Roberto
Matta.
It is good
to have many distractions as I do, however it does not mean that I have
forgotten my severe handicap.
I just do
not want to concentrate purely on writing about my multiple sclerosis and how
it is progressing.
As I've
always been somebody who is interested in the world around me my blog reflects
this aspect of my personality.
Sometimes I
wish that I could forget the fact that I've become severely disabled since my
diagnosis of MS in 2006, if only I could forget.
I wish I
could totally forget it but I can't because it's ever present and it is becoming
more and more obvious that my spine is getting badly malformed.
Even if I
could walk I would not be able to stand up straight, instead I would be very
crooked and I wouldn't be able to make eye contact with other people.
The de
formation of my spine is making me feel a lot of pain and discomfort; I was
naive enough to think that I would not have to endure anything apart from the
MS.
How wrong I
was, my spine is making me bend to the left, when I am in bed I don't notice it
but as soon as I'm either in the shower chair or wheelchair I notice it.
Last night
it was making me quite miserable thinking about my deformed spine, I hate
having not only to cope with this shitty multiple sclerosis but also with my
spinal de formation.
There are
moments like yesterday when it all become just too much for me, last night
watching the football on Match of the Day on BBC one took my mind off my
situation.
I am not
going to simply let myself be distracted without remaining totally aware of my
current situation, but I'm not going to let my handicap rule my life.
I am more
than this nasty progressive disease and my deformed spine, I am a brave
resolute woman who is determined to make the best of everything and enjoy the
moments.
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