Monday, March 30, 2009





Lovely morning today bright and sunny with gorgeous blue skies made me really happy especially as the morning routine helped again.

Last night just before Richie turned the light off he kissed me and I started to cry, could not have been able to put it into words.

It was of course the whole situation, having to cope with the fast progression of this horrible disease.

That is so very difficult and more each day as I see and feel the effects of the progression of the MS.

What is worrying me is that the disease is moving forward so very fast that it is difficult to come to terms with.

If only the MS could stop progressing for abit but there is no let up and I have to eventually accept that I will lose what I can do now.

At some point swallowing, talking and sight will be difficult and indeed not functioning any more.

At least I am in a better situation than Debbie Purdey in England who is forced to go to the Dignitss euthanasia clinic in Zurich earlier as then she can still travel alone.

If she waited until life became too difficult she would not be able to travel alone and anyone helping her travel could get taken to court and prosecuted for helping her die.

At least here I can stay at home and when I decide enough is enough I can get our lovely GP to come and help me, I don't need to go to Zurich I can stay at home.

It is not my favorite topic would rather be alive but not when I can no longer be fully alive in the way that is acceptable to me.

17 comments:

Anne said...

Good morning Herrad! It is sunny here in Pennsylvania too, after a horrible last night with storms and one tornado not far from here.

Spring is trying to spring - not quite ready to put away the long sleeve shirts yet, but almost.

I love seeing your beautiful pics with Spike on the bed! Our pets are such a great comfort. We love Baby like he was our baby.

Oh, he is.

LOL

Herrad said...

Hi Anne,

Lovely ro hear from you that's made my day.

Take care.
Love,
Herrad

Kris said...

Your pup is so cute! Anne is right, they make our day even when we are having our worst. Have a great day!

Stephany said...

Have a nice day today Herrad, you have a beautiful smile. I woke up today when my cat was standing on my stomach. Koda loves to chase her before his walk, in a playful attempt to brag he is going on a walk I believe!

sending a big hug

Herrad said...

Hi Kris Hi Stephany,

Great to hear from you both hope you have a good day today.

Love,
Herrad

steve said...

My mother and father were having dinner at the nursing home, sharing the table with a 92 year old woman. When the conversation turned to my father selling the family house, it got a little heated. Wanting to break the mood, the elderly lady said, "This party is getting kind of rough. I'm going to get my pants and go home."

Here's to keeping MS from dominating your party!

Herrad said...

Hi Steve,

If only it could be kept at bay.
Love,
Herrad

Anonymous said...

Good evening H, loved the pics. Spike looks like butter woul,nt melt in his mouth. Are those THC bags getting Bigger:)very glad you have that instead of all the chemical "solutions"

BIG FLUFFY LOVE @ HUGS G@PXXX

Libby said...

hi herrad! isn't it wonderful to wake up & see sunshine outside?? it's very sunny here in ohio today too! it just makes me smile...that, and my cat truman licking my nose!!

Herrad said...

Hi Gareth,

The thc bags are same size just more often.

Hi Libby,

Truman is a great name for a cat.
Love,
Herrad

steve said...

If only it could be kept at bay.

From your fingertips to God's ears, darlin'.

I came to terms with the downward spiral when BR's Rituxan treatment failed to stop progression, and the pain pump trial didn't even make a dent in his pain. But coming home last night after being away for a week was one of the happiest moments we've shared in a while. We stayed up late and talked and laughed. The MS didn't go away, but we sure did shove it into the closet for a few golden moments.

We're off to the neurologist today for some final advice before they shove wires into BR's spine on Friday. I'm still hoping that by some miracle the procedure gives him some relief.

Be kind to my friend Herrad for me, OK? I hear she's having a hard time of it.

Herrad said...

Hi Steve,

Getting home last night sounded fun for you both.

Hope your appointment at the neuro's office went well.

Going to be thinking about you both and hoping friday will be the solution for BR's pain.

Take care.
Love,

Herrad

mortonlake said...

MS = much suffering herrad. swallowing problems are really nasty.says he who choked on a mars bar the other week.take care love mort xx

Herrad said...

Hi Mort,

Thanks for your comment.
You take care too.
Love,
Herrad

Charisa said...

I hope you feel better and can enjoy the day! Sending you sunshine!

Stephany said...

I thought about you all day today. How you have choices, and I just want you to know I am glad to know you. How was your day? I've walked the dog this evening, and it was drizzling a light rain.

Here's to you, my friend.

Herrad said...

Hi Charisa,

There was alot of sun.

Hi Stephany,

Glad to know you too.

Love,
Herrad