Monday, November 12, 2012

Sunday, 10th November, 2012 The Reality Of My Life.

Roberto Matta.

It is good to have many distractions as I do, however it does not mean that I have forgotten my severe handicap.

I just do not want to concentrate purely on writing about my multiple sclerosis and how it is progressing.

As I've always been somebody who is interested in the world around me my blog reflects this aspect of my personality.

Sometimes I wish that I could forget the fact that I've become severely disabled since my diagnosis of MS in 2006, if only I could forget.

I wish I could totally forget it but I can't because it's ever present and it is becoming more and more obvious that my spine is getting badly malformed.

Even if I could walk I would not be able to stand up straight, instead I would be very crooked and I wouldn't be able to make eye contact with other people.

The de formation of my spine is making me feel a lot of pain and discomfort; I was naive enough to think that I would not have to endure anything apart from the MS.

How wrong I was, my spine is making me bend to the left, when I am in bed I don't notice it but as soon as I'm either in the shower chair or wheelchair I notice it.

Last night it was making me quite miserable thinking about my deformed spine, I hate having not only to cope with this shitty multiple sclerosis but also with my spinal de formation.

There are moments like yesterday when it all become just too much for me, last night watching the football on Match of the Day on BBC one took my mind off my situation.

I am not going to simply let myself be distracted without remaining totally aware of my current situation, but I'm not going to let my handicap rule my life.

I am more than this nasty progressive disease and my deformed spine, I am a brave resolute woman who is determined to make the best of everything and enjoy the moments.

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