After I woke up morning I started to cry, usually I try to hold back the tears, but once they start it is difficult to stop again.
Today it was more difficult to do so; my whole situation was really getting to me, and especially knowing there's nothing I can do to change it.
How I wish there was because I would do everything I could, but sadly it is neither in my power nor in the power of my darling Richie.
Richie does so much for t and I don't just mean the physical care, he makes my life so much better, he always has.
Crying has a function, today it was necessary to relieve the pressure that has accumulated recently.
One thing I'm about is that tell Richie immediately that I was depressed and could see no chance of my prospects improving.
It’s pretty depressing being in bed so long again, with seemingly no chance of going outside.
Sometimes it feels like I will never experience that again, when I had to go to the hospital recently I was briefly out in the fresh air and it was wonderful.
Even though it was only for a few minutes between the front door and getting into the ambulance still it was gorgeous to be outside.
Luckily the weather was wonderful that day, it was warm and sunny, sadly I did not see much of this beautiful city through the ambulance windows.
The crewmember who sat in the back with us told me where we were passing which was very nice of him.
Those few minutes outside were wonderful.