Today has been a classic dark cold January Monday; I am always surprised, every year that Christmas is always over so soon.
I do like those December days, when everything seems to slow down, and this Christmas gave me something else to think of which I really needed.
It meant that I did not keep thinking about Spike not being here anymore or focus too much about how my MS is progressing and what will happen next.
Difficult not to do so, really extremely difficult, I manage mostly not to dwell on what will happen next, but it is hard not to do so.
During the afternoon, today my fingers were dreadful, it was difficult to type, could not control my fingers at all, which was very frustrating and upsetting.
Funny how as my MS progresses and my handicap gets worse, I am not as upset as I was in 2007, by that I don’t mean I am calm and cool about it because I am neither.
I have never been cool in my life, though I am sure that on occasions I have kept calm, that is because to do anything else would have been more upsetting for me.
I have discovered that I already need new glasses; got these last April which is worrying as it is only nine months but at least I can do something about that and I will.
It is funny how precious life is to me these days, now that I can do so very little, how despite all that, I hope that I can have some more time, another year or two or even three would be great..
Amazing as when I stopped being able to walk and my MS started to progress so quickly I could not imagine what life could be Iike being so handicapped and so dependant.
Well that life is right here and now and despite the pain, discomfort I am still engaged with life and enjoying the moment and loving being here with my darling Richie.