Thursday, August 02, 2012

Accept The Inevitable.

Roberto Matta

Since Monday I've noticed that my left arm has become much weaker, when I'm sitting doing my exercises with the Motomed I can't lift my hand to my face.

It is also not possible for me to dry my eyes with a handkerchief nor is it possible for me to adjust either my glasses or my clothing.

What I've also noticed is that I have difficulties raising my left arm adequately in order to do my arm exercises in the morning.

The other thing I am having problems with is using the THC vapour bag, I can use it in bed as I'm not sitting up too much so I don't have to fight gravity.

This latest progression is too fast for me but that is how it goes, is nothing I can about it apart from accept that this has happened and I can't change it.

Not easy for me to accept what is happening, I hate this latest development, the worst thing for me is feeling that I can do nothing.

Not easy for me as I'm not a passive person, I need to feel in control and proactive neither of which is possible with this latest progression of my multiple sclerosis.

It feels like I am in mourning for my bodily functions which are being lost to me, right now it is difficult to dictate this as I am crying too much.

What makes it worse is not been to remove my glasses and dry my face, as well as clean my glasses, which means I can hardly see the text through my tears.

In a while I will call Richie and ask him to clean my glasses and dry my tears then I will try to regain my composure.

There's nothing that I can do except to accept the inevitable, that is so difficult for me, but I have to do it as there is no other alternative for me.

The only thing I can do is what I'm doing now which is trying to make the best of a really shitty situation by being positive and making the best of it which I will do.


4 comments:

Sherri said...

don't you just hate this shit? there just are no other words...

bless you Herrad

Toinlicious said...

Sending you a million hugs. You're such a fighter. An inspiration

Che koala said...

xxxx
And BIG hug

Herrad said...

Hello Sherri,
I agree with you there really are no other words.

Hello Toinilicious,
thank you your kind words, I'm sending £1 million hugs back to you.

Hello Che koala,
and a big hug back to you.

Thank you my dear friends coming by and leaving comments.
It gives me a boost to see them.
Love, Herrad