Yesterday Turned Out To Be A Good.Day.

Woman With A Guitar. 1913.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Georges_Braque

Yesterday turned out to be a very good day indeed, certainly when compared with the days before it was so much better.

Feel so good that despite feeling worse than the day before I had a good appointment with Mathilde, my excellent physiotherapist.

I was so happy that I even managed to do the arm exercises using the weights around my wrists again.

After the session I could actually feel that my arm muscles were pumped up because of my hard work with the ½ kilo weights.

What made the day better was the fact that I no longer felt nauseous and was looking forward to dinner, having eaten bread & marmite during the day.

Last night I really enjoyed eating the lovely dinner Richie had made for us, despite him feeling so weak from this horrible influenza.

It was so good to be able to taste the food and to enjoy it all again and to be able to eat it all was also splendid.

Richie baked two apples stuffed with mincemeat, which is made with dried fruit, and mixed peel.

The baked apples were delicious a great way to finish off an extremely enjoyable meal, I liked every tasty mouthful.

Feeling Worse Today.

The Railway Crossing, 1919, oil on canvas.
Ferdinangd Leger.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fernand_L%C3%A9ger

Today I am feeling a touch worse than yesterday; mind you I did manage a reasonable Physiotherapy session at lunch time today.

It is all one step forward and two steps back at the moment and this, I think will be the situation until I am totally recovered from this horrid flu.

Strange to feel so much weaker than yesterday today, but I guess it is not odd at all as recovery from this strain of influenza is very difficult fro everyone.

Hope that I will feel like eating tonight, last night I was not so keen but did manage some mashed potatoes and a poached egg.

My big favourite at the moment is bread and marmite which I have always liked but especially right now.

Marmite and bread has been a great solution for me when I did not feel to eat anything, but had eat to in order to start getting better.

I am very happy that my session with Mathilde, my physiotherapist went so well today; it has given me a huge boost.

Which I really needed, especially today because I am abit weaker and do not want to get down and depressed too.

Difficult not to get down after such a heavy bout of influenza like the one that both Richie and I had, and which we are both slowly recovering from now.

Getting Better Bit By Bit

Alexej von Jawlensky

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexej_von_Jawlensky

Yesterday was a better day for me; finally my chest was not as congested as it has been since last Sunday.

I made the mistake of not sitting up to sleep on Sunday and Monday night which resulted in my chest totally filling up.

As it is extremely difficult for me to cough up anything, my chest became ripped to shreds by my desperate and prolonged coughing.  

It was a pleasure not to spend the day coughing yesterday; very nice indeed, the other nice thing was that I felt like eating yesterday.

Have been feeling nauseous all week and only was able to eat lentil soup, which is never a problem for me to eat.

On Friday I also could eat bread and marmite which was very nice, real comfort food, certainly for me, bread and marmite is easy to eat.

Last night Richie made fresh pasta which he served very simply with finely chopped garlic, leek and grated parmesan cheese with olive oil.

For the very first time this week I ate with an appetite and without feeling nauseous, which was a good feeling.

I even had an extra spoonful of pasta and after dinner I asked for a couple of strands of candied mango with chilli which was a delicious treat for me last night.

Looking forward to getting better bit by bit and day by day, I know that it may take as much as two months for me to recover fully.

Richie has just gone out with the dogs to the park, much to their delight; I look forward to their return and tales of the dog’s happy games together.

.

  

Keeping My Spirits UP.

Surrealistic Namibia.

Feeling a tiny little bit better today, but very aware that I have alot of recovery yet to do, as I am still very weak.

At least my chest though still congested is nothing like as full and painful as at the beginning of the week.

Last night I even managed to sleep without sitting upright in bed to stop my chest getting full and triggering endless painful coughing, as it did on Monday and continued during Tuesday.

Really aware that I need to take it easy and not do too much not while I am so ill with this horrible flu.

Richie despite also being ill is looking after me wonderfully well, as he always does and comments and e-mails are keeping my spirits up. 

Wiped Out Today.

 
Tomaz Setowski.
Polish Artist born in 1961

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Feeling extremely tired right now, which is because of this horrible flu and bronchitis and the medicines I have to take, such as antibiotics and codeine.

I am hoping that despite being so tired and aching all over that I am making progress now and will be getting better soon.

I know from mobile friends that this year’s flu is a heavy one to recover from, most seem to have been ill for a month or more.

One friend of ours here took two months to recover from this, so I will have to be very patient and take it very easy while I am so ill.

It feels really awful, it is pretty nasty, and the worse flu in years, the worse was in 2001 and also in 2006.

What I hate most about this time is how it affects my eyes, I am very wiped out right now so my eyes get tired and do not function well at all.

Think I will keep this brief today as I am really too ill and tired, seeing all the lovely mails and comments from friends was a wonderful boost.for Richie and me.

Wonderful to have such good friends, I really appreciate the support, friendship and love that I get from my lovely blog friends.

Thanks for all your visits to my blog and the wonderful comments you have been leaving, I love all the blog friends that I have made, you make my life better.

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Recovering Slowly At Home.

 
Dreaming with Open Eyes
The Vera, Silvia and Arturo Schwarz Collection of Dada and Surrealist Art from the Israel Museum.

It has been a very long and tiring week, being ill with a respiratory disease, made it very difficult for me to cough and clear my chest.

Tuesday was very worrying after I coughed for hours without shifting anything and it felt like my chest was being ripped to shreds.

Spat out a little bit of blood, which really worried us, Richie phoned the doctor who came right away.

The doctor had already visited us the day before and diagnosed us as having bronchitis and organised antibiotics from the chemists.

When she got here Tuesday afternoon, I had a temperature, the doctor thought that my bronchitis had become pneumonia and decided to send me to hospital,

But funnily enough by the time I got to the hospital and they took my temperature I no longer had fever.

I think that the prolonged coughing and being so congested caused the rise in the temperature, which peaked with the blood.

It looked more than it really was, a tiny bit of blood goes along way and it was very dramatic and scary.

Luckily it only happened the once, which was more than enough for me and for Richie, the OLVG hospital is a good, with excellent staff who checked me out thoroughly.

When they were satisfied that I was not in need of hospital care they let me go home, I felt like kissing the doctor who sent me home.

I am feeling extremely tired and weak now and look forward to this horrid infection getting better.

Wednesday Back Home

 I am happy to be back home, feeling very tired and ill.
 My chest is gurgling away.
Hope it gets better soon.
The strong antibiotics and codeine are knocking me out too.
Thanks for alot for all you lovely messaages.

Worrrying day!

Herrad had a bad night. She coughed up blood this afternoon so I called the doctor, the bronchitis had developed into pneumonia and she was sent to hospital.  After tests X rays and a million questions she was allowed home. A sinister shadow on the X ray will require more investigation so we will back next week. At the moment she is on good form and catching up with her favourite soap.
Thanks for the kind wishes and messages of support- they mean a lot to us.

Herrad is sick!

Herrad has got bronchitis and is too ill to use the computer tonight. She hopes to start blogging again in a few days. Just to let you know Cyril is still going very well.
Richie

Cyril Is Getting Happier Everyday.

 
The Red Tower.
Giorgio de Chirico.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giorgio_de_Chiricohttp

I meant to write about Cyril yesterday until the drama of the broken adaptor happened; by the time Richie came back I was pretty frazzled.

Glad I managed to maintain a calm exterior; inside I was anything but calm, inside I was extremely upset.

So pleased that I did not let rip and upset myself even more than I already was, there was no point at all in getting unnecessarily upset about something I could not influence in any way

I had wanted to post about Cyril, who is settling in very nicely, he seems to like us a lot already.

Following Richie everywhere, when I am in bed he is nearby, either under or next to my bed, he even dragged a dog blanket to the foot of my bed.

He loves getting up on my bed, in fact he jumped up three times not long after he got here on Wednesday.

Which was sweet, since then when he wants to be on my bed,  he stands looking at me and squeaking until Richie puts him up on my bed.

Cyril and Marleen are getting on well; they are starting to become buddies, Friday and yesterday they played together lots in the park.

They have also been running around in the house, and playing growling at each if the other comes near their special toy.

Both are very obviously enjoying the interaction with each other, so glad we have given Cyril a go.

He is a sweet, loving and very playful little dog, who really seems to like us, Marleen and his new routine.

Still can not believe that someone could have had this delightful little dog and not treated him well.

The long toenails indicate that he was never taken for a walk, certainly not for several years, he had Howard Hughes’s style toenails which were too long for him to walk well.

Amazing but seems there is a lot of this negligence mainly due to ignorance about what a dog needs.

On Thursday Cyril had this years injections, got chipped so if he gets lost we can find him, he had his nails clipped and Richie de-wormed and de-fleaed him at home.

So he is all set now to enjoy his new life with us, which seems to really agree with him, he is showing all the signs of getting happier everyday

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Saturday, 8, January, 2011. Dramatic Saturday.

 

Cyril.
A very late post today because I was so tired after the drama of the laptop adaptor suddenly not working.

A very brief post today because I was so tired after the drama of the laptop adaptor suddenly not working.

What a horrible shock that was today, happened not long after I started up my laptop, one minute the battery was 100% and charging.

The next it was not charging and losing power rapidly, it went from 100% to 96% at top speed.

Richie tried all sorts only to eventually conclude that I needed a new adaptor, so there I was with no laptop and no contact with the internet, for what seemed liked forever and was just three hours.

Afterwards Richie said it was awful seeing me being so calm and stoical, he knew then that I was really upset.

I felt extremely upset contemplating having to wait until Tuesday until an ordered adaptor could be supplied by MyCom, who I phoned to see if they had an adaptor.

They suggested I come to their shop and try the universal adaptor first and if that did not work they could order one for me.

Richie went down with my laptop and did not return for more than a couple of hours, when he did he had an adaptor for me.

Brilliant, he had been ages waiting to be helped before finding out MyCom could not help me, well not until Tuesday, as they had to order an adaptor.

Richie paid for an adaptor, left the shop unhappy that I would not be connected until Tuesday, and then, he remembered a small computer shop up the road, and went there.

He got lucky when after much rummaging the man in the shop found an adaptor for me it was wonderful when Richie arrived back with it and I was once again connected.

Cyril Blossoming And Enjoying His Life.

 
Brughels Highway.
Gordon Cheung.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gordon_Cheung

Wednesday night went well Cyril played until he nearly dropped, so when we wanted to sleep I suggested Richie put a blanket on the floor by his bed.

Thought wee Cyril would find that reassuring and I was right it worked in fact so well that very soon he hopped up on the bed with Richie.

Cyril curled up next to him and slept peacefully the whole night and never disturbed once which was brilliant

First thing in the morning I called our vet and made an appointment to have Cyril checked out, have his yearly injections and micro chipped and have his long toe nails clipped.

Richie took him and Marleen to the park  in the morning where he had a great time before coming home for a great breakfast.

We decided that we would have to feed him up as he was rather thin, we were also told by Rebecca that he had lost weight at the other place.

The vet checked him out and said that his heart and lungs sounded very good but that he was too thin for a dog of 5.

He said that his long nails and lack of enough muscles indicated he had not been walked for a very long time, maybe as much as several years.

We were advised to give him extra food and plenty of exercise in order to bulk him up and turn him into a fit and happy dog.

Something we are extremely happy to do, he is a very sweet, playful and loving chap, he has settled here very quickly.

Which is great looking forward to Cyril blossoming and enjoying his life.

    

A New Start And A New Name.

Cyril.

Yesterday was a very exhausting day we were both pretty relieved, me especially once the catheter problems had been resolved.

Just after I posted yesterdays blog post and was settling down to a relaxed evening when the phone rang.

It was Rebecca, a woman who I had been in touch with just after Spike died who wanted to find a new home for her Jack Russell.

When I first got in touch with Rebecca, we were just too late as the dog had been placed taken on a trial placement.

We were both disappointed as he looked a nice little dog, so I sent Rebecca a mail asking her to let me know if it did not work out.

I did have an e- mail on Monday telling me the trial placement was not working and wondering whether we would still be interested in her dog.

Immediately mailed that we were and waited to hear more, on Tuesday evening Rebecca called to say she wanted to meet us.

She said she would call us later that evening but she did not, I mailed her the next day to find out what was happening, and if it was happening.

She mailed me that it was and she would be in touch, did not hear anything all day

then at 19.00 Rebecca called to arrange a meeting.

She suggested we meet at the station at 20.15 and if the dogs were ok with each other we could take him home.

Richie went down to the station to meet Rebecca and Jacky, the dogs got on ok so he came home at 21.00 with our new dog.

He was very excited to be here and started playing with the dog toys like he had never seen any before, it was a sweet sight

Several toys did get destroyed in the process, we decided after seeing him playing happily to rename him Cyril, a new start and a new name.

]

A Very Stressful Afternoon.

 
Reply To Red 1943.
Yves Tanguy.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yves_Tanguy

My appointment at the hospital today, went well or so we thought at the time, it was my first supra pubic catheter change.

There was a painful moment, which passed quickly, so I thought the catheter was ok, until Richie found the reason hours after my appointment at 10.30.

At 14.30 I felt bad, very warm and getting warmer, Richie discovered there was not a drop of urine in my catheter bag, yet I had drunk quite abit.

Starting with my pills, before we left for the hospital, which I took with a pint of cool tea, and then when we came home I drank a lovely fruit shake and shortly after had another big drink of tea.

Richie investigated, at first he could find no obvious reason; there was no kink in the tube which would stop the flow.

There was also no blockage of sediment in the top of the catheter bag which can be dislodged normally by Richie squeezing the top of the bag.

Then Richie tried to rinse the catheter with a small bag of saline solution, which for the first time ever did not work, that worried us both.

Me, especially as I thought at that point I would burst into flames that is how hot I got, not being able to pee since 09.30.

Richie decided to hoist me into the shower chair to investigate further; he hoisted me out of the wheelchair and took the wheelchair away while he got the shower chair.

As I hung in the hoist there was a small flow of urine and more once I was in our shower room, not surprising, it could not go via the catheter so the urine found its own way.

Richie again tried to rinse the catheter through and again no luck, then he suggested taking the catheter out and rinsing it through before cleaning it with a sterile swab and reinserting.

Richie did this and immediately flushed out a small blood clot, instant relief for us both, especially for me as once the catheter was inserted the bag started to fill right away.

.

Shame that the nurses had not been rinsed through my catheter, after putting the new catheter in, then maybe the blood clot would have been noticed right away.

It has been a very stressful afternoon after getting back from the OLVG hospital at lunch time today, now everything is ok and my blog post is written I am going to relax and enjoy the evening.

I Will Get The Hang Of It Soon.

Ubu Imperator.
Max Ernst.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Max_Ernst

Today has been one of those days, started at 08.00 with my wheelchair being collected so the new steering could be installed.

Richie took his bike off for the gears to be mended and came back and not long after he hoisted me out of bed.

After Richie gave me a great shower and I was dressed, we were expecting Annelies advisor from the council and Harm from Welzorg to arrive.

Just as I was brushing my teeth the phone rang and it was Annelies telling me they would be a little late, they arrived an hour later.

When they got here with the wheelchair, Richie put me in it and I tried to steer with the steering right in front of me on a Perspex table attached to th wheelchair.

I found it very difficult to steer at first and was not keen at all about it, worried me for abit, could not work out how or why it felt so bad.

Then Richie pointed out that as there were no arm supports, I had to hold my shoulders, this was causing me a lot of stress and pain.

This will be solved by the steering mechanism being installed into my own Perspex wheelchair table with arm supports.

I will test it out tomorrow when I have to go to the hospital for the first catheter change, which is quite handy as it will give me an opportunity to test the steering.

This evening I am very tired after this afternoon and getting so upset by the new steering,hope I will get the hang of it soon, sure I will.

Enjoying The Moment.

 
 The Swing.
Jean-Honoré Fragonard

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean-Honor%C3%A9_Fragonard

Today has been a classic dark cold January Monday; I am always surprised, every year that Christmas is always over so soon.

I do like those December days, when everything seems to slow down, and this Christmas gave me something else to think of which I really needed.

It meant that I did not keep thinking about Spike not being here anymore or focus too much about how my MS is progressing and what will happen next.

Difficult not to do so, really extremely difficult, I manage mostly not to dwell on what will happen next, but it is hard not to do so.

During the afternoon, today my fingers were dreadful, it was difficult to type, could not control my fingers at all, which was very frustrating and upsetting.

Funny how as my MS progresses and my handicap gets worse, I am not as upset as I was in 2007, by that I don’t mean I am calm and cool about it because I am neither.

I have never been cool in my life, though I am sure that on occasions I have kept calm, that is because to do anything else would have been more upsetting for me.

I have discovered that I already need new glasses; got these last April which is worrying as it is only nine months but at least I can do something about that and I will.

It is funny how precious life is to me these days, now that I can do so very little, how despite all that, I hope that I can have some more time, another year or two or even three  would be great..

Amazing as when I stopped being able to walk and my MS started to progress so quickly I could not imagine what life could be Iike being so handicapped and so dependant.

Well that life is right here and now and despite the pain, discomfort I am still engaged with life and enjoying the moment and loving being here with my darling Richie.

Participating In The World.

Giorno Di Mercato, 1976

Expressionist Art.

Emilio Guiseppe Dossena.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emilio_Giuseppe_Dossena

The thing I love most about the internet is that it gives me the ability to communicate with people all over the planet.

That is really what the internet is all about, simple and straightforward communication and participation. 

Nothing compares I think to the pleasure of "talking" to people every single day around the world and sharing our stories and information.

I get an opportunity to explain my opinions, viewpoints and share information which may be helpful to others. 

My words are not changed by anyone, every post, with the occasional interesting article, has been written by me. 

My blog welcomes comments which lets visitors tell me what they think of my posts and share their stories.

In the 4 years since I started blogging I have made many friendships and received and given alot of support.

I get a lot of positive feedback and comments which make my life so much better and stops me being isolated.

When I got my MS diagnosis on 19 July 2006, I started blogging the next month to receive and share information about MS and the difficulties of becoming handicapped.

This was also in order to make sense of what was happening to me, but also to communicate with other people with MS and without MS.

I believe that blogging has expanded my horizons and I have no doubt that the internet has saved my life. 

It enables me to communicate with others around the world, even when I could not leave my bed for two years.

This was from August 2008, due to a pressure wound, this finally healed in August 2010 and I could sit in my wheelchair once again.

Since early 2009 I have been writing a blog post every single day, something that would have been unheard of 3 years ago. 

I communicate regularly with people I have never, and sadly, will never meet, except online. 

The internet has enabled me to communicate with others and be part of the world.

That is what the internet has done for me, it enables me to participate not just to consume, and despite my MS I can and do participate in the world.

It has helped me despite my severe disability caused by my MS to communicate, which has been and still is being a supportive and liberating experience for me.

It´s 2011.

Berthe Morisot, The Harbor at Lorient,

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berthe_Morisot

Last night we had a more dramatic end of 2010 and start of 2011 then we could ever have imagined.

The fireworks were going off outside which was upsetting for Marleen, she kept trying to ‘climb’ up my wheelchair and get close to me.

We were watching the Jools Holland’s Hootany show, we always look forward to the show, last night we were watching and I asked for a cup of tea.

This is when Richie discovered there was no water; he discovered when he investigated that he could not access the mainstop cock because the basement was flooded.

We called our landlord and got no response from the emergency telephone number so called the water company who arrived and shortly after the fire brigade were also here.

Turned out there was a fire which damaged a water pipe and caused quite extensive flooding, the water was turned off and the water company had bottled water for us.

The water company and fire brigade left once they made sure the fire and flooding had stopped.

 One of our neighbours finally managed to speak to the landlord’s emergency service and the water was back on this morning.

Shame they did not pump out the water in the basement, they will do this on Monday, sadly the combination of water and smoke damage has ruined many of our neighbours possessions they store in the lockups.    

Today it was discovered that the lift too was broken, probably due the fire and flooding, luckily no one got hurt.

Too much excitement of the wrong sort for the first day of 2011, I hope that things will get better in 2011.

 

Grey & Overcast New Years Eve 2010.

Elbe Bridge.

Rolf Nesch.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rolf_Nesch

Today is a grey, overcast day, had to put the light on as soon  as Richie opened the curtains and did my leg exercises.

Hoped for a bright day today so that the fireworks can be seen better, mind you we can’t see them as that freaks Marleen out.

Got a mail from Jacky’s owner that she can’t go through with re-homing him, she says she would miss him too much.

She has two small children who I am sure would hate it if he were to leave them, so Richie will go to Leiden next week to visit Binkie with Marleen.

He looks a lovely dog, I hope Marleen and Binkie hit it off and Richie will bring him home next week.

Be nice to give Binky a new chance and at the same time give Marleen a new chum and us a lovely new dog.

Hope that this time we will get lucky and this little dog will be living here with us, we will change his name so he can have a total new start.    

Feel disappointed about Jacky,I had wondered yesterday whether Jacky’s owner could go through with giving him away.

Thought she might not be able to give Jaaccky away, not when I saw the picture of Jacky and two children.

It is a New Year soon, a new year and new chances, looking forward to enjoying all I can in the coming New Year.

Exciting Things Hapening.

 

Sokea soittoniekka (Blind Musician)

Alvar Cawen.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alvar_Caw%C3%A9n

Great news had a call from Frans, from Tiltechniek, who came by about the new hoist straps yesterday which he was going to order for me and would be here in two weeks time.

Today a happy Frans called to say he had found a set of the straps and a colleague of his would be in Amsterdam tomorrow and could drop it by at 10.00.

Brilliant news, great to get a set that will not be painful like the ones we use now; my skin has become so very sensitive in the last three years that getting the straps on is very unpleasant.

We both wish there were another way of getting me transferred from bed to shower chair and then into wheelchair and back into bed, that was painless.

Looking forward to the new straps tomorrow is excellent to have a set of straps that does not feel unpleasant like my skin is being scrapped raw with an emery board.

So tomorrow will be quite a pleasant change, I hope that the new straps will make transfer as easy as it was recently at the hospital.  

Looking forward to tomorrow and trying out the hoist straps be so good to be able to be transferred without discomfort.

So tomorrow first the excitement of the new straps in the morning and then the excitement of the last afternoon and evening of 2010 before fireworks at midnight.

Then the next excitement is seeing the little Jack Russell, Jacky on Sunday at 15.00 that will be very exciting indeed.

So exciting things happening this year and next year, we are both very excited at the prospect of a new dog in our lives.

I Am Enjoying The Here And Now Immensely.

 
A Long  Way From Greece.

Charles Thompson.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Thomson_%28artist%29

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stuckism

Great news, we got a reply last night from someone in Amsterdam who wants to find a new home for Jacky, their lovely 10 month old male Jack Russell.

Wonderful to get such a quick response and to be picked from the 147 responses so quickly, that is very flattering.

Richie also found another two lovely Jack Russell’s at a dog pound in Leiden, both desperate for new caring homes.

‘

In lots of ways I think we would rather take the dogs from the pound than the dog here in Amsterdam.

I think the dogs in the pound probably need to get a new home more urgently than the little Jacky.

Hope the dogs in Leiden get new homes very soon; they certainly deserve a good home with people, who will look after them well,

We have an appointment to meet Jacky this Sunday and if Marleen and Jacky click then we have a lovely new dog.

If they do not click, then we will be in touch with the dog pound and go to Leiden to see if one of the JR’s there is Marleen’s new chum.

Very dark outside by late afternoon, after what was a surprisingly bright today for a grey overcast day, had a good appointment with Frans from the company that supplied my hoist.

I will be getting a new set of straps in a softer material which is better for both of us, as it won’t be as painful for me or as difficult for Richie to get round me for a safe transfer.

So a good day for us both, Marleen also had a good day when Richie took her for a walk this afternoon.

Despite my disability I am feeling very optimistic about life which feels good, my body has been fucked up by my MS, but my mind and my spirit are fine.

I am enjoying the here and now immensely.

Relaxed Day.

 
Serge Poliakoff.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serge_Poliakoff

Relaxed day today had a very nice visit from Anja, a good friend of 26 years now, brilliant to see her this afternoon, especially as I was just thinking it would be pleasant to see her.

Wonderful to get her mail yesterday asking if it was ok if she popped by this afternoon, which of course it was, in fact it was very alright.

Lovely to have a visitor, felt like the first one for ages, I enjoyed chatting for an hour, very nice to give Anja a present, also for Erik, her partner and Bosse, their son.

Have enjoyed that this Christmas, it is such good fun to give friends presents, felt good to do especially this year, particularly because I am enjoying the moment..

Richie and I had a pleasant time this Christmas, we always do have a good time together, but I still miss also sharing the holidays with friends and having friends coming by.

Thirty years here in Amsterdam, yet despite everything that I do like here I still miss the community that I had in Reading.

Writing that I am immediately aware that of course looking back in time tends to imbue the past with a rosy glow, everything looks better.

Probably just how I chose to remember it, memory is like that it seems to have airbrushed out all the things I would rather not remember.

Becoming very aware that if I want something different that I need to do more to make it happen, which I will try to do more of.

First of all I am going to talk to Richie and suggest we have a party in January, be nice to make up for the cancelled party on the 19 December and have it either on 23 or 30 January.

Especially nice if we can have it then as January is such a long dark month, a get together with friends sounds like a great idea.  

  

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Day After Christmas.

 

The Meschers. 1951.

 Ellsworth Kelly.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ellsworth_Kelly

Well here it is the first Monday after Christmas, wish I could turn the clock back and enjoy those special days again.

It is the day after Boxing Day; and it is quite a bright day with a lot of bird traffic on the bird feeder by the bedroom window.

Richie has taken Marleen to the park for an early afternoon walk and games, also maybe with other dogs.

She is getting quite cheerful again, lovely to see her grabbing her toys and demanding a game from Richie.

I have enjoyed this Christmas very much; especially giving presents to friends has given me such a lot of pleasure this year.

Discovering the delights of Internet shopping has been wonderful for me, I especially like eBay, I think it is very good.

Found an excellent seller Rem.Designs.co.uk, she designs and makes everything by hand; it is well finished and looks wonderful; she will also make up your own designs

She wrapped all the presents I bought for friends in Christmas paper with gift tags which was brilliant, she also wrapped Richie’s presents too.

She is a really lovely woman; I am so happy I found her; she is also on Face Book, I would like to recomend her to everyone.

So if anyone wants well designed, well made and superbly finished clothes Rem.Designs is the designer for you.

www.rem-designs.co.uk

Boxing Day 2010.

The Gate.
Hans Hoffman.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hans_Hofmann

Happy days one of the parcels I was hoping would arrive in the post did arrive and our friend Marianne whose address it went brought the three cd’s in it nicely wrapped for Richie.

Wonderful I am very happy that the cd’s have arrived especially as the band are a big favourite of Richie.

Funnily enough I dreamed that the parcel would be waiting for Marianne when she got home today.

Thought that it was a pleasant fantasy instead it has become reality which is brilliant really is.

So good to see Richie’s pleasure at unwrapping the 3 presents, ac brilliant moment, the packet arriving from the USA would make my joy complete.

Something I bought on 14 November and hoped would get here no problem for Christmas but so far no sign.

Still hopeful that it will be here soon and who knows maybe it will surprise me could even be this week.

Marleen is looking more like a cheerful dog every day good to see her trotting around so far no luck on getting a new dog bet we are both very optimistic that a dog will turn up soon.

Looking forward to Richie playing his new cd’s later which will be very good and for now I am listening to music on BBC Radio 6 which is enjoyable.

Well Here It Is Merry Christmas.

 
The Talisman

Paul Serusier.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_S%C3%A9rusier

http://www.kizoa.com/slideshow/d1308874k6500793o1/herrads-card-revised
Click to eee Christmas card.

Last night we had our presents, just like they do in Germany, and how we used to do it in Trinidad too.

Remember Christmas Eve as a kid so well, as soon as it was dark the tree lights were turned on in the front room.

Then Christmas music would be played and the door would be opened and the Christmas tree in all its glory would be revealed with presents piled up at its base.

Our lovely red Christmas tree looks gorgeous again this year, I think it looks even better than last year.

Richie got me four gorgeous perfumes, Yves St Laurent, Lolita Lempicka, Jean Paul Gaultier and Angel.

All beautiful perfumes which I will enjoy having Richie spray some on me every day, what lovely presents from my darling Richie.

I got him a pair of Dr. Martin’s boots, two scarves and Chas & Dave box collection and there are two presents on their way, that are stuck in the post somewhere.

The Christmas post has become quite messed up with the snow and ice and TNT being on strike over here.

Hope both the parcels will turn up and provide my darling with two more surprises which will be lovely.

Well here it is Christmas Day, the snow is still here but it is gradually turning into a sheet of ice and making getting around difficult.

Richie took a delighted Marleen for a late night run around in the park last night which she enjoyed a lot.

Lovely to see her regaining her joy of being a dog, we have been building her up all week and it has worked.

Have been getting Richie put Marleen on my bed not long after we wake up so we can have a cuddle and bonding session, which she enjoys.

Marleen feels very loved and very much part of it all, important to let her know that her life is not going to change because Spike is not here.

Right now the cloud cover has gone and there is blue sky and a glimmer of sunshine which is gorgeous to see.

I am going to post this and enjoy this sunny Christmas day with my darling Richie and Marleen.

Christmas Eve 2010.

A Man's a Man for A' That Is there for honesty poverty That hings his head, an' a' that; The coward slave - we pass him by, We dare be poor for a' that! For a' that, an' a' that, Our toils obscure an' a' that, The rank is but the guinea's stamp, The man's the gowd for a' that. What though on hamely fare we dine, Wear hoddin grey, an' a' that? Gie fools their silks, and knaves their wine, A man's a man for a' that. For a' that, an' a' that, Their tinsel show, an' a' that, The honest man, tho' e'er sae poor, Is king o' men for a' that. Ye see yon birkie ca'd a lord, Wha struts, an' stares, an' a' that; Tho' hundreds worship at his word, He's but a coof for a' that. For a' that, an' a' that, His ribband, star, an' a' that, The man o' independent mind He looks an' laughs at a' that. A price can mak a belted knight, A marquise, duke, an' a' that; But an honest man's aboon his might, Gude faith, he maunna fa' that! For a' that, an' a' that, Their dignities an' a' that, The pith o' sense, an' pride o' worth, Are higher rank than a' that. Then let us pray that come it may, (As come it will for a' that,) That Sense and Worth, o'er a' the earth, Shall bear the gree, an' a' that. For a' that, an' a' that, That man to man, the world o'er, Shall brithers be for a' that. Robert Burns

Cold Winter Day.

English Beach at Heist.
Georges Lemmen (1865–1916)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Georges_Lemmen

Sitting here typing with my left hand mostly, though I do try to keep using my right hand too, even if only intermittently.

Just gone 16.00 now and it is getting dark, not long now and it is night again, really feel it is winter now.

Marleen is a little bit happier and more relaxed today, which is lovely to see, she also does not look as depressed and as middle aged as she did on Tuesday & Wednesday.

When she sat with her jaw hanging, looking suddenly much older and quite resigned to life.

She seemed to get tremendously cheered up by her walk yesterday, plus Richie put her on my bed in the morning those plus lots of games and attention.

Really good to see Marleen looking and being herself, she woke up very cheery this morning and wanted her early morning games.

First time since last Saturday when Spike was just died that Marleen has been abit livelier, she really wanted a game with Richie this morning which was sweet to see.

At the moment there are no Jack Russell’s online that need re-housing, we will keep looking and hoping for a new dog, so we can lavish attention and love on it too.

Marleen is definitely missing Spike presence and the interaction with him, their 5 years together made them very close, a lovely little pack.

Who knows we may be able to find Marleen a new chum after Christmas, I hope we do.

Nearly Christmas.

Le Jardine de Pontloise


Camille Pissario.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Camille_Pissarro

Soon be Christmas now, miss the excitement of going off on my own to get presents, used to love doing last minute shopping.

Love the excitement and all the people and the cold weather, lovely to find just what you are looking for.

Sad that this is now in the past, but have found the internet and eBay very useful, hope a couple of things still turn up for this weekend.

That would be brilliant but realistically they will be New Years presents, as long as they get here sometime, I do not care.

Shame it had to be exactly the things for Richie that I was the happiest to find, typical that they are the ones that are not here.

Richie has received a big box of his father’s records among them many classical record that he listened to for the first time ever.

Nice of his sister Aud, to send them to Richie, he is so happy to get them as they are full of memories for him.

Another cold grey day today, very quiet outside which I am enjoying a lot, the stillness is all part of it nearly being Christmas.

One more day and it will be here, I intend to enjoy every minute of it.

Tuesday, 21, December, 2010. Winter Solstice.

 
Giacomo Balla.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giacomo_Balla

Today is Winter Solstice, the shortest day and the longest night and then slowly but surely the days will be getting longer again                       

Love these December days, always find myself getting quite excited as soon as it is 19 December.

21 December is also a favourite, love how it gets dark by 16.30 and the quality of the stillness.

There are no bird sounds in the mornings; the only active birds are Blue and Great Tits on the bird feeder.

Shame we did not see the Lunar Eclipse, it was just before dawn this morning and was probably not visible as last night was cloudy.

I got woken up by a phone call  this morning from someone I sent a mail to last night who was looking to re-home Jacky, his 14 month old Jack Russell.

We would have to wait until some other people saw him and f they did not want him then we could have him.

We knew right then, that the other people would take him, sure enough they did, sad for us but good for Jacky as he got a new home with a garden and two children.

So back to searching the internet for a new chum for Marleen, hope we find a nice little dog soon, as she is very sad on her own.

When Richie takes her to the park, she wants to play with every dog; Marleen has always been friendly with other dogs, but never wanted to play much with them as she had her own playmate.

Despite my sadness about Spike not being here anymore and the progression of my MS I can’t help but enjoy this time of year.

I am hoping to enjoy a few more Solstices and Christmases, am looking forward optimistically to the New Year.