Saturday, March 21, 2009
Another lovely day, sunny and blue sky but a touch on the cold side I am told.
Woke up quite slowly today which was pleasant, only to instantly feel all the pain as soon as I was awake.
As my whimpers got louder Richie reacted quickly to my whispered 'please get me a bag' and was back in no time with a bag of vapour.
Afterwards lay here thinking about what a strange life it has become for me where all I can do is lie around.
Difficult to accept that I do not have any balance left and can only sit because the bed can be put to a sitting posistion.
Mind you have not been able to really sit up properly as that would put too much pressure on the area of the sore.
Find it really difficult to adjust to a life so handicapped as mine is now, really can't believe it has happened so fast.
The pressure sore has helped accelerate the process so it is vital people do everything to guard against pressure sores.
Here I am slumped in bed now for 7 months, think that I am doing very well staying so cheerful.
In between times I cry my eyes out and bemoan what I can't do and then try and calm down and get on with it again.
It works but hurts but really aware that enjoying the moment and making the most of things was important as moments go by so quickly.
Became aware of moments getting away from us when I heard the sad news on Monday that our good friend Nick Leslie had died.
Have been quite shocked at the news especially as had been hoping to see him on my birthday.
Saw the dear man for the last time on the 30th of December when he came round for a visit, its a really odd idea that we won't see him again can't believe it.
Started to accept its true since the details of where the cremation will take place was sent in an email yesterday.
It said Nick Leslie had died this Monday, he was born same as me in 1951 and died age only 57, Nick was 7 months younger than I am.
This afternoon I shall especially enjoy as I think of our dear friend Nick and fondly recall amusing memories of the wonderful man.
Nick dying reminds me again how short life is and how good it is despite this fucking handicap, and even despite our lives being so comphrehensively demolished.
Happy to be here with my darling Richie this beautiful sunny Saturday.