Concentric circles.

This week has been very difficult because the effects of having been in bed for over a year are very noticeable now.

My muscles have become so weak that my body sags and hangs in concentric circles from my torso to my hips.

It means that my body has concertinaed and is sagging and leaning and hanging in different directions all at once.

It is very destabilising so the rest of my body tries to compensate and my shoulders and neck try to keep me sitting up in one spot.

This is not possible and it gives me considerable amount of stress to my shoulders and neck, especially my neck.

Since Wednesday I have not been sleeping well, and on Thursday did not sleep all night, lay in bed dozing and really felt any minute I could drift off but it did not happen.

Last night thought there would be no problem in sleeping after two bad nights but seems I was wrong about that as I lay here dreaming about sleep.

At the beginning of the week twice I drifted off to sleep only to wake within a short time.

Once after two hours and the second time after 10 minutes, each time I was confused as I had fallen asleep so quickly.

Thought at first that it was the middle of the night, it is a really strange falling asleep so quickly and deeply only to wake up ten minutes later just as Richie’s light was out.

Heard him start to sleep soundly and assumed that this would also happen for me but it did not happen.

I lay with my eyes shut breathing slowly and hoping that I would drift off again, many hours later I asked Richie for thc after he returned from the toilet, and that did the trick.

I also think that the MS is progressing a wee bit too as my hands and arms are not cooperating so well this week.

A friend of mine is convinced that my mouse is too heavy, can’t seem to explain to her that it is a cordless mouse with a battery.

It is not too heavy, that is not the problem, and my problem is my hands do not have the articulation that they had.

And my arms which have been very tense this week and not easy to move, plus sitting up to eat is less pleasant.

Due to the concentric sagging of my body I can’t sit as upright to eat so half recline, which I had to do from the start.

Except now I am slumped lower and my arms/hands are having increasing problems to ferry the food from plate to mouth.

Added to that is has been so cool and dark and rainy for the start of September, on Tuesday it poured for hours.

The changing of the seasons is too abrupt for me, but then again that happened at the start of summer one minute it was 20 degrees and next it was 30 degrees.

Despite how wipe out I was in the heat it is better than grey, wet, cool.

I think all these things plus thinking about the wheelchair has upset me this week and the fact summer has gone too.

No wonder I am feeling it all.

Oh well still going to make the best of today, there was a quick glimpse of sun which was nice.