Saturday, March 14, 2009

Life's pearls.

What a different day it is today, started off really lovely with gorgeous sunshine but since then its got more cloudy and overcast and now there is a grey ceiling over the city.

Now I really believe spring is on its way as we are getting the grey ceiling days oh well who cares when we have sun in our hearts.

Hope Amelia is getting some sun in Devon and her pain is getting less, be brilliant if it were getting better really hope so.

Please visit her at

Been thinking about her lots, if only we could achieve things by the power of thinking we would all be well.

Mind over matter sadly does not cure us of this horrible disease its a shame as we all have to assert ourselves daily against MS.

Nothing can really prepare you for this and maybe thats ok, would I have wanted to know what was going to happen to me.

Would I have wanted to know that I would end up having to be in bed for over 6 months its now 7 months in bed.

All I can do with my hands is type and eat and drink all very important and actually very pleased that I can now use my left indexfinger to type at the same time as the right index finger.

I do arm exercises when the fysio is here I use weights

Have not been able to sit upright since I am in bed could not do it at first as the sore was too deep to permit me doing that.

So have been sitting abit slumped which makes eating and drinking difficult.

Been having to lie around is not so easy really aware that its not good fo0r the body all the more reason to do the arm and shoulder exercises.

Very important that Richie massages and moves my legs every morning and the fysio comes twice a week and that every night I use the motomed.

An excellent machine keeps the blood ciculating,stops feet and legs getting swollen and promotes healing and is good for my spirits.

Difficult to stay optimistic and cheerful now I can do so little but there is no choice asa to do anything else would be so very bad for me.

Being cheerful and opimistic and enjoying what I have is the only way I can go the other option would be so very bad for me.

It would kill me so really my choice has been for myself,purely selfish and in my own interest.

Its also very good for Richie and I and makes the time that we have so mcu better, this does not mean that I don't have down days cos I do but thats life in all its beauty.

Love life perhaps even more than I did hope that I can keep feeling like this and keep enjoying my life despite the shit.

Heres to the pearls of life.


Richie said...

Life is a lot harder now you are ill and our relationship has become somewhat more complex. It is a very painful experience for you physically and both of us mentally but never the less I love my life more now and I enjoy our love more. I wish it was easy again and what we lost is not worth what we have gained but I am glad to be alive and glad to be experiencing life with you- even the crappy bits.
If Scotland can beat Ireland this evening it will be a lovely day!

Ana said...

You always amazes me with your photos from Amsterdam.
I really love your city!
I'm very happy you're feeling fine.
Yes, that's what life is all about.
Ups and downs....

Amelia said...

I have just read you post and am sat here in tears!
The thought that you, all the way over there, are thinking of me and hoping that I feel better, when you are as you are, is breath taking. I feel very humbled.
I am really struggling today, both physically and emotionally and then I read this and think I need to buck my ideas up!
You are a real inspiration to Martin and me.
I've never met you, but one day would love to do just that.
I love you both very much and feel very lucky to have "met" you. That is one thing I can thank MS for.
Keep up your positive spirit, you may be doing it for yourself, but I can assure you it is helping a lot of us do the same!
Love & big hugs to you both
Amelia XxXxX
PS The sun is shining here in Devon today!!

soulful sepulcher said...

Though it's not the same obviously as MS and what you are going through; I had to remain in bed for my first pregnancy for 6 months. It was depressing, and I admire your tenacity to hang onto positive outlooks. I think about you a lot.

mortonlake said...

good entry herrad.if it was just me i wouldnt care,but im a carer as well.sometimes the carer needs care,but hey,there are many worse of than me,like you i count my blessings.take care,love mort xxx

awb said...

I agree with the part about knowing, I don't want to know, especially if it's bad! I've always been lucky to live in my own world, but sometimes that isn't even enough.

Anonymous said...

Nothing I hate more than enforced perkiness when someone is ill. I do believe in mind of matter with SOME THINGS, but when you are very ill, I don't think it should be put upon you to be THANKFUL and GRATEFUL & thinking POSITIVE and all that sh*t. And I don't think you should have to say,"Isn't it great I can still...." because everyone knows there used to be so many more I can stills.....

You & your husband certainly did not ask to play this complex & convoluted game, but you do seem to savor the love and life you 2 still have, which is beautiful.

OldLady Of The Hills said...

You are simply amazing, my dear. I so admire your ability to stay positive for as much time as you do....I understand a little bit of what you are going through---Not because I have MS, but because of my Lung Disease....I am confined to my home and have been more than 4 years now---I cannot go anywhere where there are people because my lungs are so compromised....The complete change in my life as I knew it, is pretty astounding and quite depressing.....I know this is not the same at all---But just a tiny thing in comparison to what you live with....You are an inspiration, my dear! I DO try to stay as involved as I can and take an interest in as many things as I can....But, as you know, it can sometimes be very hard. I am alone here and sometimes that's okay...other times...Well, it can be quite diffcult. BUT, we press on. And as I said above---YOU are an true inspiration!