Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Enjoying All The Moments.


Aleksander Gikerymiski.

Slept quite quickly and soundly until early this morning when I woke up very suddenly feeling hot, like my entire body was on fire.

An unpleasant sensation which I thought at first might be the catheter coming out or changing position, until I realised the feeling was moving around my body.

Did not feel that there had been or there was any catheter movement at all so decided it was ‘just’ the MS.

Putting my arms outside the duvet soon stopped me feeling so hot, luckily that happened pretty fast and I cooled down enough for me to wrestle my arms quickly  back under the duvet.

It did not stop the feeling of flames flickering over my body, but I just decided to ignore this especially as there was nothing I can do about it.  

Lay here thinking about tomorrow and my first hospital appointment, felt myself getting all worked up and upset.

Stopped that at once, said to myself that there was no point in getting upset as it was going to happen whatever I did.

Getting worked up would only upset me and make things difficult, when what I need to do is make things easier.

Deciding to stop being upset was very good, typical of me, always do this get upset and worried until right before the moment itself when I just accept reality and get on with it.                                  

No point fighting something that I need now in order to make my life less stressful, life is too short to waste it.

Not when I want to be here and now, enjoying all the moments that I can and I will.  


Webster said...

I'm so sorry that you are feeling this angst. I just wish I could put my arms around you and comfort you. I hope so badly that you have an empathic doctor who can allay your fears. There is so little that can be done for MS, but this is one thing that hopefully will help you feel a little better.

Breathe in peace.

Cranky said...

Hi Herrad - sorry I didn't see your question about a neurogenic bladder from last week. As I understand it, that's the term for a bladder where the muscles are out of synch so the neck of the bladder doesn't relax to let out pee at the same time as the bladder constricts to push it out. That's what Skip has. She has had bladder spasms and has managed them through Detrol LA and Levsin/Levbid. I just looked online for "bladder spasm drugs" and found an article that lists dozens of them. She uses a 30cc silastic Foley (the silastic is very flexible and non-irritating) and inflates it to 20cc's.

I know everyone's situation is different, but I'm hoping Skip's experience might help you.

Stephany said...

I'll be keeping you in my thoughts, Herrad. You'll be OK, and the end result will make life a little less worrisome.


Joseph Pulikotil said...

Hello Herrad,

I am happy to know that you are enjoying the moments by your positive thinking.It is very inspiring to read the words you have written.

Hope and pray you hospital trip will go of well.

Best wishes,

Herrad said...

Hi Webster,
Thanks for your lovely words, I am feeling better now much calmer.
I will indeed remember try to remember to breath.

Hi Cranky,
Thanks for Skip's info will ask the urologist, curious what she says.

Hi Stephany,
Think you are right, hope to stay calm from now on.

Hi Joseph,
Enjoying the moments is all we can do, that is a good thing to do.

Thanks for you dear friends for coming by and leaving your comments.
Makes me very happy to see them.