Sunny Intervals For Sunday

 

Unknown Artist.

Slept wonderfully well last night, even managed to fall asleep again this morning when I woke up sooner than I wanted to.

Asking Richie to shut the windows really helped, as soon as the cold air was no longer wafting into the bedroom it was easy to slip back off to sleep.

This is always such a big achievement that on the rare occasions it occurs I enjoy it tremendously.

Feel quite relaxed now after being able to do something as ordinary and simple as falling asleep again after waking up.

Never realised until MS that it would become such a rare event, did not realise before, that relaxing my body would also be a rare occurrence.

When I press the button on my bed that lowers the foot end and then the head end of the bed so that I can sleep, I can’t stretch out and relax myself.

I never thought that my body would not be able to relax very much or not at all, that thought never crossed my mind, certainly not when I was just diagnosed.

I can not move my legs or my torso, so just have to lie as Richie has organised me, can not straighten a leg or tense it up and relax.

My way of relaxing is to fall asleep and hope that waking up will not be by leaps and bounds, literally, as my fingers cramp and twist in jolts of movement.

Hands do the same ball up into tight fists and are difficult to straighten out, then the legs start drumming and gently vibrating and kicking up.

Relaxing only really happens in my mind as I try to override the sensations produced by the nerves transmitting the signals.

Scrambled messages, wrong messages, jumbled messages, nerves are all transmitting them at the same time, or so it feels like and no wonder it feels so awful and can’t be controlled.

If they could then I think that researchers would be well on their way to working out the causes for MS.

Controlling the nerve message would surely be able to change the w ay MS affects us all, what a wonderful fantasy one I can enjoy having many times.