Will Do Whatever It Takes.

 
Snapshot of me in August, 2008

Strange day today, dark dull rainy day outside had to put the light on this morning at 10.00 that is how dark it was.

Slept well just not long enough, it was only just light when I woke up and sadly could not fall asleep again, no matter how many pleasant fantasies I had.

Could not achieve the bliss of a couple more hours sleep, did have some great fantasies like floating down a river in a rowing boat with Richie.

Being in a light house looking out at a wild sea and watching the light beam from the light playing over the water.

Lovely fantasies but no sleep not even for a second, hate that every time I am nearly relaxed my arm muscles contract and I find that my arms try to fold over my breasts.

Then I have to work hard to unclasp my arms, straighten my fingers and get my arms down by my side.

By which time I am totally wide awake and the whole cycle repeats, I relax and my arms do the same painful thing, my legs also start to have almost gentle vibrating spasms.

In the end just lay in bed trying to relax and enjoy being on a beach in Trinidad which was pleasant.

My arms were so painful and stiff that it took me ages to get them out from under the duvet, hurt like hell, eventually it worked.

Once Richie helped me to straighten my right arm I could hold on to the handle above my bed and start my arm exercises.

My arms are getting incredibly painful, especially notice this when I am outside these days, this means that I have to work hard to get anywhere.

Had not thought that my arms would be like this certainly not now but guess as with everything with this shitty disease I will have to accept and deal with it the best I that can.   

And I will, have already started by speaking to Johanneke about other ways of steering the chair, good to get action now as these things take months here and I do not want to be stuck indoors.

Will do whatever it takes to keep mobile and keep happy.