Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Was in masses of pain this morning when I woke up, started crying and got very scared and worried.
After some THC could cope with the pain as the THC relaxes me vey well, this is good as it means I am relaxed enough to enjoy the day.
It also means the pain is not in total control of me, would find life so much more unbearable without the THC.
Still can’t believe THC is denied BR @ The Wheel of Fortuna.
This morning caught me out thinking about the prospect of saying goodbye to my love and best friend Richie.
Know this probably won’t happen for a quite while but just the idea of doing so makes me very sad.
As I write buckets of tears are flooding down my face which is unpleasant these days as tears irritate my skin.
Am very conscious that I have to keep control of my emotions, which is not easy to do, but can’t let myself get ruled by sorrow and fear.
Have to really keep on top of that otherwise I will be ruled purely by my emotions.
The tears keep flowing, in a way it is good as it does give me some relief, which is so important otherwise I will go mad.
Now I feel alot better for crying and writing my fears down.
Once they are expressed it all feels so much more manageable.
It means that I can enjoy the early evening now all those feelings are no longer bottled up inside me.