...

Hello, Herrad darlin'. I'm sitting on a broken airplane and thought I'd stop by. You do an amazing job describing and coping with the stresses of both rapid change, and extended stagnation. Keep asking for the help you need and enjoying the pleasures you can. Do you need more pepper jelly? :)

-steve (en route to Boston hopefully soon)

Herrad said...

Hi Steve,
For a moment I thought you meant you would drop by the apartment.
Good to see your comment, we still have some pepper jelly thanks.
Its good on peanut butter very yummy.
Thanks for your visit and comment, I will keep asking.