Tuesday, September 07, 2010
Even Closer Than Ever Together.
Had a good talk with Richie last night about coping with my MS and trying to stop being anxious, panicking, worrying, getting fearful and depressed.
Richie told me that he found dealing with the fast progression of my MS had been very difficult to cope with.
We both realised independently that we can not do anything about what will happen in the future.
But we can do something about the present, we can both affect the moment we are in, better to try to have an affect in the here and now than a future yet to happen.
Much better than worrying about the future, it is not easy to stop worrying, being anxious and getting panicked.
MS is such an unpredictable disease that it is easy to get extremely worried by sudden fast progressions.
Especially like mine where I was still mobile at the end of 2006 and totally immobile by early 2007.
A scary rollercoaster ride for both Richie and me, neither of us knowing what would happen next.
Really difficult to not panic, the other thing that is difficult to control is depression, which is common with MS.
Only realised this spring quite how extremely depressed I had been, having to be in bed for so long waiting for my pressure sore wound to heal.
My defence mechanism for months in my first six months in bed was to say that I was ok at all times, which I clearly was not.
As soon as I posted in February 2009 about how I really felt and what life was like for me, then I got so much support from the blog world which was wonderful.
Helped me realise again how important other people are, how we all need support from each other, none of us can cope totally on our own, we are social creatures who need eacah other.
Starting to be open and honest about my situation and writing about it every day has been very good for me.
It has been invaluable in helping me to understand the whole process that I am living through.
I hope to be here for a few more years and will take it one day at a time and make the best of each moment that I have with my darling Richie.
So glad he is here with me sharing this time with me, which is a special time for us and brought us even closer than ever together.