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It remains a strange situation but that is to be expected when suddenly life has changed so dramatically.
I still feel the same but am so obviously not the same and never will be again; the only thing that will happen is I get progressively worse.
What I can do now is a fraction of what I could do last year and is more than I ever will be able to do in the future.
Quite a scary thought that at some point I will lose the little that I can do now, no one none of the doctors can give me a prognosis of when or what to expect next.
Nobody knows how or when that will be and what course it will take, we are completely on our own with this.
It became clear to me that as I did not know what was happening the only way to go was to enjoy each day, to make the best of it and to really enjoy every moment.
That became clear to me on the 21 August when I was told by Ton, the nurse from the RCA that I would have to stay in bed until the pressure sore healed.
After I had cried for over an hour I realised that if I did not stop I would be hurting Richie and myself and triggering depression.
It was difficult to stop, difficult to take responsibility and not just let everything wash over me while I played the sad victim.
It was not the moment for introspection; this was the moment when it was important to devise a strategy for survival.
It is a hard situation which needs to be treated sensitively, the whole situation is so demanding that it is important we look out and support each other.
Even though it was difficult to stop crying and to not act as a victim it had to be done especially as I did not want things to be left unresolved to fester away and demoralise us.
.
Being positive was the best option as far as I could see the only viable option; my intention was to enjoy everyday.
First I pretended and very deliberately enjoyed myself until it became natural after awhile.
I found I could enjoy a variety of things like a sunny day, the sound of happy kids playing outside the house, watching the dogs playing lots of things to enjoy if you are receptive.
Glad that I decided to enjoy everything there was to enjoy especially as it is not certain what will happen next.
So really best to enjoy life while we can.
And that is what I do.
Hope everyone is having a good day today.
16 comments:
Dear Herrad:
Though life has thrown you a heavy burden to carry; you have shown that an outlook taken with earnest effort does make all the difference.
This in turn gives your life, and those lives around you a deeper fulfillment and meaning. You have taken the road less traveled by and it has made all the difference.
Once again, thank you for just being you.
Stan
Hi Herrad. I have no award to give you (I don't believe in them.) However, I do have a note of LOVE that I received from Blindbeard recently, and it touched me so much. It isn't what I consider an award, but an expression of feelings for what had transpired between the blogger and the reader. It means more to me than any award, and so I now display it fondly on my journal. I'd like to pass this sentiment along to you. Granted, it's Spongebob saying this, but I love a little humor mixed with genuine feelings. I am now passing this sentiment along to you, because I've grown very fond of you and your strength.
Talk again soon..
XOXO Jen
Hi dear Stan,
Thanks for coming by and leaving this comment.
Travelling down this road is made easier with meeting other travellers like your good self who give me so0 much support.
Thanks for the love and encouragement and support.
Take care of your fine self.
Love,
Herrad
Thank you for the inspiring post here Herrad, I like how you said you had to learn to enjoy the moment deliberately until it became a natural process. That really is how it works, for me too. Learning to cancel out a negative with a positive.
Have a good evening
Hi Jen,
Thanks for coming by and your sweet comment it is very appreciated.
Hi Stephany,
It is very mechanical at the start but when you do it more often it becomes natural.
Have a good evening.
Love,
Herrad
You are an inspiration to me. I like your determination to live in the moment and enjoy today as it is. I need to be reminded of this from time to time. Thanks Herrad.
Hi Rae,
Thanks for your visit nice to know you have been to my blog.
Have a good afternoon-evening.
Love,
Herrad
herrad, thanks so much for this post! you always seem to have something just when i need a reminder of how i need to live! [hugs]!
Hi Libby,
Thanks for coming by I really do appreciate it very much.
I was very aware today of the benefits of positive thinking but also how you have to learn how to be positive.
Love,
Herrad
I have found it most certainly helps making a conscious effort every day to stay in the moment and to stay as positive as possible. On a down day I just come visit your blog. You are inspiring.
Herrad - I read this post to Skip. We're both so awed and moved by this. Skip says you've captured her view of the future perfectly.
Love, Cranky
Hi Kelli,
Have to remind myself everyday.
It really is a conscious effort every day.
Hi Cranky,
Thanks for your comment and Skip's.
It is not easy but it is the better option than being negative.
Really appreciate your comments.
Love the support network very much.
Thanks to you all.
Have a good day.
Love,
Herrad
I lived what you are going through via my son. I could never experience the embarrasments he suffered or the pain except through the feelings I had as his mom. I seldom come in here as you know, I see the dogs more but your courage is wonderful, and I will add courage is what kept my son going for the 7 years he lived, after diagnosis. Lucy
Hi Lucy,
Thanks for visiting here, you too are very courageous.
Really appreciate your visits especially as your son had MS so you havye lived through alot of pain with him.
Thanks and a big hug.
Love.
Herrad
Big hugs, Herrad. I visited your doggies today, too. I do wish I could visit you there sometime. I would love to hear stories about your life, now and before you got MS. About Trinidad. About Richie and how you met. You have so much to teach us all, Herrad. I wish I could give you a kiss on the forehead. Smooooochhhhh. There I just did. Missed you, sweet girl. I've been behind on everything lately. You are in my thoughts and prayers everyday even if I can't get here. Love you.
Lille
Hi Lille Diane,
Thanks for yor very sweet comment.
Would be lovely for you to visit, you and Rain.
Hope you are doing well and life is being good to you.
Have a good day.
Love,
Herrad
PS Was going to give you The Positive Attitude Award but saw on your blog you did not want any awards.
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