Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Bright Cold February 3rd 2010
Thought Ton would come here today, so took a lormetzepam last night and slept until 10.30 did my arm exercises and Richie did my leg massage and exercises.
After that I took my baclofen and calcium/vitamin D tablets and then brushed my teeth and washed face and neck and hands.
Then I was ready for the weekly inspection by Ton, from the RCA, the Amsterdam Rehabilitation Clinic.
The phone rang and it was Ton to say he wouldn’t be here today, but tomorrow at 11.45 with Ludwine, the doctor’s new assistant.
She, Ludwine is made for this job, she is so good, good empathy with her target group which are people rehabilitating from a variety of reasons and causes.
When I first met Ludwine I was still walking, if only just, had recently bought a smart black walking stick.
Then I could just about get up and down the two flights of stairs between me and the outside world.
Shame the tablets they have now to stop walking getting progressively worse, were not available then, they may have been able to help me then.
Maybe if my first neurologist had taken some action, things might be different now too, he did nothing and would not even give me any information, none.
He very clearly told me in so many words, I can’t help you are going to get progressively worse.
We can warehouse you, and give you personal care, we just can’t offer you any medical care, and there is nothing we can do to influence your MS.
Sadly there is nothing we can do, but observe and watch and document your steady decline.
All the more reason for me to make sense of it by deciding I can only be here and now, we all are.
We all need to realise that we all only have this now and none of us know what the next minute can bring.
Sounds good to me, like the only good way to live.
It is very cold today and bright and sunny which I am going to enjoy now.